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#1861334 10/24/09 01:12 AM
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Coach, two quick questions:

1) Where can I find your Film Study - What Worked?
I had printed it out early on and read it often. Can't find it now and. alas, my S,31 (Newly LBH) could use it.

2) You kinda know my sitch. At the very least you read my anguished recap tonight (God Bless you, too). When it is as bleak and unchanging as mine has been and wife and I are mediating headlong to a fast D (12/28), Is one kidding oneself at that point by continuing to try and, like Churchill said,"Never, never, never give up!", or at some point does it become masochistic and self-flagellating and truly time to just throw in the towel?

Heavy question, I know.

Thanks


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1861714 10/25/09 04:46 AM
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bump


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1861827 10/25/09 03:05 PM
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re-bump.


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1861927 10/25/09 08:12 PM
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bump again


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1862017 10/26/09 02:12 AM
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1. Film Study - What worked
I don't know how to find it. It was a "sticky" here for a while. When I get to work in the am I can send the link to the page I use (still use) to navigate here.


2. Define throwing in the towel. I don't think throwing in the towel is a confident move neither is standing still. Prepare yourself to have a successful outcome either way it goes. Move forward, lead on.


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach #1862039 10/26/09 02:36 AM
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Thanks.

Throwing in the towel: Accepting inevitability of divorce, no longer bemoaning it, no more fantasies of 'maybe she will turn around''. Admitting the obvious: that she's a good year ahead of me in detaching and moving on. That there is nothing for me to "lead" in except my strength and honor when with kids & stepkids. Just accept it and end all manner of attempting to affect change. That I somehow contributed to screwing up the single best thing that ever happened to me, woke up too late and DB or not, DR or not, Prayer and Supplication or not, there is absolutely no way remaining in which I will be able to positively affect the outcome of this, stop the slide down this slippery slope or pull the Emergency Cord on this train for which Divorceville is the next and final stop.

In two words: Accept it.

How's that for an all-encompassing definition? smile


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1862153 10/26/09 01:48 PM
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Lot's of wisdom on this thread.

Accepting it isn't throwing in the towel. Accepting is acknowledging the reality and preparing for the possiblities. Imagine if you had cancer, how would you handle it effectively?


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach #1862386 10/26/09 06:47 PM
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Thank you, coach.
Originally Posted By: Coach
Accepting it isn't throwing in the towel. Accepting is acknowledging the reality and preparing for the possiblities. Imagine if you had cancer, how would you handle it effectively?

Answer:

1)Make myself as physically, emotionally, and spiritually strong as possible.
2)Cherish each moment as the irreplaceable gift it is.
3)Love, Love, Love.

Your questions are always great answers, as I'm sure you know.

God bless you and Greek


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Gardener #1862391 10/26/09 06:51 PM
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Originally Posted By: Gardener

God bless you and Greek


He has. Thank you.
Cheers ~
Greek


Me45 H46
T25 M22
S21 & 19
D13
Separated and filed 8/08
Moved home 11/08



Happily ever after is one day at a time.

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