My friend from church also teaches at the same school I am at. So... This morning my classroom door opens,and my friend is there asking me if I can step out of the room for just a minute. I motion to my assistant that I will be right back, and I head with my friend towards the teachers lounge. There in the lounge, was her H (who also works at our school) and the man who wants to meet me. He had come by the school on other business to talk to her H. We were introduced, said a few words, and then I excused myself and went back to class. The situation caught me off guard, so I felt somewhat uncomfortable. It all happened so fast, that I can't even remember what he really looks like. He must have been average, because if he was really a hunk, I think I would have remembered. lol He seemed nice, and told me he'd like to see me sometime. I YI YI!
Last night H was on the computer until after midnight. I happened to wake up and saw that he was still in the office. He had been typing and I could hear the printer on quite a bit. Also there was a lot of shredding going on. He must have been filling out more online forms pertaining to the D. He had brought his briefcase ( where I believe he is keeping D paperwork ) into the office with him last night, and it is gone now. Maybe he met with my attorney today. Although I think she would have told me. Maybe he is filing more paperwork with the courts. I asked him several times if I could get him something to eat, and he hardly looked at me. The time he did look up at me, it was that deer in the headlights look, and he had a nervous personna about him.
I will continue to keep a smile on my face and gather my STRENGTH from the LORD.
H was able to stand and approach the judge because he was representing himself. Also because he was the one who requested the hearing.
When the judge asked if a reconciliation was possible H said "No he tried, and even went to counseling, but I wouldn't participate. So the marriage is broken and there is no chance of reconciliation!" I whispered to my attorney that he wasn't telling the truth and asked if I could say something. She told the judge that I had something to say, but he wouldn't let me. That he didn't want to get into anything at this time. Another date in late January was set, and that was it.
I came straight home, and was surprised to find him here. I thought he would have gone back to work. He came home to change his clothes. I told him that I knew he was low, but to not tell the truth in a court of law was the lowest. His reply was that he didn't lie. Ya, whatever. The truth would have been for him to have said to the judge I committed adultry, and I broke the marriage vows. Ya, I know I'm dreaming. He walked out of court so smugly. He got to talk but I couldn't. I probably would have said something I would have been sorry for anyway.
Looks like it's going to trial. He still doesn't want me to have much of anything. My dogs, my car, my laptop, a few household items. No alimony. He wants the house.
So, it's the latest thing.... Cheat on your wife, and be selfish to her! Oh, I musn't forget, Lie in court to save your a*#
Hi MJ, LOTS OF HUGS!! I am so sorry to hear about your day in court. It does seem the same to me...."justice" doesn't seem to get too much time these days. I am glad you have a lawyer. I think you handled the day very well. Hang in there!
I just wanted to say hi and to say I was thinking about you. You are in my prayers.
Yesterday was tough. I could think of many other places where I wanted to be instead.
H finally came home this evening after being gone since noon yesterday. The only thing he had with him was his laptop. I had plans for the evening, so I got dressed up and went out soon after. When I left, he was sitting on the sofa in the livingroom watching TV. He doesn't hardly do that anymore. He was very quiet, almost like something was weighing on his mind. I went to church and did some Christmas shopping afterward. I was gone for about three hours. When I got back, he was gone. Oh well. It doesn't hurt anymore like it used to. It's now just a numb feeling.
Tomorrow I go to church where there is a very nice man who wants to get to know me. He called me on my way home from the hearing yesterday, but I didn't pick up. I will know when the time is right.
Yeah....I know how that can be...the numb feeling. I think I half walk around all day with it. Its partly why I really love my long hours at work. I'm too busy to notice the "numb".
Anyways, I think it was a good decision on your part when you didn't answer the phone...I think you will know when you really ready and why stain something with the remnants of something else. I hope church was good and you found your support.
Take slow steps in the new things you do....emotions are running high...and most importantly do things for YOURSELF. Be good to yourself. Happy Christmas shopping...I still have to get started....:) Have a wonderful week.
