I have read quite a bit on that... b/c forever i felt that is what it was... i also posted over on the MLC forum.. but I think women and mid life crisis is rare so I got no takers..
There are alot of factors that has led to this change in me... 1.I have a hormonal problem that caused me not to be able to get pregnant.. nor did I have periods w/o medication... Well .. LO and BEHOLD.. last year.. i start having spontaneous periods, regulary...( some obvious hormone shift) 2. I stopped antidepressants in the fall.. 3. H had major health issue, unexpected for his age.. 4. Reached a boiling point w/ our teenage son... 5. Then found that sex site when my drive was escalating back up.. 6. Teen age son left the home, which has been devastating.. this has left a huge whole in mylife..which has given me the space to evaluate my other happiness...
IC says Yes it is a MLC.. but thats okay to wake up and realize you are not happy w/ the way things are.... the problem comes in how you deal w/ it..so i registered for school.. and started taking care of myself.. 7. H health problems lead to sexual dysfunction at times.. which compounded everthing.. I have tried to explain to him that the actual act of sex is not important.. but he cant see past it.. so there is nothing else besides that he feels he has to offer..
We have no intimacy.. i asked him if he still had any 'wifely" feelings toward me at all.. he said he did until the website problem, now no.. But i asked him well before, did you ever have the urge to come lay w/ me or just be w/ me.. he said he just didnt think of it like that .. if he wsa doing that then he was thinking of having sex.. But, he hasnt had any real passionate feelings for me in a LONG time.. passion like i want..it was always I got the urge.. i need to get off...it wasnt "I have to have you.. or be with you".. and honestly I had neither for a very long time...i had shut down to him many years ago.. the last thing i wanted was to have sex w/ someone who hadnt showed their face the whole night to the family..but he thinks b/c he has apologized for that that is all done w/.... he doesnt understand the long term damage done by years of that..
I do know there will be NO progress made whatsoever until he can put his pride aside over the website.. and sometimes i wonder if he will be able to..
I asked him if he ever envisioned being able to be happy w/ me again.. and he said he didnt know..not unless i changed alot.. and i feel the same.. some of those changes I dont think either of us are capable of doing..it is the core of who we are..
This may well be a MLC.. and im not running away.. but its real.. and I am seeing things that I have ignored for years..
I told him that it was not about getting rid of him or that there was someone else...b/c i dont even know if I will be happy by myself..but I want the chance at being loved the way I crave.. and i want that for him too.. and im not sure we can do that for each other anymore..or if we ever really did..
