Can you change the ticket to go somewhere else? You could take a nice trip somewhere that would be a treat for you! Can the dates of the ticket be changed?
If you are going to seriously consider going- and Im not sure that it would be a good idea- you need to be very, very aware that he might reject you. Or be normal and sweet to you while other people are around, and then be a total jerk when the two of you are alone. It seems to be pretty much the standard behavior of the Walk Away Spouse. Its how my husband acted, and how I have heard countless others describe their spouses.
Heres, how I see it. Right now, he doesnt want anything to do with you, unless it is on his terms--- is this true?
So, if you go there when he obviously isnt that excited about it, you are going to be pressuring him, and forcing him to be nice to you, and see you- even when its only his friends around- and he will resent you for it.
And, I think that it would be a major mistake for you to even attempt to see him before you get some therapy or meds on board so that you can be calm and rational. As upset as I see you get on here when you are only talking to him through texting and emailing, whats going to happen if he is nasty to you in person when you are in a strange place with none of your regular support system?
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
yes u are right i have a friend in korea other then my husband im thinking of not going to go see him im thinking of going to japan its a two hr.
flight from there and hes willing to go wit me and hes helping me cope with this know...
some what but yes i know and no i cant change them or get my money back ... and yes only on his terms...
just dont want to lose that money but from her till then alot can happen i see my therapis on Tus. so ....
but i was reading up on the MLC for dummies .... and when i read it can i tell u something i think hes doing the same thing to me the same remady ....
from there hes use some of that thats on there do u think hes trying to do the same ... for maybe detaching ...
when i read that i was like half of this is geting done to me...
Me: 35 yrs H: 35 yrs D: 18 yrs Married: 21 yrs H is over seas : July. 2009, "not happy now..confused" "don't know what I want" "I love you, but not in love with you" Currently: confused and lonely
I dont think that hes doing any of it intentionally. I think that is just the way that his path has gone- we are the ones who need coaching to detach, they seem to be experts at it!
I agree that a lot can change between now and then. You could always tell him that you are going to Japan if he brings the trip up, and he is welcome to come visit, but this is your trip. That might give you some more control over where things are going.
So are you reading a book written for someone who is going through a MLC, or written for that persons family? I think that the way that people move through life crises, mid-life or otherwise, is very similar, so regardless of exactly what is going on with your H, you should be able to get some good info from the book.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
well hello he pop it out he said he went to get legal today to find out about filing for divorce he asked me if it was going to be consent or non consent....
he killed me there i have not answerd him its been bad this would be the worst...
i dont have no more tears to cry no more .... and i have never been in this before with the big D...
i think ive giving up on everything i mean everything...
my baby girl is acting just like him now treating me the same as him...
nothing has changed ive been alone and i have not said or done nothing... but he still hasent change
what now i dont know im weak an scared ...
Me: 35 yrs H: 35 yrs D: 18 yrs Married: 21 yrs H is over seas : July. 2009, "not happy now..confused" "don't know what I want" "I love you, but not in love with you" Currently: confused and lonely
i dont know if he can do that from korea or does it have to be civil ive never been in this before dont know how thi goes...
Me: 35 yrs H: 35 yrs D: 18 yrs Married: 21 yrs H is over seas : July. 2009, "not happy now..confused" "don't know what I want" "I love you, but not in love with you" Currently: confused and lonely
i sleeped all night he text me saying he was on yahoo. i did not answer or got on im i doing the right thing....
its been a battle this last month and this one so far i dont know what to do ive been hiding from everything and my self to im trying hard not to crash again....
i did on x-mass and newyears when he did not call or nothing im so so alone i feel like my world is caving in on me and im trying to jump and i cant im stuck..
i was to leave today to see him im not going he still thinks that i am after i told him i was not ...
is that why he said the D word dont know why but can i say something is it me going throw this MLC or him ...
ive been reading up on it and everything hes doing to me is from a book of what ive been ready like if hes trying to detach to like me the hard part is hes doing it all right...
and not me i need help i need a comback for my self hes doing him i need to do me me me me ...
can anyone help me im trying to do the right thing i am im stubern i guess and im not trying to do it on perpuse im trying so hard to hide my feelings and emotions but there getting in my way ....
Me: 35 yrs H: 35 yrs D: 18 yrs Married: 21 yrs H is over seas : July. 2009, "not happy now..confused" "don't know what I want" "I love you, but not in love with you" Currently: confused and lonely
Me: 35 yrs H: 35 yrs D: 18 yrs Married: 21 yrs H is over seas : July. 2009, "not happy now..confused" "don't know what I want" "I love you, but not in love with you" Currently: confused and lonely
i feel so alone and scared ... why i dont know i just do ... never heard of the D word and he put it out there ...
Me: 35 yrs H: 35 yrs D: 18 yrs Married: 21 yrs H is over seas : July. 2009, "not happy now..confused" "don't know what I want" "I love you, but not in love with you" Currently: confused and lonely
