I hate to say I'm back

[GH31]

San,

I have been here in your situation with my own W. The sad fact is that people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.

I dont feel he goes out of his way to reassure me he is not thinking of her or contact with her is over... his phone is never anywhere in sight..

No contact is an absolute requirement. You simply cannot have a marriage without it. There have been times when OM hasn't been in touch with my W for months but W herself has kept the fantasy of the affair alive.

You must have this. Any "working on the marriage" is useless without it. This is why you have those very subtle, nagging doubts that something isn't quite right.

[trrose]

Hi Sandy.
Givingitmyall said you were able to give an explantation of a WAW, i think he said you were almost one. i know what it is but what was really going thru your head? did you have a PA or MA? thanks

[san]

Hello All,

Time for an update.

All has been wonderful..I had my hubby and marriage back. He had been living in our family home about 6 weeks...working on our relationship since end of April. We just gave up his apartment on the 5th of July, got it all cleaned and keys back to the complex. Not even 6 days later.. he leaves and doesnt come home..sent me a text.

Said he was having trouble finding those feelings again.. what?
I was shocked ...again...cant believe it.

He has again lied to everyone..family and friends.

And gone back to the nasty whore!

So...kids and I are on our own..

Guess there will not be the happily ever after for this family.

Sandy

[cire2]

??? Sure sounds like the man (cough) can't make a decision and stick with it.

(((sorry sandy)))

hang in there!!

cire

[san]

Apparently....

But every time he is so convincing...and every time there has been continued contact that I have found out about after the fact...

My gut worried when his phone was not accessable to me..now I know why.

Sucks, I feel our marriage could have survived all this but he never gave 100%. Never stopped thinking about her. yuck.

It will get nasty cuz I do have a streak in me that seeks a bit of revenge...I have been hurt so bad that I want them to be miserable.

I hate her and dont want her near my children. Do I have any grounds with an attorney on that? She recently got a DUI and there is a police report on record of her calling the police on him when she was drunk one night..she went psycho ranting..hubby didnt end up in trouble, in fact the cop drove hubby 20 minutes to a friends house.

Sandy

[MnSPD]

Hi Sandy,

I'm sorry to hear your H couldn't find the courage to continue. That sucks!

In regard to your legal questions it is best to get advice from a professional as laws vary from state to state. Lots of similarity, but different in some ways. As you negotiate your legal options, keep your childrens best interest in mind. You're their rock, you've stood for family all along.

If you are truely seeking a D, you are entering a contract. Treat it as such. You are negotiating on something that can and will affect you for at least the next 16 yrs (you have a 2 yr old right?) Typically, most legal and monetary obligations end when the children turn 18. Educate yourself, just as you did with infidelity. The more you know, the better you will understand the process and eventual outcome.

I hope you are holding up well, this can be a very trying time.

(((Sandy)))

Steve

[mdoodles]

i havent read all of your situation but i know how u feel about the ow. u can talk to your attorney about it. i believe until u are divorced, if she has shown reckless behavior u may have the right to say u do not want her near your children.

check my thread, i just had the ow in my situation brought up on charges for harassing me. and now she is not allowed near my child...