my H has said on multiple occasions that he feels separation is what's best for both of us, because in the long run, ultimately we will both be happier this way. why do people say this to one another? and what does it even mean to say, i think it will be easier to start our lives over, break up the life we've built together, put ourselves in financial jeopardy, wear this hurt on our hearts for the rest of our lives and move on, than to commit to making our marriage work, forgive one another, and move forward?
anyone else dealing with "it's best for us in the long run?" it's not even, i love you but i'm not in love with you. that would be better than this ambiguous line!
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
I had that one too, but tbh its just the same as ILYBINILWY its just another bit of their WAS speech. Yes they do seem to not mind putting every thing else in jeopardy to get their own way! (()) as its painful what ever it is they say!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
The words used are less important than the message, yes it is the same. Best thing to do is allow the space or you'll chase him right out the door even faster. In the meantime do things to better yourself so either he realizes what he's missing out on or at least you'll land on your feet if he doesn't.
H28 | WAW24 | S8 | D5 | SD2 | D1 | T6 | M1 My Story | My Motivation
it's all i can do to keep myself from asking him when he was gifted with ESP so that he could see into the future to say that this really will be best for both of us...
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
I had that one too, but tbh its just the same as ILYBINILWY its just another bit of their WAS speech. Yes they do seem to not mind putting every thing else in jeopardy to get their own way! (()) as its painful what ever it is they say!
LR-
i've noticed a lot of WAW on this forum, but not too many posts about a WAH. my H is a big time WAH. this is the second time in the 2 years we've been married he's wanted to walk away (but for different reasons each time). is this the first time your H has wanted to separate? i keep hearing "how many times will you let him do this to you?" (we broke up 2 times before getting married, too)...but i don't know how to answer that because none of my family/friends see my marriage from my perspective...
Me30 H29 M2.5 T5 H moved out 1/23/2010 H wants signed agreement 3/30/2010 ...feeling hopeless
Yes this was totally out of the blue! we have had bad patches before but never did he just walk out when given the chance, our C suggested a trial separation and bang he was gone leaving me totally hanging on a limb..
I have put a link to my first post although Im know in piecing thankfully we are together again all though its going to be a long old haul..
it's all i can do to keep myself from asking him when he was gifted with ESP so that he could see into the future to say that this really will be best for both of us...
Originally Posted By: MarkG's WAW
I don't want when I am done our lives will be better u can't relie on the future u have 2 go with the now. There is no pause button on life it is constantly playing and we have been stuck on skip for too long
Don't ask questions about the future. I kept saying when I graduated tech school things would be better, obviously she wasn't worried about that and I'm going to guess neither is he. Logic and reasoning won't solve things, showing them how you can be at your best will.
H28 | WAW24 | S8 | D5 | SD2 | D1 | T6 | M1 My Story | My Motivation
I have a WAH too - it's been nine months. Just so you don't feel alone. We're finally piecing, occasional references to "if we reconcile" but he just doesn't know. It's awful. It's true you can't chase although you will want to. They totally don't understand what we need and to say they do is just justification or ego talking. Ignore it.
