That email was very well said and excellently thought out Julia.
Being 'friends' with someone who has betrayed you and is unapologetic about it is way over the top. No one expects that. Some day down the road, if he comes to you and apologizes then maybe you can be passing aquaintances.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
It was strange because I didn't think about the email so much as it seemed to come from my subconcious it just flowed and I knew it was right.
I realised I was waiting to be ok with being able to move towards divorce and I realised that I could be waiting forever on that one. I will never be ok with being divorced, it does not sit with me, it was never what I wanted but life threw it at me and I have stopped fighting.
I thought back to those things that he said to me around the time of the bomb and when he said those things I tried to change and thought they were bad things about myself. The fact that my priority was my family (his was work and his new friends), that he couldn't live up to my expectations which were nothing more than that he would be a loving and kind and supportive husband - my knocked confidence led me to believe that those things were me being unreasonable?! - and I refused to believe he had changed as a person, well my eyes have been opened of late that he really has. So, I mourn the loss of my husband as he was and not the person he is now as he is not the person I fell in love with. Therefore I have no other way forward than to live my life no longer under the shadow of this and hopefully one day I will meet a person who will sweep me off my feet and treat me in the way I deserve. Someone who will fight for me and step up for me instead of me always having to be the emotional crutch.
Really the only way I know I can get over him is to go cold turkey. This meet up /contact business was doing me no good. I remember Jeff saying it a while back. However my goal has changed now, it is now me I can no longer worry about him.
Well done on the email ((Julia)). D is a tough decision sometimes. Everyone has their own time frame of knowing when that choice is the one that they can feel comfortable with.
Me39, XH45 Kids 3 dogs, 2 cats Divorced 6/4/09 Tricky thing is not how you live, but how you live with yourself. (POTC)
It all came when the time was right for you. It couldn't be rushed or forced but came when it was supposed to. Don't worry about lack of tears. You aren't driving on emotion at the moment but on the reality of what needs to be done.
Hugs my dear. kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Julia, I would imagine the tears will come when you hold the final decree in your hands. Even then it won't be the soul deep, gut wrenching sobs that you had in the past, but the bittersweet tears of a lost love.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I feel the same way. Just got my final decree yesterday, and I haven't been crying, but I've been teetering on the edge of it. I never wanted it either, but it was what needed to happen.
Originally Posted By: JCJ
I realised I was waiting to be ok with being able to move towards divorce and I realised that I could be waiting forever on that one. I will never be ok with being divorced, it does not sit with me, it was never what I wanted but life threw it at me and I have stopped fighting.
That really struck true with me.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Well, I have been through a lot of emotions over the past few days but mostly I am ok.
I forgot to say on Friday night this young medical student (23 years old) spent the whole evening attached to my side. He was very good looking, but far too young and immature, as he spent the whole night trying to annoy me. He didn't talk to anyone else; it got quite annoying in the end. Is that flirting???
Oh but what an ego boost, to have a young, attractive man flirt with you. (The sex is good too...)
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
