I am sure it is hard to see your D hurting but I think SA hit it when she said that once things have calmed down a bit, he may change his mind! He is mad at you and taking it out on her.
BTW-since you seem to have so many vivid dreams, you should consider getting a dream analyzing book! I have thought of it but I have only had like 2 dreams of H since he left that I can actually remember!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Thanks everyone for the input. I would love to tell you I had a sleepless night but . . .This one stayed with me when I woke up.
He was on the phone with OW telling her that he loved her and he loved me but but he was staying here with me. I was horrified and trying to grab the phone and tell her to come pick him up. How's THAT for weird??? Also, he was going through my closet picking out lingerie. At this rate I'm going to end up on Jerry Springer.
OK Punkin, I'm going to give you my amateur dream analysis on this one. First of all, yes, this one's weird. lol
Here goes - You realize your H still loves you, but you also know he's not done cooking yet and don't want him back while he's only half baked and still confused.
Lingerie part? I got nothin' except maybe wishful thinking on your part??? That's how I'd be wishing anyway. LOL
SA & CW - I think you both have found a new calling in life. Dream interpretation. You certainly got more out of it than I did. I'm just dead tired of the dreams night after night. Put a palm with a neon light up in front of your house.
My detachment from him, unless I am kidding myself, is such that I can't see myself ever back with him. The person he was is just a faint memory, and it wasn't all that supportive of me in the first place. I'm afraid that what I want is for him to chuck the OW, come home on bended knees with tears in his eyes, so I can tell him to FH. The person I loved is, like, dead. I've had a grieving process. I just have to wait to get the will and property taken care of.
Do I sound callous? I haven't had a single loving gesture from him in 5 months. I'm standing, but for me, for my family;not him, and not the R.
Don't mind me too much today, it's just my time of the year.
Keep in mind that your emotions will cycle too. I still have moments when I get angry and want to tell him to take a leap. Much fewer and farther between though.
Doesn't sound callous, just sounds like where you are at the moment.
Grace, I think that's what is killing me. Playing nice when what I really want to do is break off his arm and beat him to death with it. Playing nice not only in regard to D, which I am keeping him from getting, but for DB'ng as well.
I'm not a total in-your-face biiatch, but I don't usually bottle myself up. I need to find an outlet for these emotions, like stomping baby ducks. Just kidding. I'd rather beat Wh to death anyday.
Get a pillow and beat it to death until the feathers fly. Guaranteed to make you feel better.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I've had rare what I would label 'loving gestures' from H in the last 9 months. When one would come it use to send me spinning thinking H still loved and cared about me.
Since you don't run off and live with somebody else when you love and care about someone, I got smart and realized those gestures meant as much as no gesture at all.
So, now when the rare gesture shows up I've detached enough to not have it mean anything more than a mere curiosity.
When you get to the point that you can get past the anger and can forgive your H, you'll find it's really for you and a peace will settle over you.
The good news is I had NO dreams about WH last night, and a good night's sleep. Hopefully, whatever it was has worked its way out of my system. You know, I DO forgive my H for what he's done to me. He is mentally unstable and alcoholic on top of that, but my anger is his treatment of my children and grandchildren, or in their case, non-treatment. SA, you called me Mama-Bear the other day, and you are right where they are concerned.
My H is making a fool of himself, defying the Army about psychological testing, and will be 'outathere' in no time. It is certainly not the glorius end to a brilliant career that he dreamed of. I hurt for him over that. By the time he comes out of his fog, it'll be history, and what's on paper in your files are fact. The top page will be a mind blower.
