WAW is still with OM

[wifeleft2009]

Well my last thread got locked so well here is a new one

very short recap WAW had an A and was looking to date this much younger OM for the better part of the year and well as of dec? she got here wish.. both got into drugs and well a whole messed up life.. she went/is going through rehab. she is also diag. BI-Polar (just a train wreck right now)


Well the point of this new thread is to continue my journey for others to see and to help get some of my sometimes random thoughts written out to see.



so I will start with this past sunday I noticed on FB my BIL wrote his grandmother was in the hospital.. About an hour later W texts me the same info, I told her I wished them the best, she kept texting back and telling me more and more about the situation. I guess her grandma is getting a pace maker now.

I got more info from BIL as to where I can send flowers (we are still pretty good friends and have hung out a few times since W left)
I sent the flowers to her grandma .. (as a note..she was very upset W left and tried her best to get W to rethink what she was doing) anyway I decided to send the flowers from the kids and leave my name off the card. I figured IM not trying to win W back through this jesture and just having the kids names will be enough to let her know she is not forgotten.

anyway sunday night W sent a text saying to tell the kids she misses them alot loves them and yet again I should have them call her monday night..

well tonight I have the kids call her and although W seemed to be having phone troubles they talked for some time!! I also texted W that I wanted to drop the kids off a little sooner this weekend since I have some plans that I need to be back for... W was very nice and told me no prob just let her know what time when I figure out when I need to drop them off!

I find all this odd W is being so nice to me again! even after I went off on her

[kjensen]

You never know what will trigger a MLCer to be nice, or angry, or whatever.. Take it for what it is, DB away..detach and let her work her way through this mess.

[wifeleft2009]

well W has texted me everyday so far and keeps texting until i stop. lots of thanks stuff from her.. (I texted her once but she kept texting) little odd.

so tonight it started out with her saying her grandma says thanks for the flowers (I sent in the kids names)
W does want me to have the kids on the 30th which is her weekend...(guess she has some plans of some sort)
she was talking about a split day?? and switching a weekend idk well I told her I was confused the way she wrote it out. so she asked if she could talk to me tomarrow night. I said ya ok.. I was thinking of saying no.. but for the kids sake I guess why not. plus she said I could drop them off earlier friday so i can get to my plans sooner.


I wonder if she is finally missing the kids.. because she wanted me to tell the kids she loves them everyday but last night. (I can hope she is getting better and wanting her kids right?)

[Cadet]

she is also diag. BI-Polar

Is she on meds for this?

If not RUN AWAY away. Detach Detach Detach, NC NC NC. All the texting and talk is to cause drama which you need to AVOID!!!!

I know more about bipolar than anyone here. GET AWAY!!!!!!

She needs to get on meds or have them checked!
Good luck.

[wifeleft2009]

she is also diag. BI-Polar

Is she on meds for this?

If not RUN AWAY away. Detach Detach Detach, NC NC NC. All the texting and talk is to cause drama which you need to AVOID!!!!

I know more about bipolar than anyone here. GET AWAY!!!!!!

She needs to get on meds or have them checked!
Good luck.

ya, she is on meds,

[wifeleft2009]

well W and me had a fight over the phone and text saturday (about her needing to switch a weekend around and me telling her I could just take them no switching was needed) sounded "controlling",she got into "us" talk and tried to say I still wanted her back????(I dont even talk to her much and when I do its about the kids and its returning her calls or texts)
we agreed to cool it until today, of course she sent a text at 7:30 am which I was asleep.. (I had a very very late night) so I texted her back at 11:30 when I got it. we exchanged a few texts nothing bad just the normal kid(s) stuff and I wanted a game back..and I told her I wanted to talk to her when she dropped the kids off..

So she dropped the kids off and she seemed reluctant to hang around and talk.. but she opened up ALOT we talked about everything she of course brought up "US" talks and she seemed to settle down.. she cried alot and says she only cries when she talks to me or talks about me. ???
she admits Im not controling,

I guess there is so much to take in. she did say she doesnt know what love really is.. she really thinks her BF and her are connected so well but we did talk about how we were that close (I guess she forgot) her BF kept texting and I am sure it was him who even called.. she said he was upset she was still here with me. she ended up staying for 2 hours talking we even just talked like old times about nothing. but he kept texting (boy he sure has no trust)

when she was leaving she kept looking around and I kinda wanted a hug but I was in my t-shirt so I stopped in the garage as she was walking away crying still she turned back and looked at me then went back to me and said idk if I should but and put her arms out and we hugged a bit then she walked away crying to where I could hear her

[wifeleft2009]

any helpful thoughts? Im not sure how to take alot of this. W seems to talk openly about these things.. is this good or bad? I see so many other posts where the WAS wont even show a hint of feelings for LBS or any "us" talks getting brought up.. anyhelp Im confused

[sleeper]

She talks openly about it because she is verbalizing what she herself is trying to figure out. It's not good or bad it just is. She knows you want to work things out with her, bad new is she sees this as pressure even though you aren't pressuring her. They catch a lot of grief/guilt/pressure from others, like her grandmother, and blame us for that angst.

There is nothing you can do to help her but give her space. She won't figure this out next week, next month or probably not even next year (sorry). Mine also voiced caring for me and that she would always love me even as she contacted a lawyer and divorced me.

The OM is messed up too. My X's OM (now husband) was very insecure and jealous of me. Sometimes I think he still is.

[wifeleft2009]

ya, I would think the age differance would have played a big part and caused them to split. but IDK its a bit confusing because she knows she knows she needs to do differant things to get better.. she knows she is confused, and she complains she now has no life and sits around mostly.. even her way out of the house she kept stopping and looking around. asked if D and me play tennis yet as she saw my racket on the mudroom wall. If I didnt know better I would say she wanted to stay. she seemed happy here when she was not talking about "us"

[bluerain]

Hi WL! I had some trouble finding you! Im sure that dating an 18 year old boy is trying for a grown woman, especially when he throws fits like a child(which he is!), I wonder how their next interaction played out.

You cant worry about whether she wants to stay or any of that, really its not productive. What your doing seems to be working for YOU and your kids and thats what we need to focus on right now. Maybe some day she will want to get better enough to do the things that she needs to do, but thats all up to her. Let her get sad and see what shes missing maybe reality will set in at some point, maybe not.