Has it really been 3 years?

[peaceful_spirit]

25yearsmlc,
I can relate to so much of what you posted. When my H first left, I was an absolute mess. That's putting it mildly. I begged and pleaded. That was a ridiculous waste of time. It seems like the natural thing to do... convince them that the marriage is worth saving and that the love is still there. But that's just about the best way to drive them more quickly out the door.

The concept of GAL and finding peace within makes so much sense, but takes a while to really internalize and implement. But it is key! When my H saw that I was moving on... our family was moving on... without him, he took notice. He suddenly questioned his decision to leave.

Some MCLers don't come back, but some do. You can't control what he or she will do, but you can control what you will do. Realizing that you exist outside of your relationship is crucial to your own personal success, and potentially to the success of your M.