Hi all. My W and I have been separated for 2 months and I just found out today she is seeing OM. She denied it for months, but I got some hard evidence and when I conforted her, she admitted to the A.
This is all new to me, but what's my next move? At this point, I don't want her back. But we do have a S4 and D2, who are my first concern?
Still a little shocked, but would appreciate any guidance.
Thanks for the reminder! I made a mental note earlier to set up a sep account. Am doing it now online.
Originally Posted By: marriedCrazy
Who has the kids? Hopefully you do.
When we separated, we agreed to split time with them 50/50. She gets them Sat. night - Wednesday AM and I get them the rest of the time. I would like for them to come stay with my 100% of the time, but I know W wont' agree to that. And in the state I live, infidelity has no bearing on child custody in a divorce. Talk about crazy!
Even in my state, infidelity has no bearing on custody. However, if the W moves out of the marital home; the law favors what would be least disruptive for the kids. In my case, I demanded that the kids stay with me in the marital home; specifically on school nights. I felt it important that they were able to keep their routines as intact as possible. Just because she wants to split from the family doesn't mean that the kids have to have their lives disrupted.
Hi all. My W and I have been separated for 2 months and I just found out today she is seeing OM. She denied it for months, but I got some hard evidence and when I conforted her, she admitted to the A.
This is all new to me, but what's my next move? At this point, I don't want her back. But we do have a S4 and D2, who are my first concern?
Still a little shocked, but would appreciate any guidance.
I think you are doing the right thing by getting your own accounts and removing the joint ones (yes they spend like no tomarrow and i think that they belive there is no tomarrow) you will more than likely go through anger hurt and back and forth for a long time even if you want to put up with her and take her back. I know i keep going through this and im so mad at her right now I dont care but im sure later i will be back to thinking of her and the good times
^ Well I took the day off from work today and am purging my house of any and all things W related. It actually feels kind of good. Right now I wouldn't take her back since she's been with another man. I know my emotions will be a roller coaster, but I don't see this stance changing. She's still in serious denial and telling friends there is nothing going on. They all know better though.
I'm a firm believer in what comes around, goes around.
Right now I wouldn't take her back since she's been with another man.
You may want to think about that again, once the anger and pain have disappeared a little. As a first reaction, it is very understandable, but once you clear your head a little, there is a chance you want something different for you and your kids.
Also, a R or M can survive infidelity and become even stronger, but of course, it would require her to end the A permanently and show the remorse necessary to slowly rebuild trust.
M43 W45, M17 S9 D6 Bomb: 11/11/08 EA: 10/26-12/31/08 ? Retrouvaille: 2/13-2/15/09 Healed, but still heading for D My situation
Right now I wouldn't take her back since she's been with another man.
Hold onto this. Keep believing it. It could be that she'll work her butt off eventually to win you back, but you can't base your life on the eventuality that she MAY want to try again. Move forward, as you are doing, with the understanding that it's over. Work on yourself. Make this be her loss.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
Right now I wouldn't take her back since she's been with another man.
Hold onto this. Keep believing it. It could be that she'll work her butt off eventually to win you back, but you can't base your life on the eventuality that she MAY want to try again. Move forward, as you are doing, with the understanding that it's over. Work on yourself. Make this be her loss.
Great info...and exactly what I'm trying to do. I need to copy and paste that paragraph and read it everyday!
