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Joined: Jul 2002
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newton0 Offline OP
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...and I'm very nervous. She has been texting/emailing me fairly regularly with largely topical convo, but I have given her a lot of space. In the holiday photos she sent me, I noticed she did not have her wedding ring on, which hurt me tremendously.

I'm not sure whether to keep the conversation topical, talk about what our path forward is (R talk), or simply follow her lead. Am I supposed to act totally happy, or tell her that I think about her constantly & miss her terribly?

One friend suggested that I simply tell her I would like to fly up to see her & see what her response is.

Any thoughts/suggestions would be appreciated!


Me: 46
Ex: 38
Married: 10
Together: 12
No Children
Separated (again): 09/06/13
Divorced: 02/27/15
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,240
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Originally Posted By: djhartm
I'm not sure whether to keep the conversation topical, talk about what our path forward is (R talk), or simply follow her lead.


Follow her lead. Don't bring up the R unless she brings it up first.

Originally Posted By: djhartm
Am I supposed to act totally happy, or tell her that I think about her constantly & miss her terribly?


How about in the middle? Just be upbeat and positive; don't come across as needy or clingy, as those are not attractive qualities.


Me: 44, Wife: 39
M: 17 years T: 20 years
Bomb on 08/25/09
1/13/10: MC started
1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs
8/28/10: Wife moved out
No talk of D, no movement

"Every day is another chance to get it right."
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 270
newton0 Offline OP
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Trent, thanks for your feedback, you have contributed a lot of valuable advice to this forum!

I went back & read the DR/DB protocols, and as tough as it may be, I will do my best to follow them.

It just about killed me to see the Christmas photos she sent me without her ring on & looking stunning. frown

She did say 'thank you' for thinking about her as she received her gift from me, but I was hoping for more.

This sucks, but I have to think that this may be what she was going through when I was emotionally & physically unavailable to her.

<sigh>


Me: 46
Ex: 38
Married: 10
Together: 12
No Children
Separated (again): 09/06/13
Divorced: 02/27/15
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,240
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Offline
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Originally Posted By: djhartm
This sucks, but I have to think that this may be what she was going through when I was emotionally & physically unavailable to her.


Keep that in mind. Your wife is probably confused and hurting as well.


Me: 44, Wife: 39
M: 17 years T: 20 years
Bomb on 08/25/09
1/13/10: MC started
1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs
8/28/10: Wife moved out
No talk of D, no movement

"Every day is another chance to get it right."

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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