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It's obvious he is miserable but is STUCK! Of course OW is going to try so hard to make it normal for him..She is not feeling what he is feeling inside. But she knows deep inside what he feels!

Why would he be alone on his bike..thinking..suffering.

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I need advice.

ex called me at work.

Furious is an understatement.

He was very threatening, abusive, irrational, blaming.

I can't even begin to tell you all the things he said. He called me a bad person, terrible mother evil, etc.....

It was bad.

He told me he is taking me back to court to take the kids away from me as well as lower the child support payment.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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He said the court date is in Oct. (I don't think I believe him)

He can't buy a house because of me.

He can't have fun anymore because of me.

He said he is getting my child support dropped down 2000.00

He scared me.

He said if I don't sign the papers agreeing to this drop he will make my life miserable forever.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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He wants more furniture (divorce has been done for 2 years)

He said he has to borrow money from his dad.

All this shook me up sooooo much.

I was not expecting it.

He was so ugly and abusive.

He also said he knows how to get my kids to hate me.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

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trusting.. emailing you right now.. call me!!!


M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06
Moved out 3/12/07
D final 7/30/2008
finding myself again


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COUKOO!!!

Ok so I don't know a lot about your sitch but I think that it's safe to say that your ex is more angry at himself then he is at you. I guess the life he envisioned isn't quite the life he got huh?

Anyway, the first thing you need to do is to get a grip. First off there is noway he can get your kids to hate you. Chances are, your kids (especially the older ones) have already formed their own opinion and pretty much know what really happened and who is responsible for what. Why would you let a crazy person who has already shown himself to be a liar and a cheat upset you like this?

Just cover your bases. Ideally if you could tape his calls, or better yet keep things to e-mail just in case it should go to court, it would be clear to anyone that he is not rational. Besides, CS is calculated based on a certain percentage. He can't just pick a figure out of the air and tell you that he's having it cut by that much. Jeez, your divorce papers are not even cold yet,so unless his salary has radically changed, I just don't see it!

CHILL

DS

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trusting---

He is having a relapse....wow...can anyone say projection!

Also - remember....the anger....it is not the opposite of love..indifference is...he is facing what he has done ....or should i say....he cant face it yet.....and he is stil blaming u

going through this u cant believe the blame and the never ending blame.....and it is so hard to deal with.....but u must just know he is talking nonsense....best thing to do i am thinking but i know u have to be on guard not to get sucked in is say....oh im sorry u feel that way....i have to do so and so and lets touch base a little later...so i can understand your feelings.....ok...maybe not that last past...

truthfully i am waiting for this....my x is not even talking to me or responding if i have to send an email...which is rare.....so I am thinking he is fuming....and anyday now the anger is going to go off....

trusting it is the saddest thing what happens to these men.....and for us...we are going who is this man....

just pray for him and surrender him to God...

what he is saying makes no sense...but as you know protect yourself in case.....

these men are pathetic

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What everyone is saying.

He is blaming you for his problems.

Hang up if he threatens you.


M: 16 years
Bomb 4/07
OW 20s long gone
Divorced 11/09
I remarried New Guy
Cooperative r w/X regarding D

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Thank You all so much.

I needed to hear from rational people.

It was just too much and not expected.

He was scary.

I have calmed down.

I am thinking clearly now.

Thank you all so much

I kind of thought he was past this.


Me: 46 H:44
Together: 25 years
Married: 20 years
Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07
OW: EA began 2005
PA began end of 2006
3 children,20, 16, 6
ex asked for forgiveness
01/16/11

Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 286
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I know what you mean about thinking they would be past this...I mean please.......THEY SHOULD BE PAST THIS....LOL

BUT....ITS GOOD YOU SHARED THIS....THOSE OF US WHO HAVE DEALT WITH MEAN AND ANGRY.....AND THEN DISTANT AND QUEIT......IT IS A GOOD REMINDER FOR US ALL TO KEEP OUR GUARD UP AND NOT GET SUCKED IN......

mine is so distant now.....BUT I HAVE A FEELING ITS BOLING BENEATH THE SURFACE.....based on how this whole thing as gone

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