"I'm sick and tired of being the perfect W/H and mum/dad. It's time I took care of me".
"Sure, you're trying hard now, but I've been trying hard for a long, long time. It's too little, too late".
"He's a good guy and we were friends who found a connection. We never meant for this to happen".
"It's not about him, or you, it's about me".
"I never thought I could fall in love with someone else, but it happened".
"Stop being so nice, you're just trying to make me feel guilty".
"I don't want to die tomorrow and think that THIS is all there is to life". (frequuently accompanied by "I deserve more".)
"I have goals and want to do so many things. I just don't want to do them with you any more".
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
I got... " I married you because I felt sorry for you!" He asked me several times before I accepted!
I also kept hearing "Nothings Changed!" " You need to just move on!"
The thing that gets me the most was how I was buying into it. Now that I can look back at it, it is amusing! How they all say the same stuff just amazes me!
Count me in for making it our mission to find and destroy all copies of the script for future generations.
"I love you, you're my best friend. I don't know what's wrong with me"
"A divorce would be a clean slate"
"Nothing is forever (meaning divorce), true love never dies"
"Don't you want me to be here because I *want* to be here and not because I *have* to be here?"
"I'm tired of living for everyone one else"
"Well, sure, I can tell you've changed. But I'm afraid it will go back to how it used to be."
"I'm a good person- I would give up my life for a stranger" (huh. but you can't commit to the person you say you love. how odd.)
"Well YOU let me get away with this. You gave me way to much rope" (blame the victim)
"There's a big part of me that hopes we work out" (what?! 'hopes'?)
"I can't picture you *not* being in my life." (ie-'can we be friends?')
Oh, and be sure to sprinkle a lot of "for now" and "right now"s around. Like "I just feel like this what I want to do, for now". This implies hope for the future.
OH! I almost forgot the best one of all. "We should divorce now because if we are in this same spot a year from now, you could get fed up, decide you hate me and then all would be lost."
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
we dont have anything in common (funny because we had/have so much in common)
you are the father/mother of my kids i will always love you
if you really love someone you will let them go
You are too controlling! (huh? you go out most nights, go to friends go to school do what ever you want while i watch the kids)
WE got married for the wrong reasons (huh? )
our sighns dont work we will never work
I love you but, because of your family/friends we cant (what? my family and friends treat her better than her family and friends- well one of my friends hates her but rest mind there own)
I don't want to responsible for anyone but myself. (TRUE)
We are JUST friends. (LIE)
I left because if I didn't I was going to kill myself. (GUILT MUCH?)
We don't do have enough of the same interests. (Yeah for some odd reason, smoking pot, drinking alcohol, going and playing pool in smoky bars, and going to concerts aren't all that interesting to me!)
Even if you had been the perfect wife I would still want to leave. (Blah de frickin' blah)
Enjoy your new life, STBXH! I'm Certainly enjoying not having to support you, not having to walk on eggshells, not having to depend on someone who is undependable and forgets why he went outside to get the mail along with everything else).
"It is excruciating pain. It is the pain of separation, the pain of loss, the pain of dreams and expectations unrealized. It is the loss and death of a mirage."