So sorry you are going through all of this and that you didn't get to say what you wanted to the judge in response to your H's lies. My guess that the driving force behind your H not wanting you to get much is skank. I'm sure she wants it all. Eventually he will see her for what she is.
Just keep strong in your faith that things will work out for your best. It is awesome that you have a guy interested in you and like others said, you will know when the time is right and you are ready for that. I'm sure having that interest is a good ego boost!
No matter what happens through all of this, I know your future will be great. You have been faithful and you have done your best and done what was right. I know for me through all of this yuck I have found that the times I have relied heavily on God and been faithful to Him, I have been blessed abundantly. I don't know how things will turn out for me regarding my M, but I do know that I have gained so much good (in myself, my relationships with others especially my kids, my faith, etc.) that I can't complain about that!
Keep posting so we can keep up. Do you have any plans for Christmas? Treat yourself!
I agree, the driving force most definately has to be the skank. I've never known him to be so selfish, heartless, and untruthful. I know an MLCer has a tendancy to be this way, but he is really awful. She keeps him going with "baby, baby, baby, baby do this, baby do that, ah baby pleeez". I keep thinking one of these days somethings gonna happen to make him realize and see her for what she really is.Right now though she is pushing hard to get her married man to D his wife. Then she can have it all. My H, my house, my life.
Speaking of house.....
I came home early from school today because I was sick. Just as I was getting comfy on the sofa under a cushy blanket, I heard the garage door opening. He walked in, went to his bedroom, and then started some laundry. As I was wondering why he came home so early, the doorbell rang. He answered it, and told the lady to come in. It was a realtor he asked to check out the house. He said " MJ this is Realtor. I said I wasn't expecting anyone as I came home sick from school today, and it would have been nice if I would have known." He took her back outside, and I went in my bedroom. He was outside for a while. He also must have been talking to the neighbor across the street. That neighbor moved his skank in. He had been married to his wife for 35 years when he found his skank. She promptly left, went to another state where their kids are, and D him. He use to complain all the time how she took him in court, wanting us to feel sorry for him. My H must have thought it was a great idea he had, so he decided to do it also. The guy across the street must also be giving him pointers on how not to let your wife get you in court. I then decided to go to church even if I was sick. I rather be in church sick, than to be at home sick in the same house with him. When I got home, he was sitting in the livingroom watching television. I made a grilled cheese sand and some hot tea w/honey, took it to my bedroom and shut the door behind me. Funny how sometimes detaching comes so easily!
A friend at church told me not to be shattered by what happened today. I said I can't believe how I've not cracked from all this. She raised her hands in church, and said "THIS is why!"
I came down with strep throat, and have been in bed for several days. I'm starting to feel a little better tonight however. H came home a while ago after being gone all weekend. He asked how I was feeling and if he could get anything for me. I told him I was good. I really felt like telling him what he could get me was himself out of this MLC before this D came through.
H has been getting texts and he's been answering them. I have never set any boundaries about his calls, because this is his house also. He's also good with the nasty comments. Since I'm already feeling sick and my stress level is so high, I almost said something tonight. I did call the dog away from him though. I hate it when he pets the dog with the same hands he's touched the skank with.
I wish I could tell him how I really feel. How selfish he's been. How I feel about all the lies he's told about me and our M. How he no longer has any morals. How he doesn't see the ow is using him for her "Sugar Daddy". How he has destroyed our M.
He would have an awful comeback for all of them. What is it Charlyne Steinkamp says; "Zip the Lips"
I also need to remember that the Lord said "vengence is HIS".
I am so mentally drained. I want so much to be in a happy place in my life again.
I thought about sending my MIL and his siblings Christmas cards, but I didn't know what to say. I know what I would like to say, and that is " I am looking forward to the day when the truth will be revealed." I know, that wouldn't be nice. BUT, I have been wanting to set the record straight for so long. I've also got to remember that blood is thicker than water, and I would be the one to come off looking bad.
I need to continue to build my STRENGTH, and remember that nothing formed against me will prosper.
