Sunshine. It seems that when you gave him is space, he came closer. So that is what you wanted...but now you feel like he's taking you for granted? isn't that just open to interpretation?
If you don't want him to rely that you are available then don't be so available. But I don't get this-it seems like game-playing and a power issue.
M44 H46 T21 Married 16y D14 D12 Bomb 12/08(EA), (PA/Separation)1/09 to 5/09 Home/MC 5/09 to 12/09 Leaves 12/09 Files for Divorce Divorce final 6/30/10.
Basically, you are the pursuer and he is the distancer. I think the book can really help you adapt to and understand the relationship so as to make it more fullfilling for you (and for him too).
It will also help you decide what kind of distancer he is. Elusive man, moderate distancer or the hopeless vanishing man. One of the biggest mistakes you could make, if your guy is a vanishing man, is to hang on to him with the idea that he will eventually change or agree to get married if you love him enough. Vanishing man will always be unpredictable and emotionally unavailable most of the time.
Renee, it sounds like he is playing games with you..... If he wants time away, give it to him, but make plans for yourself as well. He needs to understand that he can't have it both ways. Personally, I would back way off if I were you.
Well guys he called tonight and told me he wanted to take me to a movie and dinner on sat. What the heck? I told him I thought he wanted a whole weekend alone so I was gonna make plans. He said ok if you dont want to go to a movie I will go by myself thats ok, but I would like to go with you. Guys, I really just think he wanted to see if I would give him his weekend, just in case he wanted it, and to make sure he is still in control....I think he has controlling issues. BH I dont think he is playing games with me. It could be that maybe he thought about having the whole weekend to himself then decided he wanted to see me on sat, or maybe he didnt want a whole weekend in the first place and he just wanted to see what I would say. I should have turned him down, but I didnt. I am no good at playing games.
Renee, everyone has commented on this, you just don't agree with what is being said. If you wish to stay with this guy, good luck and I wish you all the best. I just think they are some major issues here, do be careful.
I have to tell you all that I found out my ex is having a baby girl with his new wife that he has only know for all of 5 months. I didnt think it would hurt me as much as it is, I try to hide it, even from myself. I try not to think about it. I wanted another child with him for the longest time but he would not give me one. After 1 yr and 4 months since he left me, I thought I would be completely free of my feelings of hurt,,,,,so tell me why it hurts so much STILL!
It is going to take a long time to get over the hurt of what you ex did. Even after 5 years apart from my ex some small things still sting a little. You just have to pick yourself up and try not to think about it. Put all that in the past and enjoy the present. You have been coming out of your shell and enjoying life so keep moving forward.
Take that down day and spin it into a good one. Do something for yourself.
