You did quite well with your son and your H followed his lead. Very nice. Don't assume that your H took that message and applied it to situations where you go out of your way to help him and how he does or doesn't respond to you afterward. If you feel that he isn't responding the way you need him to you will have to revisit this. If he continues to neglect thanking you, you will begin to hold onto a resentment. There is no room in a relationship for festering resentment.
Even in piecing you have to take care of yourself first and others second. If you are a mess emotionally you will not be in prime condition to take care of the others.
You are doing so great. I am thinking good thoughts and sending prayers for the continued restoration of your family.
*hugs* ~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
I agree, 2 messages were sent at once. Also, you are right swl, there is no room for resentment! I will definitely have a discussion with him if he didnt take note this time
Looking forward to the weekend...I think, although I feel like my little girl is growing up way too fast. She got in her 8th grade graduation pics yesterday...she looks so grown. Tomorrow night is her 8th grade Dance (prom). Her "date's" mom called me last night to discuss the corsage and picking up my daughter and taking her and her son out to eat before the dance...I have to get off early tomorrow to help her get ready. I hear the next 4 years are gonna really fly by Gosh, Im getting old (LOL) Then hopefully my son will have his last scheduled ballgame...then we have lots of intentions to work on painting in the house....
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Well, had a wonderful weekend! My daughter had her 8th grade dance Friday night...she looked so beautiful and grown. I was so proud of her. Her "date" and his parents came to pick her up and take her out to eat. She was SO NERVOUS!! Funny thing though was when she came home after the dance, I believe she was done with her "date". She said he followed her around all evening and wouldnt go away! lol....guess she just got a taste of what it will be like when she is dating for real. haha. She had a good time otherwise!
My son told me this weekend that his dad told him the exOW was moving!!!! I had to hear this from my 9 year old. I asked why his dad told him this. He said they had stopped by the place where she works to give her some old newspapers....I guess to help with moving....then he told my son what the newspapers were for. I knew she had asked for them last week, but didnt know why. SO finally she is moving!!! yay....but Im thinking she will just be moving in with her boyfriend...which lives on the otherside of the street Maybe I can be hopeful and think they are both moving to a bigger place somewhere else! That would be great! I want to ask my H, but Im thinking I will find out sooner or later without asking him.
When do they ever just go away????
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
H came home last night very aggravated. Said it wasnt work, just other stuff....?? I asked to be sure he was not aggravated with me for some reason. He said "no, Im not aggravated with you and if I was, I probably wouldnt tell you I was".
??? Having some issues lately. I noticed on his fb a comment he made after he saw the exOW last week. He still has issues with her 2 years after breaking up with her.
Well, this saturday is our anniversary. 17 years. Wondering how it will go. Will I get an I love you on that day? I guess I should keep my expectations low. Have no idea what to get for him. I would like a new wedding ring myself (haha) doubt that would happen, but I can wish...havent been able to wear mine since i have lost so much weight.
Last edited by kissak; 05/25/1001:38 PM.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Kissak...keep your expectations at the appropriate level. Sorta a negative statement but still mostly true:
Quote:
G-d bless those who expect nothing for they will never be disappointed.
Enjoy life and accept with grace what the weekend brings. In advance, I hope this Saturday finds you in a better place than you were a year or more ago.
Hugs.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Kissak, While I agree that there is a time and place for lower expectations you also have to be very careful that you do not deny yourself your love language. This is once again where resentment can creep in. It may be time to seek help from a Marriage Counselor as the two of you work towards living happily and successfully together.
Have you checked into getting your wedding ring re-sized? That shouldn't be too expensive and something you can take care of yourself. If that isn't acceptable have you suggested to him that you would like a new wedding ring? Sometimes we, as women, expect grand gestures that will never cross the man's mind because we are wired differently.
You are wondering how Saturday will go: Have you had a conversation with him about the day? Make plans together to make it special.
*hugs* ~ swl
Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
Swl, I have mentioned the wedding ring sitch to him in the past...I really just want a new one...to symbolize our new marriage....or maybe Im just being selfish, I dont know, lol. I did try on my grandmother's wedding set that she gave me. Its very old, but finally fits! So, I may just start wearing those. I also agree that I need to talk to him about the love language, but this is where it gets hard for me...not really talking about it, but just bringing it up. We havent really talked about what we are going to do this weekend, but he did tell my son that they have to go shopping before the weekend...so, Im wondering what is on his mind. .....no expectations though. ha, I still have to get him something....no idea what thats gonna be!! Any suggestions??? !!!! lol
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I understand about the ring thing. That is something I too have been thinking I would like if we R. My H "lost" his ring (the man who prior to MLC almost never took it off) a couple of months pre-bomb. I am now wearing just an anniversary band and not my wedding/engagement set (though I do constantly rethink this).
I think new rings would be a great way to celebrate recommittment.
Me too trustingfaith I actually went out a couple of weeks ago and bought a very inexpensive anniversary band just to wear when we go out. It would be nice to start over with new rings though...although the other ones are sentimental...I may just check into getting them resized cuz they are waaaay to big for me now!! Which is a good thing
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Hi Kissak, hope everything is well with you. BTW it's not very expensive to have your wedding bands re-sized and polished. I did it last year and I think the jeweler only charged me $25 for each.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Gosh, Im getting old (LOL) Then hopefully my son will have his last scheduled ballgame...then we have lots of intentions to work on painting in the house.... 