New thread as I need to comply with lenthyness on this site.
I have a lot of studying to get in this weekend. I will not be taking my day trip I was thinking of taking tomorrow due to job cicumstances. But that is ok. The job has to come first.
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
That's a pretty long list of positives about your W.
Okay, let's see your list of positives about yourself.
I am a great dad. I love my kids and my W. I am trying to improve my career. I have friends that like me. I have molds that need continuing breaking out of. I want to enjoy life. I just tend to let things bog me down more than I should. I am trying to build my faith and commitment to God, my kids, my W, my M, my M, my M, my M, and my family. I will help people out any way that I can. I care about people. I try to please God even though I admit that I fail at times.
I don't know. Positives about me. I dress better than I used to. I love sushi. I like football. I enjoying getting out and getting away to other places and visiting with people. I do enjoy trying new things when the opportunity presents itself.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I think people care about you and can see objectively what is really going on here. W throws you a few crumbs for whatever reason (guilt, motive) and you fall back into the same thing she needs you to be right now. When she doesn't need you to conform then she blows you off. She is living her life as a D woman. How long do you plan on staying this way? Eventually she is going to file and D you. I think people are right in she is getting HER ducks in a row financially so she doesn't owe you CS etc.
PLEASE PLEASE Kevin...start standing up to her...not for a change in her..but YOU!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
I am not sure where my opportunities are to stand up to her here recently. The movie is for the kids tomorrow. She sat next to me at the ceremony today. To ask her to sit somewhere else would have been rude. I can't say anything about her canceling the health isurance on me. That is her choice.
I did stand up to her last weekend about D8's birthday dinner. I don't want to be rude to her and tell her not to talk to me unless it is kid related even though that may be how I feel at times.
What is she doing to me personally that I should be standing up to? Nothing that I can tell.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
TGIF!! Oh wait, that means just more work for me this weekend. lol. Thats ok. I happily accept.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Redo the list from the perspective of one of your friends. What would they write about you?
I guess I need to find a friend and ask them what they see. That is a good point Stuck.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I love her for her even though I get frusturated with her actions at times. She is fun loving towards most. She is outgoing and enjoys life. Her life is actually going great for her. Her career definitely helps that out. Before she got her job that helped launch all of this, she did stress a lot about money and took us into debt. But now this has allowed her to breathe in that area and really take life by the horns. She is a positive person. She is smart. She is confident in herself. She is God's daughter and it is my responsibility to treat her that way no matter how hurt or frusturated I may become. She is attractive. Apparently she gets hit on all the time and she has built up quite a social network.
> Is it me? Or is it really everyone else? lol.
No. you are doing everything right. perfect as a matter of fact. and what you wrote about your wife makes alot of sense.
If you think about it you are an excellent husband. You have given your wife the opportunity to experience life on her own and succeed through her own efforts; allowed her to explore her sexuality how she wants with whom she wants without threats, demands, or attempts to guilt her; you have stepped back while she "sought to find herself," in fact, you have even encouraged her and if necessary offered to financially support her.
excellent. all the while, you have stood back and have done what you have felt right for yourself. what is wrong with that?
Everyone else is wrong.
There are alot of people on this site that should be more like you. They are torturing their spouses with pressure, threats of divorce, guilting them, using children to make them feel bad about themselves, when all they are is human.
I read today where someone wrote how it makes them sick how the WAS can destroy a family without guilt for their own satisfaction. Ouchy. How do you know they do not feel guilty? All these people are trying to do is be happy in this short period of time we are on this earth. Who has the right to tell another how they must act or what they must do to be happy? That is one of the main reasons the other person is fleeing their presence and to continue to impose this self-righteous attitude on them they will find in the end their spouses won't return.
Good for you, Kevin. Keep doing what you are doing. In the end it all comes out I'm sure.
