Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 62
J
Member
OP Offline
Member
J
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 62
Please help me with your comments. Discovered facts - wife had an affair this weekend. Lied to me about all of this for the past 2 months. I have set a firm boundary. She's been playing me. Thinking she could have her cake and eat it too and took advantage of my work on DB and friendship. I told her I have NOTHING more to say to her unless she comes clean about the whole thing.
_________________________
Married 16.5 yrs. Wife detonated nuclear bomb asking for Divorce July 6, 2009
Currently in-house separation for 3 months
I'm on Divorce Busting track
2 daughters 6, and 9
Wife 48
Me 49

Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 986
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 986
Hi James...
1.) Calm down.
2.) Stop talking to her until you are calm.
3.) How do you know she had an affair this weekend? What was going on before this weekend?
4.) Who is the OM?
5.) What's her reason for asking for the D?
6.) Where is she living? Where are the girls?

More details please. And again, no talking to her until you are calm.


M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,948
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 1,948
If that was a firm boundary, then do as you said....go dark on her. If you break the silence (because she contacted you), tell her that you don't intend to be in an open marriage and have nothing further to say to her. Most add, "until you are ready to work on us" or some thing like that. I personally don't like that because it says, "I'm still here when you are done with OM" and I think they should be of the understanding that they lost you. Don't panic....go out. Have some fun. Try to get this out of your head. It's not a small thing to sweat, but seriously, what can you do about it? Not much, so let it go and try to forge ahead with your life.


You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard