Maybe I should be in piecing part 7?

[Hope4us]

You're right Pup. I do look for the best in people. I know that's caused me some heartache in my life, but I can't help it. It's the way I am.

Plus, Since I'm not going anywhere for a bit anyway, why no look at the positive side? If I looked at the negative side, I'd have been gone a long time ago.

I don't know, with what Break related to me yesterday and the reading I did on the links she sent, I just have so much more sympathy for W. I feel such compassion for what she's going through. Don't like that I have to deal with it, but I firmly believe we're going to make it if I can give her the time she needs.

I just keep thinking about the things she said made her vulnerable to the A and how those were things she NEVER complained about before, and even admired. And I read what Break linked and the one part talks about how these predators suggest their victims are unhappy because of certain things and then it becomes reality. And that's W.

I know what the things that bugged her are (real or imagined) and I've been working on those things for a number of months.

We have made great progress since last fall and like W said, just when things are going well, something like this crops up. So even she admitted she was starting to feel again. I always knew there'd be bumps. Don't like em, but I knew they'd be there. And if we need to get through some painful times like the last couple days to progress even further, so be it.

My goal is the kind of marriage we BOTH want and deserve. And it will suck getting there sometimes, but I'm convinced, in the end, we will.

How's that for a PMA?

[Hope4us]

Ok, I just had to post this between work things.

S20 called me. His paycheck for work is lost in direct deposit space somewhere. I called the credit union and transferred some $$ into his account so he can survive until I pick him up for spring break Friday.

I IM'd W to let her know that (want her to know what's going on with the kids). I let her know that S20 was good with food today because his roommate made a stew and that I was moving some money over for the rest of the week.

Here is the reply: thank goodness for roommate. I replied making a joke and she didn't respond. Shortly after she closed the IM window.

Man is she F'd up. It's funny, she was ok on Sunday after our discussion, but come Monday and back to work, she changes. I'm guessing that she either talked to EGF and told her what I said about not ever being anything more than civil with EGF and EGF filled her head with crap or maybe our talk Sat night made her either miss OM or realize what a manipulator he is and she contacted him.

I'm not sure what else could make her be like this.

Don't worry, I've detached enough I'm sitting here chuckling to myself. I still have that compassion for her, but if I wasn't laughing, I'd be screaming and I'd rather laugh.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

How's that for a PMA?

Sorry dude, last I checked, the username "pollyanna" has already been taken.

If you can do it, more power to you. I couldn't.

PUppy

[Sakaro]

Hope, so what is the status of the affair momentos?

[Sara]

You need to stop blaming other people. Your wife acts the way she does because of herself, not EGF and not OM. If you don't like the way she is acting, talk to her about it. But don't blame other people. There are 2 people in your marriage, not 4.

[breakaway]

hope, you have no idea why she closed her IM window. maybe her boss walked in. I just have to say you attribute too much meaning to her every interaction. As wrapped up as I was in my OM, it didn't dictate my every movement, and certainly not months after it was over. R-e-l-a-x.

[Hope4us]

I appreciate your comments, but this has been the same scenario for 8 months. She's great on the weekends and a different person during the week.

What's the common theme? She's at work where EGF is and where she could contact OM. It's kind of hard not to obsess about it.

I know I can't blame EGF or OM for W's actions, but to say there's only 2 people in our marriage I think is not facing the fact that she seems to let herself be influneced by at least one other person and maybe 2.

I get what you're saying Break, but even if W is not talking to OM anymore, she's still hanging on to her affair items (last I knew) and in my book, that doesn't tell me it's over. Maybe it is. But venting on here is the only way I avoid losing it at home.

So those last couple posts were vents. After Saturday I felt like we would move forward. Sunday seemed we were. She goes back to work and is different. So I guess I'll ask for a little slack in being concerned with what's going on while she's at work.

That being said, I hear what you're saying.

W kept up the distance last night when she got home so I called her on it. After 15 minutes of her being home and not even looking at me or saying a word, I asked her if there was something bothering her. "No". I said "well, I guess I assumed since all I've got were one word answers all day, there must be something bothering you". "Nothing's bothering me". So then about 5 minutes later she walks in the family room and is in a different mood. Talking all about her day, etc. Was that way most of the night.

Talk to ya soon.

[InLikeFlynn]

Keep calling her on it!!!

[Hope4us]

Seems to have worked Flynn. She's been more engaged today. And it's nice.

I've been really thinking for the last few days that it is time for me to live up to the title of this thread and move over to Piecing.

Not that I don't love all of you here, but I think a change in scenery would do me good. I get caught up in reading others threads on here and I think it clouds my thinking.

I'll still come around and of course, you guys are all welcome to come see me over there, but I feel like it's time to move and get some fresh perspectives. In fact, I would like you to come over and continue to post to me.

Thank you all my friends for helping me get to this point. You've all been wonderful and I don't know what I'd have done without you. I'll never be able to express how much everyone means to me.

H4U.

[Snow White]

Good luck to you H4U.