Another Wife Rising From The Bomb's Ashes

[Tawnya]

Ok..so great time for my thread to lock..LOL!! But anyway, with a new thread I think it's finally time for a new, more positive name for my thread (tho I think for the next one I'll choose a shorter one LOL)

Anyway, to recap my last "heavy revelation" here it is:

{{{Kass}}} well I think that's why I've been enjoying my "new found freedom" honestly..it is SOOOO nice to not have to deal with this daily. In a way I see ways that my hub "controlled" me that I didn't even realize, like even when we were "happy", he would be like that and you kinda just never knew whether he was gonna flip about this not being done or get mad and blow up about something that seemed trivial to me..sigh..I don't miss that at all.

Definitely am side tracking but maybe not..it's funny I was listening to this song/video last night and was telling a friend of mine that I liked it, but not to be alarmed because I wasn't physically abused. Ok..2 confessions on that one: 1) My hub did at times, many years ago, get angry enough to do that and still, even as of last week, he picked something up like he was gonna throw it and that was just something I never knew what would happen..he didn't throw it and for the most part I stood up to that, but in all honesty, as a woman, you just can't fight that kind of stuff off if a large, 5'9"/200+ dude wanted to hurt you, a 5'4"/not telling how many pounds LOL, woman couldn't do too much about it..you know what I mean..I really can't believe I just told you guys that..but this is about me healing and I guess I just needed to say it ::tears::

Secondly, tho I haven't been physically hurt in many years really, give or take a few "small times" (which still count yes LOL), I just think the thought of it and the "walking on eggshells" was always there..and I Think that's where my "do I ever want to go back to that" comes from..

Anyway..can't even really see to type at this moment..pshoo..you know I Think you all are the first people I've told that to I hope you know I didn't tell you out of pity, but just to step on up to that butterfly floating and free

Thanks for listening!!

[kassie]

{{{T}}}

I responded and it locked before you got it. So here it is again. By the way, everyone got locked tonight.

Glad you opened up, put it out there -you will heal. When I first separated and talked to a friend I spoke the truth also and instead a lecture I was surprised to hear sympathy and a similar story she never told anyone.

I was not physically abused by H, but I did walk on eggshells a lot. When I stopped, he just drank more, walked out more, and finally left. I decided then that is what was needed.

I'm quite tired so will stop. Just wanted to stop by and say hi, saw your post and said a little more.

[Mellenmack]

awww (((((((hugs))))))))

I don't know how you do it/did it. I don't know how I could handle it. You have my full respect, because I just can't even begin to imagine, Tawnya. There have been times when I wondered about my own H, but he is more into breaking stuff to hurt me than hurting me. My daddy would kill him. Your daddy would kill yours too.

((((((hugs))))))
Melissa

[Tawnya]

{{{Melissa}}} Yeah..if my dad was still alive or if he had known..yeah..he would have hurt him LOL! THANK you very much..I really appreciate it Well breaking stuff to hurt you is about as bad I think..it's still one of those "cringe and not really be you" kind of sitches I think.

{{{Kass}}} thank you..yeah..you saying that about the eggshells I think is what really did it and then with H's first words being sarcastic and crappy and another "you didn't do something" thing thta even in a text you can tell eh? Thanks for reposting!

Tawnya

[pearlharbr]

(((Tawnya)))

I'm not even sure what to say. I wish I was there so I could just hug you in person! I hope you feel better for telling someone, it is part of the healing process. I also hope you will now feel comfortable telling a close friend who can physically be there for you too. I agree with Kassie, you will find that she will be extremely sympathetic.

I understand why you question whether you want to go back to your M. Certainly you should not settle for the same type of R, you should know that you will never be treated like that again. You are such a wonderful person and deserve nothing less than the best!

[Tawnya]

{{Pearl}} I do too..cause I'd love some hugs right about now I'll be okay tho, but thank you very much!! Yes I definitely do know that..and wouldn't allow it! And thank you very much my friend You rock too!

Tawnya

[JDOllie]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{TAWNYA}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I'm so glad that I've never even been tempted to hit W - I feel for you. If you were here, I'd hug you and give you some hot chocolate or something.

That's really lame, maybe there is a reason I'm en route to divorce!

[Tawnya]

{{{JD}}} it was definitely the thought that counted and, for what it's worth, hot chocolate is one of my favorite drinks, so thank you!

Tawnya

[pollyanna]

I would hug you too. We all deserve to be with someone who brings out the best in us. I know my H did not bring the best out in me BUT i know why as well.

Glad you shared as it is nice to have peole validate how you feel when they know exactly what you have been through.

Dry those tears and be thankful for life you have yet to live.

funny that coming from me...i feel like crap

[Tawnya]

{{{Polly}}} which is why I appreciate your taking the time to help me and encourage me Thank you!!!

Tawnya