Friday evening, my wife is picking up our daughter from the sitters, I have made plans with friends. I am sitting at home, relaxing after a very long week when the phone rings...you guessed it, its my wife...she is in tears, I can barely understand her, she is in the car, my daughter is also crying in the background.
My wife had an argument with the babysitter! I go over to my wife's, try to calm her down...try to see what happened (I called the sitter beforehand to get her side of the story). The reasons for the fight are, in my mind, trivial. My wife insists (and she told this to the sitter) that our daughter will not go back there. The sitter has never endangered our daughter, she loves her and treats her well and my daughter loves her sitter!!! All this started because my daughter was wearing a diaper, when she is potty trained (most of the time) and my wife started "attacking" the sitter.
So now we have to find a new sitter. For the time being, my wife is bringing our daughter to my place and I bring her to the sitters (they both refuse to see each other, speak to each other... ). My wife says she hates this, that she has to go through me !!! But she created this mess. Plus, we are now breaking a two year relationship between our daughter and her caregiver...a beautiful and loving relationship, because of my wife's innability to treat people with respect! It was her comments and attitude that turned off the sitter. And I am stuck in the middle, and so is my daughter.
I stayed away from my wife this weekend...and dont much feel like being around her at all.
On Sunday, (d still with wife remember) I had a baptism to attend (I am Godfather to my little nephew ) and my daughter was supposed to come with me. My wife left two messages on Sunday, saying our daughter was sick and wouldn't go. When I called, later in the evening, my wife AND sick daughter were at my brother-in-laws B-day party ??? The baptism had been planned months ago (before the B-day party), my wife knew about it, had accpeted to come with our daughter, or let my daughter come with me if she did not feel like coming...and she turns around and brings her somewhere else instead! YES, my daughter was sick (still is) but then, how is it that she could not come to the PLANNED baptism, but COULD go to the B-day party??? My wife asked me if I was hurt...NO SH*T, what do you think!
I cant deal with all of this! I dont want to deal with this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Steph (who is in a pretty good place, when his estranged wife doesn't come in and screw everything up!)
steph, sorry you've had a shitty weekend...what a mess w is making for herself...and remember SHE is making a mess for HERSELF...try not to let her actions get to you...difficult when they seem to directly effect you as with the sitter...but keep in mind this is her drama...you can choose to join the play or sit back and watch...
right now I think your doing a pretty good job of watching...I know it's tough not to get dragged up on stage from time to time as with this weekend...but soon you will find your comfy seat in the audiance once again.
(why the hell to I talk in anaologies, do you get what I'm saying)
try to have a good week...perhaps the sitter sit will just blow over after a while.
Quoting lostlove: and remember SHE is making a mess for HERSELF...try not to let her actions get to you...difficult when they seem to directly effect you as with the sitter...but keep in mind this is her drama...you can choose to join the play or sit back and watch...
But this time I cant! It involes all of us: daughter, me, wife and sitter! And now she seems to think I am on her team or something, like I am (or SHOULD be) picking sides.
Quote: perhaps the sitter sit will just blow over after a while.
Nope, we're changing sitters!
Sorry for not being more talkative...or if I am not visitimg your thread's...I am just way too burned out by this weekend to be of any use! It took me til today just to get up the energy to write down what went on this weekend!
Well, the sitter situation has resolved itself. Just not to my liking! My wife played her trump card: "I feel like you're not taking me seriously again...just like when we were married. You are taking the sitter's side!". BLA BLA BLA.
Well, she has resolved this conflict just as she resolved our marrital conflicts: run away, as fast and as far away as possible, and hope everything falls into place! And whenever someone tells her that it not only disrupts her life, but everyone else's, she justifies the crap out of her actions.
The sitter was telling me: "Put your foot down!" My wife was telling me : "I cant believe she (the sitter) has more influence over you than me."
Tug'o war with Steph trying to play peace maker in between! Screw both of them!
I took care of my daughter Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday due to my wife being sick...Thursday, I met both of them at the "new" sitter's place (to meet this lady ??), today is Friday and I am picking up d from sitter's (that's old sitter). So once again...in the past three weeks, I have had a grand total of TWO (2) days to myself, and I am burned out like you wouldn't believe. Christams is fast approaching and during my holidays, I have calculated that I will have a grand total of TWO (2) days to myself!
steph, hope you are doing well and taking care of YOU, getting in as much steph time as you can during the caos of christmas.. make the best of the season!!!
Steph, just wanted to stop by and hope that in some of the past days chaos, you have found some peace for you... you have been up and down and all around on this roller coaster..you have been strong and patient..I hope the holiday was enjoyable for both you and your daughter.. Sue
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) and my daughter was supposed to come with me. My wife left two messages on Sunday, saying our daughter was sick and wouldn't go. When I called, later in the evening, my wife AND sick daughter were at my brother-in-laws B-day party ??? The baptism had been planned months ago (before the B-day party), my wife knew about it, had accpeted to come with our daughter, or let my daughter come with me if she did not feel like coming...and she turns around and brings her somewhere else instead! YES, my daughter was sick (still is) but then, how is it that she could not come to the PLANNED baptism, but COULD go to the B-day party??? My wife asked me if I was hurt...NO SH*T, what do you think!