Jack...you are a good man. I hope....hope...that you do as you do here....random acts of kindness...up in Alaska.
You know Jack...the Eskimos...in Alaska....were very kind to me. They have a view of nature that is unique. I took care of a young Eskimo, who, at the tender age of 23, was admitted to the Alaska Native Medical Center for a third cardiac operation. He drew a picture for me...one I still have....an Eskimo face...half dark and half white, "the face of night and day". He was from another favorite named city of mine (aside from Eggegik): Unalakleet.
Another young Eskimo from Barrow challenged me to an Eskimo 'ear pull'. Nearly ripped it off.
And then there was my flight into Tyonek....first white man there in nearly a decade...that the village paid for because I took care of their chief before he died. Who gets to hear Indian singing while fish head soup brews in the kitchen?
It was an experience....as was this.
Honestly Jack...I am not sure how I will handle not seeing S8 and D5. They are the loves of my life.
How do you ....explain....................................................................
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
You'll handle it like everything else crappy. With Patience and Fortitude.
You'll handle it like Kerry K and others, you'll handle it like all else with dignity.
There will be divorced dad support groups you can attend until you cope and find ways to fill your time.
Read Kerry's words, ok? In one aspect I am jealous, he gets to plan things to fill up their time together...and on that note, I'll take my own advice...instead of complaining about something...I'm going to do something.
How do you explain? I don't know. Be honest without being vengeful. Mommy and Dad can't live together anymore, but we both love both of you so we are going to share you.
When they get older comes the possible real talk if they press.
ear pull...what were you thinking? Were you drunk? : )
Get another book for your son. Do not let her sabotage a future memory with him and for him.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
The scout unit or council has a record of any badge already earned. Books do get lost. Good scout leaders understand these trying times and will be glad to help you recreate what they can.
You are not the person now that you would have been by choosing to "Ditch The B!!ch" on the first sign of trouble. That is not you. You will face all kinds of unsolicited drama and second life challenges very well. You will solve scouting challenges. You will confront and conquer many things you never imagined you would face. You will do it with honor, and when you look back later you will be proud to have done your best.
Your best will be better than most others and it will serve you well.
Well...proud of one thing...she was wearing sweats this morning.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Your relationship with your kids is unique to you ,they love you for you, kids are pretty incredible, They have an insight that sometimes adults cannot fathom.It is tough when you cannot see them. Make your times together as memorable and precious as you can.They will remember the small things. Just love them, protect them.They can flourish in this situation.
Your strength through this has been an example to all of us on the board.
m-54 w-44 children-4 bomb-sept 21 2007 t-21 m-20yrs bomb-sept 23 2007 divorced but not giving up hope, not yethttp://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...rue#post1224023
Craig...et al..thanks for your supportive posts. Jack...KerryK...
I've ligated all the pumpers but I still have a bleeder....my kids. When it comes time to leave...I will hold my head up. THAT..I guarantee.
MIL dropped off the kids the other night..didn't even look at me or say a word.
It's OK.
I am moving on S8...calling my insurance...talking with counselors....getting referrals..touching base with my IC....doing what any of you would do as dads....when you see your son hurting or in pain.
I had a catch with him yesterday. His arm is stronger. His catching is better. He tells me he loves me. I took him to the library with D5 and we picked out books on presidents.
I continue to text STBXW on sports schedules, cancellations, etc. I don't get the same in return.
So be it.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
I continue to text STBXW on sports schedules, cancellations, etc. I don't get the same in return.
Sometimes it's so very painful to read the direction this is going for you FIB. My youngest is almost 16 and older is pushing 25, it seems as if i've missed so much that I cry at times.
Their mother acted much like your STBXW and I found myself, with much coaxing from my father, to take the high road. He came from a broken marriage and instilled in me that my children are individuals and will see things for what they are.
It is becoming reality but it doesn't ease the pain of absense. We do what we can buddy and hopefully along the line don't mess up to bad.
You are inspiring in your quiet strength!
Rock on FIB!!
cire
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
FIB~ Just dropping by to say hi! I see that you mention the book New Earth here and there. May I recommend? THE book. Loving what is. Byron Katie.
New Earth is …… WHAT , and Loving what is ? ……is HOW. If I did already? I am sorry. Just had to share with you. It is truly powerful and life changing. Byron Katie ~ The Work
Quote:
“Byron Katie’s Work is a great blessing for our planet. The root cause of suffering is identification with our thoughts, the ‘stories’ that are continuously running through our minds. The Work acts like a razor-sharp sword that cuts through that illusion and enables you to know for yourself the timeless essence of your being. Joy, peace, and love emanate from it as your natural state.” Eckhart Tolle author, The Power of Now
FIB, the hardest part is not being with your kids full time. I am grateful that I have tawny full time now. My son however I only have every other week.
How do I cope? I get involved and create opportunity. I coach his soccer team, I volunteer at his school, I have my mom provide his after school care. The weeks I do not have him I still see him at least 3-4 times that week. It makes it bearable ( there isn't really a good word for it) and allows me to keep any connection that I can.
Is it easy, hell no my friend. Is it something that we learn to deal with, yes. You my friend will learn this lesson as well. You will resent her for it, that will never go away. You will however learn to make it as good as you can given the position that is dictated to you by a court of law...blech........
I second the suggestion for Byron Katie and The Work. It changed my life...helped me detach from difficult things that others did and focus on how I could take care of myself better. It's a simple practice, but powerful. I find myself working through the strategy in my head sometimes when I'm even in the middle of something.
More than anything, I wish you some peace, FIB. Breathing space.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
