lol- I don't think there's anything that could make mine man up right now. He'd probably like jail. A bed, food, and no responsibilities.
Yeah, and for my H - no cats!
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Man, your H reminds me of my J. Drama king to the hilt. I don't know how many times I have heard that he has nothing to live for anymore... on and on and on. I used to try to talk him down but have quit doing that. It just feeds into his stuff. He hates it now that I don't try to talk him down. When he came a few weeks ago the horrible situation and drama that insued... ug then he wants to tell me that he just needs to not live anymore. And I guess expects sympathy from me. Nope. Not going to get any. Sorry. I tried to get him to get help for depression and whatever else, and he wouldn't do it.
Last edited by SoConfused; 08/09/0906:34 PM.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
So I guess depression is the bottom line here. Mine said last spring, when his major down hill slide began, "I guess I could kill myself, but that would hurt too many people". I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or try to talk him down, so I remained speechless.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Oh yeah I've heard that threat many times. But his is always that he doesn't "care" who else it hurts. I always reminded him about the kids and played right into it until the last time. When he was in town for the kiddos and acted like a nut. No kidding, that same day he had said to me that he would never see me again except to "spit on my grave". Because I am so evil and do not want him back. Imagine that?
So then he started in with the wanting to die talk and I just spoke before I even thought.. I just flat out looked at him and said, "Well, I guess do whatever you feel you need to do." He was speechless. I haven't heard the threat in exactly that manner again. Since he didn't get what he wanted from it. Fun times, huh?
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
Hey SF Tomorrow is your appt w/ your L? Good! I had my alimony deducted from ex paycheck as he couldnt be trusted, sadly.
No, my ex dosnt call me at all really, only about our S but hes a young adult, so really no need - he just needed to call to let me know no alimony would be coming as he lost his job- and of course, since he did something basically illegal, he starts the pity me routine- typical! He is like yours, drama just follows him wherever he goes, I could tell you some stories!
Anxious to hear how your appt. goes So why again do you think he wants to settle by the 24th?
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
Yes, L appt. tomorrow - haven't talked with him in person since March. This has been a long, slow process. Partly due to my stalling, partly due to the system. H thought I would roll over and the D would happen within 3 months of the filing - which would have been last September.
Last summer 2008 H told me that OW was losing patience and if I contested the filing she threatened to move on. This gave me hope of course that even if he wasn't ready to come back, they would at least break up.
Well, she's still hanging on but I've let go. What a difference a year makes.
The 24th is our first court date - a preliminary hearing. I'll find out more tomorrow with L. Supposedly H's L told him it could be our FINAL hearing IF we had an agreement. That's why H is super anxious to settle.
But, he just found out his L will be on vacation next week so he sent me an email yesterday "Our Ls need to commuicate this week if we are going to settle on the 24th." Right, I'm suppose to rush a decision that will affect the rest of my life because his L won't be available next week? I don't think so.
In the meantime, we had to cash out a small amount of his retirement fund to get us through the next few months. H is still not working and is still threatening to file bankruptcy.
The good news is, I gave H his half of the check and finally closed our joint bank accounts. He is own his own now for real.
Oh, and he says he has pneumonia now.
Me 56 H 47 Married 21 years No children Bomb & moved out 4/07 "My feelings have changed" & "I want to live by myself". Ow Bomb 8/07 H filed 6/08 D final 2/05/10
Silver, I have never posted to you before, but I just want you to know that I am incredibly impressed with your wisdom and your grace and your strength.
You remind me of some wise, wonderful posters that used to frequent this board a couple of years ago and helped pull me through the worst of times.
Glad to know there's someone like you here now, to be a bright shining light for others who are struggling.
