Yes, it has been 8 years since my husband of 25 years started an affair with maggot (42 year old coop student at work) who was hitting on him and all his co-workers. The summer our daughter won a prestigious award (he was with maggot in a hotel room, not at our daughter's ceremony) and our 25th anniversary party(which he faked while I had no idea he was in another R). That's kind of the history - just so you know.
So yes, it is me - your Mattel doll. Had some issues with a moderator here and have not been around since Sept. But just wanted to say "hi" and tell you what is up.
I don't hear from my ex anymore. He picks up my disabled son once or twice a month. This is handled through my son's nurses and I don't see or talk to him. He takes Ryan for a ride in his car for an hour. That's it. Ryan has ongoing medical issues and was rushed to hospital again this week. I don't even talk to him about it. His presence would cause more tension and grief. He does nothing to help but does much to cause more angst.
But life is good here for the most part. They say time heals all wounds and wounds all heels. I am approaching early retirement. Sped up a bit by a corrupt employee but some things happen for a reason. I'm rolling with it.
Have been in a new R for 5 years. It goes well. I love him. We are good for each other. I take it for what it is worth but am in no hurry to make it permanent.
Still travelling and enjoying my cottage and my other hobbies.
I'm posting to say hi to old friends. But also to remind the newer posters that it will all get better. Although my opinion is not always the one you want to hear - I honestly believe that you are much better off without a cheating, lying, underachieving spouse. I often wonder why I tried so hard to fix something that was better off left to die its own death. I guess I did it for my kids (Jon & Kate could take a few lessons from me). I live with no regrets. I am responsible for me and for my children. I have learned much about making my own life the best it can be after realizing that it is MY responsibility for my own happiness. I can't count on anyone for that but myself.
So - just saying Hi. And hope someone might benefit from my words of wisdom. Trouble is - often we don't "get it" until we look back. Hindsight is 20/20 they say.
well hello hello, look what the cat dragged in)))))))))))
Originally Posted By: SunFunOne
- I honestly believe that you are much better off without a cheating, lying, underachieving spouse. I often wonder why I tried so hard to fix something that was better off left to die its own death. I guess I did it for my kids b
AMEN!!!!
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
I used to have a personalized licence plate that ex bought me when we were married. He had one too - had all our inititals in it - maggot didn't like it (wonder why? LOL). Haven't had one for a while but decided to order one for my new ride. I took in a list of possibilities in the order of preference. The first few were taken. Guess which one I got????
"SunFun 1"!!! And this was AFTER I had registered this name.
So if you ever see a blue convertible with that plate - that's me. "SunFun Barbie" LOL!
Oh - drinks are on the house for as long as they last. We might have a shortage here in Ontario. Our booze is bought at the Liquour Control Board and they were set to strike last night. Silly me - never checked to see if they actually did but I heard they were nearly cleaned out. Good thing I live by all the wineries. I'll just go there.
Lots of pretzels but also black olives and feta with crackers. You into that? Lots of booze, though - seems the LCBO did NOT go on strike after all. Drinks are flowin'
Hi Girl I decided to check and see if my password still worked since I have not used it in forever, and what did I find? YOU. What a great surprise. I have not been on this board in months. Sorry to hear Ryan has been in the hospital. Hope he is better. Glad to hear that you and Josh are still having your magical romance. Hope Brandon and Ashley are doing well also. So you are thinking of going into retirement.WHAT How will the kids learn to dance without you? Take Care Girl God Bless
My longtime DB friend. How are you? Just thinking about you and mentioned you to Ashley this week. Was watching Dr Phil and showed a woman living in a camper with her MLC bf. Saw a motorcycle outside. Yep - thought of your ex.
Today Josh's mom turned 80. Josh visited but just over 24 hours so it was too much for me to fly out for such a short time - so I phoned. And his Mom (who suffers from early stages of Alzheimers) told me she is thrilled that I am in her son's life and she adores me. Wow - that made me feel so good.
Ash told her Dad today what her tuition for next year would be. He told her he'd think about it but was under no obligation to pay. Saw what? Does this sound familiar? I am paying the deposit so she does not have to worry. I am concentrating on Josh's Mom's comments and on this negativity.
Well wow, look who checked in. Hi Barb. And Pammie! I still lurk around here a bit. Have to admit it has slowed way down over the past year. I guess there are so many outlets now that people go to all kinds of places for support.
Thanks for the update. All is well here. Have to admit I miss keeping up with the exploits of all my old board friends although I don't know when I would have the time to do that any more. Life seems to be full of other things and I don't know now looking back how I spent so much time on the boards. I guess I spend it exercising and working and traveling and generally keeping up with the everyday. If you are in touch with Beth in particular tell her I think of her often and hope she is well.
It's interesting that you posted the 8 year milestone. I was just thinking about that the other day. When I was abroad trying to save my marriage in 2002 I went to get a manicure in a salon I had never been in. The woman was just talking, this and that, and she said you know, they say things change every 7 years. I'll never forget that, I was 49 years old, 7x7. I burst into tears and the poor woman was quite taken aback! I had to apologize, it was a scene, me, tears all over the place, my nails, this stranger. I was a wreck. So now here it is, 7 years later and it will be eight soon. That was on my mind the day you posted. More than a coincidence.
So I wonder what has changed and what has been evolving that I do not even know about that will reveal itself. We shall see. I am not waiting, just wondering:)
I haven't dated since the relationship with the missing man sociopath. A possibility or two have shown up but nothing has come of them. I met one guy at a charity dinner and what he wanted to do was talk on the phone. Too busy it seemed to get together, he has a teenaged son and is the sole parent. I found that troublesome (the no time to meet in person but wanting all kinds of info part) and so it went nowhere. After all I have been through I had no interest in talking about the personal details of my life on the phone for months with someone I had met once. It's too bad really, he seemed nice but after he stood me up for a tentative date (let's do it, arrangements to follow)with no call to cancel I had to mention that it was not acceptable. That was the end of that.
So this is long, I think recovery from the MLC path after a long marriage takes a long time, even when you have a good relationship that helps, and I am glad you and your family are doing as well as possible. Cheers, Wonder Oh ps let's raise a toast to the latest greatest emblem of mid life crisis, the governor of South Carolina USA. What a charmer. Please help me through unchartered waters if you saw those emails LOL.
