Previous post continued: We still have sporadic discussions about H's attitudes & feelings about sex & intimacy. In ML, we are about where we were a few yrs. ago-once every week or two, sameoldsameold. Variety now is limited by age-related realitiy. He can function with or without pill, but either way, loses his E. Dr. made suggestion & I could tell H was like "eek! no!" I've explained the mechanics of the, um, appliance, but until yesterday he never would talk about it let alone agree to try it. We'll see. His confort zone is very narrow. Since he was talking, I asked about his claim that he's never masturbated. "What did you do when you were aroused on a date but didn't act on it?" He said he went home & went to sleep. (says he's never heard of blue balls) Said he's never been so aroused or horny that he needed the release. Claims he never was scolded, threatened, caught as a kid. If that's true, I guess I've been trying to turn on a light switch that isn't connected to a power line. Sad. Depressing. If there ever was a time I wanted to be a hypnotist, this is it. Both to explore his past & to plant a new idea LOL-but not that funny. He enjoys sex but never seems wildly enthusiastic. He'll initiate-even during the week once in awhile-but never in such a way that seems like craving. Always asking if I want to not telling me he wants to. How does a guy turn out this way? Especially w/brothers who were notorious hounds in their day. We ML. We talk a little. Way better than 2 1/2 yrs ago. If I find that special hypnotist, I'll share! Have a good weekend, Jayce
me: 66 H:60 2 adult sons 2 grandsons adult daughter deceased 5/05 me:Part time trainer H: plant suprv.
I asked about his claim that he's never masturbated.
Yeah we had the MB discussion on the SSM forum ages ago. LD's don't masturbate at all or very little if they do. Easiest way to tell if someone is LD is to ask them about MB. If they don't they are.
W has said, "Why would I touch myself? I have you to do that for me H." Also early in our R I wanted to see her touch herself, "Eew no way."
It should have been an omen of the way things would end up for us but I was too in love at that point and liked everything else about her. I'll have to find the post with the list of the signs that your potential mate might be LD. If I remember right every single point fits her.
---- It is way better than before and that is at least an improvement. There is feeling to our ML, no more chore sex.
---- You want to hear something funny Jayce? I'm sure I have the "appliance" that you speak of. Except I have never shown it to her because I'm afraid it would put her off. "What is THAT!", is my feared response from her.
HAHAHA! Besides the little stretchy "appliance" there's the vibrator. I'd like to try introducing one into foreplay but I'm scared to death he'll freak SO bad he'll never come near me again AND realize something else....& I have no idea what his reaction would be to THAT! I'm also afraid that at some future time if he's really not in the mood when I want to ML, he'll throw the idea in my face & tell me to use one & that would just about kill me. Even if a crack like that came from embarrassment that he feels he's inadequate it would still kill me.
When he told me years ago that he never masturbated, I just figured it was another one of the things he refuses to talk about for fear of ridicule or something. Somewhere I saw a list of behaviors that indicate LD, but I've forgotten where, or what all was on the list.
Well, another weekend is here, another chance to have some success. We may be visiting his relatives next weekend & staying at divorced male cousin's home. There's a sure fire recipe for NO sex whatsoever. Did I mention I've listened to the sex jokes these guys make & in light of their behavior, I think the jokes are smoke screens to make each other think they're hot stuff? Ahhhhh, crap.
I had a good time riding my horse in the 4th of July parade. She is a great little horse. Some of my pals have horses that still act up even tho they've had them for years. Have a good weekend. It is good to 'talk' to you again, jayce
me: 66 H:60 2 adult sons 2 grandsons adult daughter deceased 5/05 me:Part time trainer H: plant suprv.
Uhh... I have the stretchy appliance with a vibrator in it as well... lol We actually used that one, one time, but it didn't work for her. It wouldn't make contact at all (maybe it was just our position that night?) Actually the one with the vibrator is more of a gag gift thing that she got for free when she ordered a bigger bottle of Liquid Silk online.
The other ones I bought on my own and well, I'm chicken to show her. duh Even the other one was awkward enough.
Yeah we just got back from getting our daughter registered for her freshmen year at the big, well known university in Texas, Texas A&M. We are so proud of her getting in there, it's not easy. She's one of 8,000 incoming freshmen and something like 27,000 applied.
Anyway sigh... no sex... never on a trip, which I don't understand. I guess there is so much discomfort for her with unfamiliar surroundings that it never happens. So I never look forward to trips.
It will be an empty nest in about a month and I'm so afraid that it will just make it obvious that things will never get any better than they are right now for us... God I hope not, but I don't get a good warm and fuzzy about what is ahead for us.
The "stretchy appliance with vibrator" works well on a finger, too. It's good on the middle finger with the vibrating bullet against your palm . . . it doesn't take much imagination to figure out how it's used that way. You've probably tried it, but if you haven't, you should.
Thanks for the idea, I never thought to try it that way.
On a related note... many many years ago I bought a vibrator and some lingerie to spice things up. No special occasion just something fun. She wore the lingerie. Would not allow the vibe to be part of our ML. Although she did claim that she did use it on her own occasionally. Never while I was there however.
Would not allow the vibe to be part of our ML. Although she did claim that she did use it on her own occasionally. Never while I was there however.
Cinco
See, now I just don't get women like this. Sorry, I just don't. But then again, I never bought into the whole sex for procreation thing, or the women's duty thing either. (and FTR, I've only been with H) WTH is wrong with pleasuring yourself??? I'll never get I guess.
Now, I'm one of those mid life women who in a good week with no commitments, sick kids, etc. would love it every day and 2 on Sunday's. Yes, we do exist.
However, I'm also one who if H isn't in the mood has no problem turning to B.O.B. (battery opperated boyfriend for those new to the acronym).
While SillyOldBears suggestion is a good one, you can also use a small bullet vibe while actually ...eh....uh..... "in". If you press it against you, you will both feel it.
The bullets are less intimidating too, since they just vibrate without looking like...........
It does sound like W has a mental block to sex....does she read novels with sex scenes??? Sandra Brown is a good author, not smut novels, but good novels with GREAT love scenes.
It does sound like W has a mental block to sex....does she read novels with sex scenes??? Sandra Brown is a good author, not smut novels, but good novels with GREAT love scenes.
Maybe buy her a novel?
Thanks for the bullet idea too Sox.
Well our ST did have her reading romance novels (bodice rippers) to help get her juices flowing so to speak. W thought they were totally ridiculous. I think she even got several Sandra Brown ones. She did read them though and to her credit things did improve somewhat for us from that "exercise".
We were somewhat matched early in our marriage then we went in totally opposite directions. The more I wanted it the less she did. The less she wanted it the more it became an obsession for me... it became a vicious cycle for us.
"What is 
