Mornin Lea I never thought H would go through with D. I am so sorry. I have had my hands full with non marriage stuff that has really kept me off line for the most part.
I've caught with your drama, what craziness!! My suggestion would be not to respond and also not to block texts. Some cell services the sender can tell if you ate blocking there text. I think she is prepared to take it to another level to reach you. Also don't read texts but make sure you saved them for evidence later.
As we talked about months ago, she seems to want to take your place. She accomplished that with H, but is not having the success she planned with the boys. I would like to think she is hot cause there's screws loose between the ears.
Gain you confidence soon to confront them both in front of your house and on your "turf". Intimidation appears to be her game and as long as she perceives you to be week she's gonna keep it up.
As for my situation, nothing has changed. My sons told me it feels as if they don't have a mom anymore. I thought that was pretty sad.
what are the statutory requirements for a harassment charge in your jurisdiction?
do the messages need to be threatening in order for a judge to issue a restraining order?
have you blocked her phone number, and she continues to contact via different phone numbers?
Have you asked her politely and possibly via certified mail, carbon copied to your attorney, to stop all communication and contact with you? and yet she has continued.
Has she ever touched or approached you physically in a way you did not feel comfortable with or feel threatened?
Hi Steve, thanks for the response. Things really did get out of hand so my L sent her a warning letter to her house (now XH's home as well.) If I receive anything further we will be filing for harrassement.
I will be keeping all the texts etc for evidence at our next court hearing.
No, she hasnt ever physically come near me. She uses intimidation - when they fetch my sons she gets out of the car and gives my sons a big hug etc. Makes a real scene for everyone to see.
Me 37 years young!! S11 S7 T22 M14 D final 13.05.2010 Today is the first day of the rest of my life!!! First post: D Day has arrived
So yes unfortunately it is all over. Just over a month now since D finalised. Still in a bit of shock but taking one day at a time. (Although officially it is over - not sure if reality has hit me yet.)
The drama continued and it got really out of hand. I never responded to any texts from her and only a few from XH. Eventually got a warning letter from L to tell her to stop. Hopefully this will work.
I have kept all the texts as evidence as well as phone calls etc.
Her latest trick is sending my sons texts and then chatting to them when my XH phones them each nite. It just isnt right. !!
Me 37 years young!! S11 S7 T22 M14 D final 13.05.2010 Today is the first day of the rest of my life!!! First post: D Day has arrived
Trying to be brave and stay strong. When they (yes everything is now they, he cant stop using the word my partner and we we we) fetch my sons from my house, she gets out of the car and makes a huge deal of saying hello to my sons. I dont go to the front door as just dont feel comfortable or strong enough as yet. Hopefully I will get there as I would love to say goodbye to my sons at the door, but need to be kind to myself and not put myself in a situation where I can be hurt even more.
I feel that she will approach me and I dont want that. I know that this may seem cowardice, but obviously she is alot brazen then me as she did have an A with a married man, destrouyed a family and then feels she can take my place.
Me 37 years young!! S11 S7 T22 M14 D final 13.05.2010 Today is the first day of the rest of my life!!! First post: D Day has arrived
G, she is definitely trying to replace me in all ways. I am not sure if I told you by my XH has now officially moved in with her (although I am sure he has been there for some time). They have created a nice bedroom there for my sons as well and has also organised everything for fathers day tm.
Yes she is using intimidation to get to me. She is texting and phoning my sons, getting out of the car and parading herself in front of my house when fetching my sons.
Just wish I was brave enough at the moment to say good bye to my sons at the door!!!
Me 37 years young!! S11 S7 T22 M14 D final 13.05.2010 Today is the first day of the rest of my life!!! First post: D Day has arrived
I've never posted to you before, but I have lots of experience with the OW calling, texting, contacting and being an all around bunny boiler. If the phones your sons have are ones that you purchased so you could get ahold of them when they are with their dad, then whos to stop you from changing the number on them and just simply turning them off when the boys are at home with you? It seems that their dad and his psycho-tart don't need to have access to the phones because when they are in use, the boys are with them. Just a thought. As far as her texting you or calling you, just keep them all and lock them so you can avoid deleting them. Not sure if it would be worth it, but you might want to get a 2nd phone as well and just keep the one you have now to use only w/XH.
She has NO reason to be calling, texting or talking to your sons for any reason. That your XH is allowing this just shows that he is mean-spirited and a weakling because he is allowing her to hurt his kids. Sad.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
She sounds like she's testing boundaries the same as any kid in elementary or junior high school; each time she does something obnoxious and you appear to accept it, she escalates by a small amount and tries again.
Quick prediction: you have now told her, with legal authority behind your declaration, exactly what you will do if she continues to harass you, yes?
Even money says she will begin with very small incursions you can't legally stop (such as, for now, continuing to show up at your door to get the boys) but will be unable to stop there. Even money says she will escalate again until she's doing exactly what you warned her not to do, and when you take exactly the legal action you warned her you were going to take, what will be her response?
"I can't believe you're doing this! Why would you do this to me, when I tried to be so nice to you? Why are you always against me? I'm just shocked that you're so mean-spirited!" Etc. etc. etc. The general theme will be complete shock and disbelief that you did something so impossibly surprising and unpredictable as doing exactly what you said you would do.
I see this in the classroom every day. "I ain't fixing to do no [censored] work, so what the [censored] ever." "You can cuss at the Principal in his office if he'll let you, or you study quietly in here, but you can't cuss in this classroom. Which one do you want to do?" "Man, [censored] you, you think I'm scared of you? Ain't nobody scared of your old ass, mother******. Shut up talking to me!" "OK, go to the office." "WHAT? I was just playin'! How you gonna send me to the office just for playin'? What kind of racist mother****** are you anyway?" "I didn't know you were playing, and it doesn't matter. You know the rules, and I reminded you to to curse in class. I told you that if you cursed you had to leave. Then you cursed, so now you have to leave."
When someone is testing you, you can never give them enough warning, and you can never deal with them as if they were trying to get along with you.
