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BTW--Puppy did give you the exact correct text response for the time being.


If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
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I know sorry. Just got all silly. Well it's tomorrow so we'll see if he turns up. If not, I won't contact him.


Ijust looked at his mobile accounts, he came home and admitted that they kissed but kept saying it wasn't like that. He seems to care very much for her. He said he wasn't going to counselling but then sent text saying we should go. He keeps changing his mind.

Thanks, I'm not going to expose the affair.


H 36 2nd marriage
me 32 1st marriage
no kids

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He may mean that it isn't like that. I had a friend who I was close with, and one day he kissed me. Well it wasn't like that. For me anyway. It never happened again. Sometimes the moment takes you away and that is all it is. So I don't really know what to tell you about that.

There is more to the whole situation than an affair. Don't freak if he doesn't contact you right away. He knows you are mad and upset and he may give you a little time to cool of so to speak.

Don't apologize for your feelings, it is just time to start processing them. So that you can move forward where ever that is.


If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
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Well he said he didn't know how he felt. He said they were two people with the same problems but doesn't know what the problems are? I don't know.

The accounts show they have been texting all day every day for last month.

I just hate how I actually names her and asked him and he cuddled me and said not to be silly.

thanks


H 36 2nd marriage
me 32 1st marriage
no kids

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Regrets,

Firstly, do you expect him to tell you the truth? I wouldn't have thought so.

secondly, I am for outing A's and if you know who the woman is it shouldn't take much to find out who her H is and put him in the know. I think it unlikely that she will up and leave her H as she has a child to consider. Also, I would contend that her H has a right to know what is going on. You may find out he already knows.

I was the last out of the four to find out that an A was going on between my H and OW and it was once I found out the whole thing finished.

Your H is being horrid to you because he is under the influence of the high one gets from endorphins when you meet someone new you are attracted to. he is re writing history between yourself and him.

Protect yourself. No-one who is just being a supportive friend to someone texts as much as you say they do and your H staying out at all hours is extremely suspicious. Personally I think you should treat this as a full blown physical A.

Do you want to keep your H and your M in that case or not? If you do you need to break up the A and work on your R with your H. Otherwise go find a good lawyer. In the UK you do not get more in the settlement for infidelity.

Forget the MLC stuff, this sounds just like an H who is having an A.

BTW, stop slapping him and being so abusive towards him. I know you are cross but you are driving him into the arms of the OW and just proving to your H that he is right to leave you. Take the high road.


Saffie
me 46
H 46
M in 1986
D20,D18,S16,D13
H's A 01/05 to 07/06
H recommitted to M 07/06
renewed vows 09/06
Going from strength to strength
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Humility doesn't stop them from having the affair so they shouldn't be bothered by humilation when the affair is exposed .

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Originally Posted By: Joeboy
Humility doesn't stop them from having the affair so they shouldn't be bothered by humilation when the affair is exposed .


And yet they almost always are.

One is private and secret; the other is public and transparent. BIG difference.

Puppy

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Amen brother . I say always expose it .

Last edited by Joeboy; 03/10/09 03:18 PM.
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If you are planning on saving your M, even if he is having an A, then I would expose it anonymously, so as not to have yet another strike against you when you are trying to reconcile. But that's just me, I'm trying to get out of my B****y ways, so I wouldn't do it openly.


M:28 H:30
DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10
T-14 | M-8

10/08- Bomb
4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program
3/10- WH moved out.
7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
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Originally Posted By: 2gthrButApart
If you are planning on saving your M, even if he is having an A, then I would expose it anonymously, so as not to have yet another strike against you when you are trying to reconcile. But that's just me, I'm trying to get out of my B****y ways, so I wouldn't do it openly.


I disagree. "Strength and honor" should be your mantra, and there's nothing wrong with standing and fighting for your marriage. You don't announce it ahead of time, but once having exposed, you stand proudly and say "yes, I did that; yes, I knew you'd be angry, but I did it and EVERYTHING I've done to fight for our marriage and for our family."

The anonymous stuff is going to be found out anyway, and when it is, then you REALLY don't look like you're being honorable.

Just my opinion.

Puppy

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