Well I kind of messed up today. My DB coach warned me about this (talking too much to friends and family) and somehow I still managed to mess it up. Anyway a few days ago my SIL and a friend were telling me I needed to speak to my WAW. Ok fine my DB coach said I was at a point to not go dark and subtly initiate trying to catch up at some point anyway. I went by WAW and SIL's place to grab my phone charger and clothes. I saw SIL and asked how W was doing and wondered if she was holding up well. Wondered if she was depressed because I saw a pic where she looked kind of gaunt to me. I stupidly told my sis in law this and asked if my W was depressed? She said she thought so.. said my W just wanted to be alone and not deal with anything at all.. I asked her if she was confused and just really tired and frazzled.. SIL confirmed that... I then said I wish there was some way I could get W to go to MC with me but I said I would not push it..
a little later tonight W Im's me saying that SIL said I came by.. I confirmed and said I was looking for my cell phone charger... asked W if I could come by Thurs and pick up stuff and catch up with her (1st time we see each other in 2 weeks). She said yes... after that she said I am not depressed, I don't need therapy, and that she was at the same weight as before.. I said ok and I didn't want to argue about it. Then I said that if that upsets you I understand and took that at face value.. she asked what I meant and I said I believe you (I don't btw - less than 3 months before she was looking to get into therapy.. instead it looks like she decided to blame me for all her problems and unhappiness).
Anyway, well I will be seeing her Thursday. The first time since our separation. It looks like I have my work cut out for me. I will be as pleasant as possible and try to validate everything she says. I haven't heard anything about papers being filed so I still have hope. I am glad that I managed to validate in that IM convo and make it known that I wouldn't argue but boy do I feel like I backtracked.. I will gladly take any advice as I hope I haven't screwed up too badly in the grand scheme of things.
Drew --- me-36 WAW-32 separation - 5/22/09 WAW twin sister-32 (lives with WAW) SIL H death - 11/02/08 ILYBIANILWYAM - 5/07/09 bomb - 5/07/09
just to add I am on a new med for ADHD. Yesterday and today I was having pretty bad side effects and felt kind of emotional where I had been doing ok before. Fortunately, these side effects are already going away and it should be smoother sailing. It will be worth it in the long run.
I had a good PMA day and didn't think too much about my slip. Sometimes it takes a mistake to put detachment into perspective doesn't it? I hope my WAW appreciates her space because today I actually enjoyed mine. Anyway, time to get out of the house I have an out of town friend to hang out with!
