What no 9 by now!!! I think 2 is enough for anybody. Hasn't she heard of the sistahood of sharing??? Oh isn't that how we all came to be in the first place-whoops.
I hope your having the lovely weather that we are having for IT, Ali.
Hey girls! Wow.. well, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed (no, not that kalni!). So saw the Piscean, but left by 5.. had to, I couldnt take too much in one day of that.. and I am meeting my ex at 8.
So went to the Pisceans house at 12.30...within no time he had admitted he was so nervous, had cleaned the house, couldnt wait to see me..his house is beautiful (he's an artist with a studio in the basement).. artworks and hand made kitchen, furniture, beds, paintings, mirrors.. very chic, like something out of a magazine. He showed me around.. we went through old photos, ones I havent seen for 15 years, he kept saying how beautiful I looked in them all.. he got my box of love letters out.. he had been reading them and made me go through them.. we laughed alot, but they were very intense.. all.. I love you madly and forever and cant live without you stuff.. I made jokes about it (typical me!) but he was emotional..
I showed him my photos and there was one of his Dad (who died of cancer at 46 around the time we were splitting up).. and he threw it down in shock then started crying and hugged me..
The whole thing was very emotional, it was lovely, he kept hugginh me and singing my praises, but it got a bit too intense. Basically, he is in love with me, or wants to woo me again.. said I am the love of his life, it broke his heart when I left (it didnt seem that way at the time) that he never loved anyone like me, not his W.. that he was in love with me after we split, thats why he was single for a few years.. that he was just too scared to say anything to me, in case he lost me for good.. so he took friendship (we stayed v close for a few years).. and that he loved me so he set me free and wanted me to be happy, but that he had never got over me.. he didnt want me to leave (tried several times to get me into bed, but I resisted !!!!), wants me to move in, to travel round New Zealand in a van with him and to marry me and have my babies. He said.. thats why I never had children, I couldnt with W, yuo were meant to be the mother of my children.
He apologised and cried for how he treated me, but I skimmed over this, I didnt really want to unpick it, but it was interesting to hear him explain (and he wasnt abusive to subsequent gf's). There were tears for both of us and hugs.. but I felt more detached and pretty shocked and overwhelmed by his revelations. He said he spoke to his BMF about me and what to do and his friend advised him to take his chance, be honest and said he had been carrying this around for nearly 20 years and it felt good to get it off his chest.. taht he was going to chase me now, write me letters and he wanted to get to know me again.
In the middle of all this.. my ex phoned !!!! I went into the garden to speak to him. He was being vague and AGAIN, but said maybe meet tonight and then said I will call you later...
So he has just called again, I have showered and washed my hair AGAIN.. getting ready to go meet him, I am meeting him and his oldest BMF in a pub at 8. I dont know why he has done taht. He sounded nervous and almost disinterested on the phone whenever he called, my Mum listened to the messages and she said he sounded almost rude and didnt feel he really wants me there.. but as I said to her.. its ALL his idea, his invitiation etc.
So feeling overwhelmed from today and nervous about meeting ex !
Hmmm I sense not neediness, but no drama. All a bit too clear cut to pick up the peices and sail off into the sunset for a life of unadulterated bliss,when she could still hang around for a depressive self centered weak,rude and disinterested x who can't make a decision if his life depended on it. So one guy all cards on the table, in love and available on the other hand an unavailable (a technicality)because he doesn't want to be with current g/f but hasn't ended it yet and hasn't made himself available or offered any future together with or without the sailing off into the sunset for afore mentioned life of bliss. Hmmmmm hard choce.
Ok Ali, just tongue in cheek poetic license, I will await your second report so we get the full picture.
Did you feel that maybe you didn't fit into Picean's world,that the girl he loved was no longer you. What stopped you jumping his bones-loyalty to x, btw did you talk about x to him?
What a day this will have been when it's over,that's for sure. Maybe you wanted to hedge your bets and see what x brought to the table before you decided. Maybe in reality the magic wasn't really there for you this time around. Maybe you will decide neither is a good fit??? Gosh I am Ali-ing. Hope you go to bed with a smile on your face whatever. (((())))
Wow! Interesting indeed. The Piscean has had a lot of things he wanted to say to you for a long time. I would agree (from unfortunate experience) that this comes across as being needy from him, so you'll need to tread lightly at first to feel him out.
However, he could also be coming from the angle that he let you go once and now that he's found you again, he doesn't want to make the same mistake and lose you again. He may have been holding in all these things he's wanted to tell you for almost two decades and couldn't put on the filter when he had the chance.
Remember too that he feels comfortable enough w/you to be completely vulnerable and honest. Again, I agree that it comes across as needy, but also give him the benefit of the doubt for a bit.
I'd recommend bringing it up in conversation w/him if it made you feel uncomfortable in any way. Not in a dismissive, so long and good luck sort of way, but just to let him know you can't jump in blindly w/two feet, but may be open to slowing seeing if it is still there.
Oh, if he wanted to get you in bed (and what sane single man wouldn't), I'm guessing there may have been a kiss or two. Am I on to something here? If so, did the old feelings reappear? Just curious...and a bit nosy.
OK dying for the news this morning! Maybe you are still in bed (or not at home!)?
-ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Wakey, wakeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey. Ali, 10.30am now UK. The day is a wasting time you were up. A post in your pj's will do, no need to get dressed on our account!
