you keep putting your hands in the fire and then wonder why they hurt. Guess you are just not ready to face the reality that he is nothing but trouble and hurt for you, as long as you keep your eyes closed and only see what you want to see then you'll keep getting hurt.
Does he define you? is he the ultimate authority in your life? if no, they why do you give him so much power?? he is only a MAN, and a lousy one at that... you keep falling into the same hole over and over again, G, please wake up and learn something from these past months!!
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
OMG. I'm sick - I mean I'm really emotionally sick! Me and my XF called it quits three days ago and I find out he's already dating. I went off the deep end. What is wrong with me?
It's not so much what is wrong with you, but what is obviously wrong with him.
As for you...it seems that you got involved before you were ready and ok on your own. "Needing" someone in your life makes you blind to the faults that might be more obvious to others.
Time to just be Gwyn...and learn to love, accept and forgive her completely.
You two were dating, sort of. Now you are not. There is nothing wrong with him seeing someone else.
That being said, it does not change the fact that the man you most recently dated was manipulative and abusive who didn't care about you as much as he cared about how he could use you. It also does not change the fact that you kept going back for more abuse.
The pain you feel now because he has moved on while you want him back in spite of this abuse actually has little to do with him. It probably has a lot more to do with your co-dependency (which predates him by a long shot) more than anything else.
Please get help. Go to an al-anon meeting or join a co-dependents group and try it for awhile. You need to break out of your self-damaging cycles. They can help.
what kind of a man is he? I'll let you answer that...has he been supportive no matter what and been loving and forgiving? has he been keeping your best interests in mind and never suggested or pushed you to do things that made you uncomfortable? Has he graciously walked away or has he been punishing you nonstop? you have the answers.
Or, you could just excuse every his every reaction with "I made him do it" and hold him unaccountable of his own behavior. "I made him do it" is as unexcusable as "he/she made me do it"
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
This is my journal. Contrary to everyone’s advise and help, I decided to give me and my XF another try. He was out of town taking care of a sick relative for about 2 weeks and the entire time he was gone, things were wonderful. He called everyday, said beautiful things to me, completely made me think that we were once again a couple. We were counting days and hours to be together. The plan was as soon as he got home, we were going to spend time together and so it was. Fast forward, It was time for me to go home and take care of some personal things, he too needed to do the same. So I called to say goodnight and he started on me again. Telling me that I don’t have his back, his life is a mess, our relationship requires too much work, he’s miserable. I didn’t take care his plants while he was gone ( I was suppose to watch his house, which I did). I didn’t do this and I didn’t do that. He needs someone to compliment his life and I have no incentive to make his life easier. I require to be entertained (which I don’t). I’m content to watch TV all day, when he sees everything in the house that needs to be done and I’m not aggressive enough and I shouldn’t have to be told what to do, I should know to do it. I am more confused now than ever. This is a short version of what happened, there is so much more, but I fear that somehow he’ll see all of this and call me out on it. I guess I’m being paranoid. I know what you all are going to say. I’m co-dependent, I need to break free from this, but somehow, deep down in my heart, I know I love this man. Why else would I put up with this? I do love him and it breaks my heart that I’m not what he wants. He wants a partner who will watch his back, take care of things without being told. Be his help mate, etc. I do try, maybe not hard enough. Maybe I am lazy, maybe he’s right, maybe I’m just a free loader. I want all the benefits from a relationship and want to give nothing in return. Is that possible?
oh hon... you still think you are at fault regardless anything he does to you.
You love him... so what?! I loved x too, but when I found out he was still seeing/talking to ow despite all our counseling/my efforts to be superW I drew the line. It killed me to tell him to go, but I was dying living with him, having him disrespect me, knowing he disregarded my feelings and basically treating me like scum as he kept lying and hiding stuff from me. I loved him and he is the father of my kids, but there is a time when enough is enough... The fact that you love him doesn't mean you'll take anything from him.
Again, you are just like x, too hurt and blind "in love" to remove yourself from a bad person, from a toxic situation. RUN RUN RUN. you have no kids with him, no years of history, nothing to tie you down, if I could I'd move to Calcutta so I could never hear from x but I can't, I have to deal with him *all* the time.
You have the luxury of starting over again. MOVE MOVE MOVE, for crying out loud, make a wonderful life away from him, he is only a man, you dont' have to give him so much power over you!!! do you have family or a friend on another state where you can go? you need to leave and never look back.
Is this what's love supposed to be? all this suffering?
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
