H has been spewing for the last few days by text. Started again this morning. I told him I was not prepared to answer while he was spewing. He backed down and opened up a little. Said he was feeling so low and life was not worth living. I replied I understand he is upset but he knew where I was if he needed to talk to someone. He asked to visit this week.
Just remember to listen and validate. Remember that validating doesn't necessarily mean that you agree just that you agree H has a right to feel that way. Do not defend yourself. Let any spew just roll off your back.
Keep expectations at zero. Stay as detached as you can so you're not being sucked into your H's drama.
Thanks SA I have zero expectations as this is the third time this has happened this year. I know he is really depressed, as he is saying he has nothing to live for. Not only to me but to others too. This could be just sympathy though. I am not sure how to tell if he ahs hit Rock Bottom. All I know is OW is still living there. I have read though that when they start to awaken OW can still be around. Thanks for your input. HUGS
Hope, He hasn't hit rock bottom yet. As long as the ow is in the picture, she's helping to hold him afloat for now. He's still growing up and is still trying to find his way.
Continue as you have been.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hasn't 2010 been one of the suckiest years you can remember? Maybe there is some truth to that 2012 end of the world thing. Maybe God has a plan of where and with who we are supposed to be when that happens. Maybe God's lining up all the people going North and all the people going South for the bus trip to make it more manageable. LOL.
Seriously, this rock bottom thing is a killer. My H has given no indication of hitting rock bottom as of yet, but I know I am early into the game, as are you. And the OW? How long do you think they'll stay around being the buoy for someone in our H's condition. Any sane person would get sick of that after awhile. Correction, anyone who didn't have the history with the person we have. I don't know where their rock bottom is, but mine, I'm afraid, is in sight.
Latch on with both paws and hang on. As Betty Davis said, "It's going to be a bumpy ride."
Hasn't 2010 been one of the suckiest years you can remember? Maybe there is some truth to that 2012 end of the world thing. Maybe God has a plan of where and with who we are supposed to be when that happens.
Hi punkin, I read your posts here and there and the 2012 caught my eye. I have thought about that too, God's Plan. Well if you knew God's plan then you and I are way beyond everyone here. That's the way I think about it for me. Then I realize there is no way I can figure out what God's plan is. Over the last 6 months I have thought about the "This makes sense if 2012 is around the corner; no wonder I am going through this now." I want you to know you are not alone in that kind of thinking. Then realize this came into a time in my life that I get to look at myself and for the future. My kids need me to be the best I can be and I would not have been if this did not shake me up. Now I am looking at this being a blessing if I keep following the path that He is showing me. I can certainly look back and see the path I have gone through this. Try looking back after every month and see if that rings true for you in your growth.
An occasional text since H last visit, but nothing major to report. Thought it was going to be thrid time lucky, but seems it was just another 'touch and go'. Each time this happens though he does seem to open up a little more. really thought he was going to break down this last time, but he held it together. OW still there... do they ever give up???
Some op do not give up that easily. If this is the case for your h, he will have to find a way to cut the ties if and when he's ready.
He's moving along at his own pace and the touch and go situation is getting a little better...at least he's sharing a bit more w/you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
