I can not believe I have been posting on this for a couple months. But something amazing has happened, besides the fact that a part of me realizes I must truly be nuts?!!
Anyhow, my xbf has been calling me recently. And he asked me out on a real date in front of real people he knows personally and in business. All nice signs. But the big thrill for me was when he said some key words from the Divorce Busting "handbook".....he said I have done a 180. At last, he has noticed. I'm floored.
He has been involved still with this other person...it is long distance but there have been a couple visits. He has no idea I know any of this.
We had a long talk over the weekend and he said he realizes he was a fool.
Anyhow, he called me today and said that he has been thinking about something I said. Not sure yet what that was.
We're getting together this weekend, socially at an event, and maybe we are at the start of really good communication.
I don't know how to re-build the trust, but I'm going to take it one step at a time. What I do want to say is that I'm moved that DB may actually be working for me. Most people at other sites would say to let this relationship die; yet this site offers encouragement that two imperfect humans can possibly find their way and that it is worth the effort to try. We'll see how it goes.
Andabelle, I didn't see your post sooner. Thanks. I think you are right. He called me last weekend and I didn't answer as I had a splitting headache and when we did talk he made a point to ask where I was on a Saturday night. I just said "why do you want to know?".
Whitelight, that is such a great question and I would love to know if anyone else has ever felt this way. I would really like to know.
A big reason was that it will necessitate a geo move that I was not ready to make. This move would lengthen my work commute to an hour each way. Not happy about that idea but I have given it thought and decided even in this bad job market, whose to say I would stay at my current job forever? What, do I snuggle up to it at night? I realized in this split that I would rather drive then lose the relationship. He can't move, not now, due to his business. Outside of the work commute, I actually love the town he lives in more then my town.
The other big reason is that I just wanted more time. I had been in a long marriage and a long divorce and with my BF life was so very happy. I felt like a kid in a candy store all the time. He's not perfect, but he made me really happy and we got along so well. And I'm not perfect. A part of me feared that if it didn't work out, I'd be divorced a second time. Why I feared this, I still don't know. I think it might be baggage.
