Newbie (again)

[bearsfan45]

Yes....forgiveness. I do believe is a VERY key element. This is what I work on myself and admittedly some resentment does creep in at times....But resentment will only accomplish one thing: Sabotage. Whether it's to improve yourself and/or reconcile down the line with your ex if that option presents itself. Forgiveness can be a fine line. Sometimes you feel like a chump for choosing to walk down that path, but I think it is the best way, within reasonable boundaries of course. Negative feelings, resentment, etc. will just eat at you like a psychic cancer. Just my .02. Speaking of forgiveness, I'm trying to forgive Daaaaaaa Bears for not showing up to Sunday's game. That defense needs some DBing techniques. Ok, I copied that crack from someone else, but just have been dying to use it.

[bearsfan45]

Oh, and one more thing....The High Life delivery guy needs to suspend until further notice all HL privileges of the players until further notice. Thank you.

[dday101798]

Very well put BF45, on all aspects.

[MsMelancoly]

Sorry, no 2x4s from me. We all came here for our own reasons. Saving the M was top priority & then it moved down the list bit. I came here to find my sanity, find people that can understand & give support, overcome fear & control, find my own happiness and learn how to really make a M or R work. Hopefully, I've accomplished some of that.

I understand what you are saying about your XW. After D my XH told me he loved me & always would. I believe that, yet he is still lost. Some of the things he said when he left was true, I see that now. Just like you said, with your XW complaints. The sad part is, is my sitch they were very fixable, at the time. And, I know now, it was more than that, that was plaguing him. So now, I believe/understand, he doesn't want to get too close to me, for fear of being pulled back in. Make any sense? My journey continues to find my way, as I find it hard to let go too. In time it will happen & I will know I'm ready.

You are doing a good job - keep it up!

[MsMelancoly]

OOppss, I almost forgot that one simple tiny word - why? Wrapped up in half truths & lies, although some people do get to unwrap that why to finally find the truth of it all.

[dday101798]

Make any sense?

150% MsM, it sounds as you and I a very much on the same page.

We'll find our own ways to move on in life no doubt. Everyday I think I'm taking a little tiny step closer 'off the porch' to reventure into the yard and see what's been growing while I've been wallowing in the house during all this.

At least the fresh air smells nice.

[MsMelancoly]

Ah, I thought you might

So on PBS last night with Charlie Rose, his guest was Carrie Fischer (Princess Leaha) - anyway she was very funny & had some very cool one liners about life. Wish I could remember them all. Speaking about herself not Rs here are a couple: your liabilities are your assets & keeping secrets is only hiding from yourself.

[dday101798]

Heh, got a call from my sister's BF last night, friming up on some plans to get together Satruday night for a movie and a small outting afterward. Then out of nowhere I was hit a proposal of his to put together a community volunteer group for needy and broken family kids. Of course it hit hime and I agreed to hear his ideas over the weekend in more detail. I figure, if I can't get a paying second job to benefit me, I can atleast volunteer my time to benefit others, while keeping myself busy at the same time.

Then I heard from the boys. Both claim to want to be with me on Saturday. For the most, I believe that, however the underlying message sounds more like XW has her own plans for the night that doesn't involve them and was trying to dump them off somewhere on someone. I felt bad, told them of course I'd love them to be with me EVERYDAY, but that's not how it works. I got a little nasty I guess when both asked why they couldn't, my only response was "talk to your mother about that".

They were already aggravated with XW as it was. Once again 8:30 at night and they STILL hadn't eaten dinner yet. S11 is getting so concious about his weight. Last Friday all he got for dinner when we were out was a salad and soup. I reminded him that eating so late and going directly bed is not good for digestion. He also wanted me to e-mail his teachers becasu he couldn't find a disk to copy an essay he was working on off the laptop he was using and to make sure it was ok to bring the laptop to school. Apparently, instead of shelling out $2 for a new library card, this is XW's idea of an "easier" way. uggh.

Never talked to XW, o-well. Since the times I heard her in the background whe had an attitude to her tone, I don't think I would have wanted to anyway.

Side note, I told the boys their Halloween cards from my gram came in the mail yesterday. S12 wanted her number to call her when I said whe you OPEN them, don't forget to call her and say thanks. So he wanted to call her right away, but apparently XW deleted the number. Cute.

[volleydog]

Dday that is awesome about the volunteer work, I hope you can get it going.

That's crap about not eating dinner till after 8:30, I feel bad for your kids.

Like you I have a hard time telling the kids I can't see them. I want to but don't want stbx to think she can go out with OM and always count on me to take the kids. But damn I miss them, I don't know what the right thing to do is.

[dday101798]

I want to but don't want stbx to think she can go out with OM and always count on me to take the kids.

Exactamundo! I've told her flat out, I miss having access to our kids on a daily basis as a parent should, however I will not have the desire of me to see my kids abused and refuse to be her babysitting service to go out and flolick with her OM (geuss he's technically not a OM anymore?). So, it's a double edge sword I guess.

We'll have to find you an apporpriate nickname tho, saying "VD" doesnt' seem good. lol