Forgot to mention that H apparently has a few girlfriends - yes plural - now that he's broken up with ogre. Hasn't been able to find the right one as they all seem to have something wrong with them.
They all have something wrong with them. LOL Yep. And yes, learning that you cannot depend on them for anything is hard, but you pretty much have to have that attitude so that you are not constantly getting pissed off about stuff.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Hi SC - You're the same age I was when I started here. Our kids are also similar ages... I've learned to expect nothing from H during this time. Once in a while, I'm pleasantly surprised. Makes it so much easier than being bitter and resentful.
Been finding out more info on H from friends - the best bit being how he was rejected by a new girl he was interested in. I'm pretty sure it was snodderly who told me finding someone after the affair partner isn't as easy as they think. Also heard H got in to a fight at a club recently. Real mature.
I can't keep up with H's moods. Angry and pissed off one day, extra nice and generous the next. He didn't show up at close friend's birthday dinner the other day. Told friend it was because he didn't want to give me hope. He's used that excuse so many times, I'm wondering if there's a little projecting going on. Maybe it's himself he doesn't want to give hope to. Possible?
sh interesting that the WAS has a hard time finding a nw R after the A I winder why? what do you think? Is it b/c the A partner is usually low character? and finding anyone with real values would not be attracted to the MLCer you sound strong and I too see my xh moods changing he screams a lot he seems so frustrated it was all his choices though out of our hands peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
SH, I can really sense that you are now ready. You are very strong to stand so long. For your H, I think finding a decent girlfriend will be increasingly difficult assuming his reputation has spread at least somewhat. Hopefully at least he won't find another one like ogre just to fill the void.
Still Hoping, I think you may have me mixed up with someone else. I don't believe I said it would be hard/difficult for them to find someone after the affair partner. Actually, some do tend to locate other partners quite easily and some do move from one partner to another...it all depends upon the mlcer.
That's quite okay. It's understandable. So many people post and have different views on the issues.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
H still stalling on D, still acting strange. Not sure how long it will take for him to get his head on straight. Dating is not going well for him.
Made comment to friend that he needs to be single for some time and will then see what he wants. I think he needs to see that I'm not here waiting around for him, which is why I'm going to bring D up again soon. I wouldn't do it if I wasn't ready for it. Somehow, he's not seeing that in my actions (he never was very observant), so I'll need to actually tell him, although not in those words.
