until you separate out the emotional side of this and the business side of this then I think you will continue to "spin" occasionally...
bottom line..until Dan decides to come back you can "want, wish, hope" till the cows come home..he has never shown any concrete actions that he does not want a Divorce..I personally believe he's such a weak little boy that there would be no way that he could ever go file on his own..my god..he's so weak he can't even sign the papers that have been presented to him..
Truly..I can't figure out why you want him...from what you have said and described..he's a serial adulterer....and his continued I'm in, I'm out, almost borders on abuse..psycological anyway..it's cruel
Last edited by M from Tennessee; 01/13/1011:51 AM.
I used to post to all the time, but moved to another board because I actually did end up finalizing divorce. I still followed you because I hoped maybe you worked it out, but at the same time thought Dan would never change. Your Dan was my Theodore. Let me tell you something, honey. Dan is a weak Puss. Much like everything else, he doesn't have the balls to either end the marriage or work on his faults. You once again have to do the heavy lifting and who needs that. Let it go. Put the weakling out of his ,arriage and go forward with or without his signature. He has done nothing to indicate he wants to be married and more importantly his actions have done nothing to show change. I went through the affairs and I didn't want to let go. But the fact is when H left he continued to see who I am sure was the person he was cheating on me with. About 6 months into the seperation he started sleeping with me, this is of course before ow was confirmed for sure. Point is he hadn't changed. Because he was now doing to her what he did to me. I ended it for good, but I would bet the farm if I wanted to sleep with him tomorrow he would be game. Ever wonder why Dan has only dealt with younger women or women with children or older women? It speaks to his maturity. He is weak so the only way he can feel strong is by dealing with women who "need him", but who he knows he never has to be responsible to. Women with children have there children so they don't make the men priority which means less accountability. Younger women usually have other stuff going on like partying so again less accountability.
Living in limbo hoping for some small sign is no way to live. You are young and your kids are young. You can start over. Put the focus on your kids and Dan. One thing my ex told me when I found out about his indiscretions was, you will never trust me again so I don't see this working. He was right and who wants to live with someone they will always second guess. Resents build and precious time is wasted. You only hav e one life and you certainly don't want to look back and know you wasted it on somebody who didn't waste his life on you. Your kids will understand. Finally I heard today that we all have to walk through the ring of fire at some point in life. You can't control what your ring will be or when you will have to walk through it. I must say if this is mine then I am avery blessed woman.
My appointment with the counselor is for Wednesday next week. Can't wait to get started!
My attorney emailed me today. Asked if Dan had signed the petition yet. I told him the truth, I didn't know. He said to ask Dan and then we could just go through the courts and push it through without him, force a hearing in front of a judge...
Good day planned. Taking Sydney for a girls' day. We are going out to lunch and then to the stage production of "Little House on the Prairie" based on the book, not the tv show...
However, the actress who played Laura (Melissa Gilbert) from tv is playing the role of Ma! Weird...
Going to be fun! My favorite series growing up, I read and re-read it every year.
First--great time at the play!! It was so much fun! Melissa Gilbert was great at Ma but the actress playing Laura had a much larger role and was outstanding! She was very true to what I always pictured Laura to be like from reading the books. Sydney was as well behaved as a 3 yr old can be for a 3 hour production...
We went out for ice cream after and she loved it. Now she has joined her "Brubby" at my parents' for a sleepover so I can catch up on work. They are so awesome for doing that two Saturdays in a row!!
CA and I traded a couple texts last night, not sure what is up there...maybe he just wants a pen pal. Sounded like this D was very sudden and rough on him (they got married after 6 months together and she left only a few months into the marriage), plus he met her on Match...anyway I can see where he doesn't want to move fast but hey neither do I, I just want to go out once in a while and laugh and have fun!
Re. Dan, I texted him on 1/9 (day after he left for Denver) and asked what the deal was re. paperwork, since he had said he would get it to me Thursday 1/7 before he left town on 1/8 and he didn't...
Never got a response. He has called many times since then to talk to the kids, they usually hand me the phone and I say goodbye and hang up and he has not mentioned it.
Last night I called for the first time and he was literally in the grooming chute with a steer. I told him I wouldn't interrupt but I did need to talk to him before Monday per some information I had from the atty. He said he would call me back tomorrow on the drive back.
Basically I just need to know if he got it signed or not so I can tell the atty. The reason I am not just forcing a hearing is that would require more of my atty time and therefore more of my money. So if I can just get the papers from Dan it will be easier all around.
Kids with my parents overnight. Stayed up till 3:30 entering 5 months of checking into Quicken. Partly to make taxes easier, partly to get caught up which is BBJ's 2010 Mission: Organized/Intentional Living!!
Boot camp starts tomorrow at 5:30 am. Getting excited and anxious...hope I am not too badly out of shape to keep up!
Bought a 3-drawer plastic shelf-unit thing to stick in the bottom of my closet. I only have one dresser as the other one was damaged in our move (btw the bedroom set I have consists of 1 headboard and 1 dresser, both 16 year old particle board!)...
Anyway filled the drawer thing with workout pants, workout tops, and sports bras so each night I can pull out what I need and be ready. Before the workout stuff was all shoved into one drawer in the dresser and it was a mess.
Can't wait to get the tax return and buy a real, craftsman-mission style bedroom set!
I love craftsman style. As a matter of fact, that is what my bedroom set is also. I had never had a matching set until I moved here to GA and refused to drag the old one along. Something I actually put my foot down on. LOL!
You sound so good BBJ! Keep it up. I'm sure the boot camp will be difficult at first but you are such a motivated, go getter that I don't foresee any problem with you getting into the swing of it quickly.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
What's going on girl.... I know boot camp but I know Dan is back so what's the story?
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
