your H sounds like mine in somre regards. you are right to be concerned. my H treats me like crap, talks to me like crap and then tries to put the moves on me. they are nuts, nuts, and nuts. i can say that because I am a psych nurse and I know crazy,narsacisstic, boderline behavior when I see it. might also be a bit of impulse control behavior thrown in. i kid you not when I tell you i have pts that curse me on in one breath and call me every name under the sun and 5mins later they are asking me for a favor like nothing ever happened. just like with them I have never been any good at making H understand and feel consequences. consequences and limits have to be set and I am learning that the hard way. I wouldn't be surprised if your H was trying to cozy up to you to get you to change your mind on the child support. Don't do it!
"Forest, in regards to the child crying, I'm assuming you were playing with words and meant exH's crying...or are you saying that she shouldn't be concerned with K's crying? I was kinda confused on that one."
To a point.. Both. I truly believe that "Life" has a impact on everything we do and say. Basically.. what "we" are walking thru shows up everywhere. In that train of thought I just want BS1 to make sure she is not "superimposing" things. Again she will have to trust her "heart" on how to deal with K's crying. The situation's are different.. but not that much different. It's always the small things that bring big changes.
"When I get upset, I just remind myself of the person he really is."
And yet.. this is part of the problem? You can't force yourself to "think abnormally". You need to think about things on a new level.
"Yes, I am sooooo jealous...I want a man who walked out on his pregnant wife, who lives off of me and has no problem doing so, who has to pay over $1000/month in child support - that I will end up paying for, a man that made me work overtime and double shifts up until 1 week before I delivered our son - just because he wouldn't get a job, a man that cheats on me with his ex wife and many other women and has the whole two years we have been together, a man who has no real relationship with his family, hates his mother, envies his father and is so jealous of his brother he won't even acknowledge when he is in the room. A man who is content with seeing his daughter once or twice a month even though he only lives 15 minutes away, doesn't provide ANYTHING for her or pay her child support, doesn't check on her or wonder about how she is or what she is doing that is new, a man that takes waaaaayyyyy more than he gives and doesn't pull his weight, steals, lies and lies and lies and steals and steals and steals.
Yes, April, I am jealous....that is the kind of man I would do anything, even compromise my childred and myself, to marry. Because, I can't do any better......HA"
At times I wonder if this is not what you really think. Lemme just say if you are living your life with "this" on your mind.. we might be "here" a long time. You have the power to put "this" behind you. "This" takes me back to.. "Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself." Why would someone say that? Why would I be pointing it out here? What can you do to.. Forgive?
"Scaring the crap outta me."
Prepare and Protect. Is any of this starting to make sense.. or become more clear?
Think about why I talk to you the way I do. Think about what I say to you. At the very least.. I will take your mind off "This" for a min. That is my goal.
"Since when where you not my Wife?"
Funny question. Can you answer it?
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
Hope you had a great weekend! Saw some good pics on FB.
So have you heard from CSS? What are they going to do?
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Always thankful for the feedback. "Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself"...hmmmm, I have a hard time giving myself, anything including a break. At that moment, I hated that woman for poking at me by saying I am jealous of her and I am selfish.....she helped destroy my family and she has the nerve to say crap about me.
I am getting tired of taking the high road with ExH. He is mean no matter what. Friday he was nice and kind and even joked with me. Then Saturday, he actually answered a text asking how K was doing.....WHAT???? For a moment, I thought..hey, this isn't so bad. There's really no reason for us to be angry with each other anymore...until Sunday. I go to pick K up...he's full of piss and vinegar. I ask him what is wrong and he proceeds to find things to be angry at me for. They were so ridiculous, he could have said he's pissed because he didn't like the color of my shirt and it would have been the same type of reason...He was totally OFF. Then he told me that he would be happy if he didn't have to deal with me and could have K full-time. I told him that wasn't gonna happen and that this was his decision.
I try to include him in stuff with K. I want to enroll her in a baby boogie class on Sundays and he doesn't want to be bothered to take her. It's only 3 classes he would have to take her to. So, he doesn't want to be involved with her stuff, but can shuttle OW's kids around the county to baseball games and practices 3 times a week. He's an a$$.
So, I just said "bye" and left. I am so sick of dealing with him. I can't deal with him because he won't be anything but a jerk to me. What am I supposed to do here? I don't bug him about what is going on with K's life because he gets mean. Then he gets mean because I don't include him in K's life. I CAN'T WIN WITH HIM. And, I don't know how to do this when he is so bent on hating me for any reason he can find...even if it's stupid or made up. He got pissed off because I won't let him take K on a vacation. I asked him when he even brought this up to me. He told me that he hasn't brought it up because they don't have any plans for a vacation. But, if they did, I wouldn't let her go.
That is the kind of crap he is mad at me for. Made up, assumptions. He's ridiculous.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
I'm doing okay. I have a bit of a sore throat the last couple days. All I care about is that Kendall doesn't get it. This morning as I drove to work, I noticed that I had a smile on my face..not for any particular reason...it was just there. Haven't done that in a very long time. Maybe I'm just finally feeling somewhat happy again. I can only hope.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Good point, GM. I won't be asking anymore...like I care, anyway.
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
gm gave a parallel response to the one I was preparing for you.
You are way too verbal with him and his crap. And while you say that you can turn the spiggot off on asking him stuff in the future and it is really going to take a solid and determined concerted effort on your part to do this ..cuz the don't care part is debatable at best. It would seem this would be way too early in the process of this crap for you to be entirely able to be done with caring. Remember I know you. And it is only natural that you do still care cuz you are not the one is is completely out of touch and f'ing deranged. And we are oh so happy to have a blindy who is cool and caring. But choose to place it on the right people who can accept it for the gift that it is and be glad for it. I think you get the picture.
glad to hear of the spontaneous smile this AM. sometimes it is so foreign and we try to fight it off as it beging to settle over us. very bazaar human behavior. Trust me I know.
May you be blessed with peace and smiles and lots of K time
At that moment, I hated that woman for poking at me by saying I am jealous of her and I am selfish.....she helped destroy my family and she has the nerve to say crap about me.
I have the same feelings for Ow most of the time too. But you have to think what kind of woman would do that stuff and then talk crap like that to you? A messed-up, insecure, immature person. And I also think you know when the OWs see/hear how our Xs treat us; I mean they have to realize at least some of this bad behavior, and then do they really think at some point down the road they're not going to be treated like that too?
