Quote: all I can think of is jethro tull, any relevance?
YES! Well done, LL! JT's one of my favorite bands. I love their eclectic/folksy/Celtic style.
Quote: today I called one of the local gyms that have onsite childcare...I have an appointment to meet with one of their trainers next tues night to look over the club and see if I'd like to join.
Quote: look I'd like to go anyway if you have to leave you have to leave but I'd like the getaway for myself. (I already have my friend comming to stay with the kids) good idea? bad idea?
Hmmm... I don't see why that would be bad, but why say anything? I mean, you don't know if he's going to have to come home to plow. Perhaps just act "as if." If he does have to leave, then tell him you want to stay then. Besides, if you put that out there now, he'll think you're okay with him leaving (which I know you're not)...and you will lose your vacation credits for somewhere else... Let him work for you, LL. Don't let the guy off so easy.
ok so c very much wants me to go back to school. I don't think there has been a session yet since the idea was first brought up (by me) that he hasn't mentioned it. My mention of getting a part time job was his window of opportunity this time.
I'd love to go back to school, work on getting that masters so that by the time the kids are in school full time I can get right to the real job. but h seems to have an issue with the money? I wonder if it is just the money or if there is some other resignation in there.
when we met I was a junior in hs and h was a sophmore in college, h never did finish, dropped out to start his business, I continued on to get a bs and worked. I have brought up the going to school thing with h and is doesn't seem like a possitive in his eyes, says why don't I see what I can do with the degree I already have now. thing is I know I will need the masters to get any decent job (isn't that the way) and why not work on that now while I am home with the kids rather than wait til they are in school work somewhere else making the money to pay for it. I don't see that it would be any huge financial burden, hey h, here's a thought, give up the appartment and use that rent money to pay for my schooling?? what d'ya think of that. $ for school issue solved. my viewing the appartment as your still not being fully commited to our m gone. two issues resolved in one shot. hmmmmmm? that makes too much sense though doesn't it. oh but let me guess the money for that apt doesn't come from our household budget? so then neither does my schooling!
thanks for the smiles. I'm always happy to have a visitor. was just trying to catch up with you, but your too damn popular over there it's hard to read it all. was in the middle of a discussion about your e-mail from h. and a possible appology to him for an encounter.
LL, sounds like you have been doing alot of soul searching..do what you think would be the most fulfilling to you right now.. and still be able to take care of your kids and home..don't get into overload like I see so many young moms do..work, kids, home..they are so stressed and tired and guess what suffers?? all of the above..do some fun thing for you while you can..theres always time for serious work when the kids are in school..I only worked part time (2 days a week) until my kids were in high school..they are only young once..just getting out around other people will help..something I did not do and now can see that I was too foccused on home and family. Take care Sue
I am tired of the snow, tired of h having to be out all hours because of it, tired of my insecurities over ow, is she truly gone?? I did feel like she was gone and now I am not so sure.
I am not enjoying the way I feel in regard to h lately and it is seeping over into other parts of my life.
I just want all of this behind me and I don't know what the final outcome of it all will be.
is h once again talking to ow??
will h once again leave?
if h is still having second thoughts and is going to leave I wish he would just do it!!
LL - I wish that I could trudge through the snow and give you and your darling kids a great big hug. But seeing that I'm down here in NC, this will have to do:
((((((((((((LostLove))))))))))))
I've been keeping up with your sitch but haven't gotten any flashes of insight. Like you, I don't like how I am feeling about my spouse either. What we both understand is the power of choosing to love someone unconditionally - that no matter how they treat us, we can rise up, look beyond it and embrace all parts of them.
Like you I have my doubts about what my final outcome will be. One thing that I do know is that you WILL be - strike that, you ARE - a winner. You show that every day to your kids - you show that to your H even though he may not deserve it. OW does not deserve to be on your radar screen at all - act as if she does not exist any more. I never cease to be amazed at the grace, charm, strength and feminimity that you and the other lady posters show here.
I hope that you make your day a good one and I'll try to do the same...
Let him work for you, LL. Don't let the guy off so easy. 
