I am sitting here wondering if this will be me in a few years from now....my husband and I began this journey 3 yrs ago. He is finally going to child support court on Wed. what I would pay to be a fly on the wall....I am so sorry you are feeling so sad and it hurts as it did when the bomb dropped.Any words of advice??? I am doing much better but I still have hope and I still pray for his return.....may God bless you for fighting and standing till the end...good luck to you....
You know, I was just thinking about you today. I'm sorry it has hit you hard. Can you get together with a good girlfriend to just have some fun and forget about it for a couple hours?
What was the final determination on the house? I just hate thinking that he's saddled you with that hunk of junk the he wanted. I think once you get out of there and can start over in a new place that will help you a lot.
I'll keep an eye out for you in Surviving.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
I'm sorry you are hurting, it must of been very hard for you, wow, I have never heard of the judge asking those Q. In my case we pretty much settled everything and didnt need to go into court, i had mixed feelings about that, relieved but yet, needed that closure - as much as it hurts now, I do think in time you may look back and be glad you did go- I can bet your ex was very uncomfortable and squirming in his shoes whilst answering those questions, maybe in his mlc mind they were "his"truth, but one day he may look back and wonder...
You are going to be ok ...more then ok , really you are! Its a process but its worth it to get to that other side- stronger and happier, this I know and this I wish and pray for you
Take care of yourelf, do something extra nice for you!
Last edited by KarenMarieS; 02/22/1005:24 PM.
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
Thanks so much Irmac, Karen, and Pearl. I'm finished with sulking now and my energy is returning. Nothing like 100 middle school students to take your mind off things. They expect me to be smiling and supportive everyday. And goodness knows some of them are dealing with their own sad, dysfunctional families.
Yes Pearl I did get stuck with the house but the good news is xh has to pay for the clean up and repairs before I put it on the market. He also has to pay off our joint credit card bills. I'm even getting a little alimony ($300 a month) for two years. So I guess you could say I "won" in that respect - he was so anxious to D he agreed to anything.
Now the next hurdle. He's arriving this Saturday to move the rest of his stuff. First time to see each other since the D. I'm nervous about it but I bet not half as nervous as he will be. I'm going to be here when he arrives and will be polite and civil but then have plans to go see Avatar with a girlfriend and lunch/shopping. I hope he's gone when I get back.
I've spent the last 3 weekends separating all of our stuff and putting his stuff in one room. He shouldn't have any question as to what needs to be moved out.
Then he can be on his merry way and he and Catbitch can live happily ever after.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Oh I'll be glad to start a new thread. I'm moving to Surviving the D!
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Sgctxok, why do I have to start a new thread when I only have 25 pages?
So, The X came to town last weekend to move his LBS (left behind stuff). I greeted him at the door - well, he said hi and I just looked at him with a closed mouth smile. I was dressed up obviously ready to go out - pocketbook on coffee table, car keys in my hand. Ha! Probably my best DBing for what it's worth now.
He walked right to the back room asking "So how much stuff is it?" I thought, you're about to find out buddy. He saw all of it, books, albums (remember those?), magazines, clothes, stacked neatly and he immediately lost his cockiness.
"Wow, I really appreciate you doing this. I can see you put a lot of work into it". I looked him straight in the eyes and said "Yes, I did. I'm going out now, leave the dogs outside and call me when you're leaving."
I left so fast - didn't even give him time to blink.
Barely 3 hours later he left a message that he was leaving, would return tomorrow to finish up and he couldn't thank me enough for organizing everything - it made it so much easier to pack. Damn! Did I make it too easy for him? Oh well, the neatness was really more for my benefit than his. Wanted to make sure he didn't take anything "extra".
Repeat on Sunday. He shows up and I'm dressed and ready to leave. Very few words between us. Did he really think I was going to stay at home and watch him move half my life away?
Why didn't he put it all in a U-Haul like I had suggested in an earlier email? Why is he not taking it all back in one load to the Catbitch house 200 miles away like I assumed he would?
Well, turns out he has a storage unit here in town. He took it to the storage unit. And he's living in another state. Here I am heartsick over the idea of my former H assimilating all the stuff I've been around for 20 years into his new girlfriend's house with all of her stuff. But instead, for reasons only his crazy MLC mind knows, it's all sitting in a storage unit.
And he didn't finish. He'll be back either this weekend or next. Didn't quite get around to telling me when and I haven't heard from him other than a text on Sunday - "Thanks again"
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Oh, I can so relate, my h did the same, although I wasn't as good as you, I just stacked it in a big cupboard. He had no idea how much stuff was there and didn't even bring boxes to pack it. He was astounded, I just wondered how he could not know?! He too was very thankful to me for organising it and for all the effort it had taken me. It was like a bit of realisation hit.
They are in total la la land!
I was a little green about assimilating the stuff with ow's. But then on the plus side it will always be a reminder of you that won't go away.
You did really well to just leave him to it. Are you going to go out next time or stay around?
