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#1711394 02/06/09 04:06 PM
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My last thread locked.

No time now...will catch up later.

Last edited by JWM; 02/06/09 04:15 PM.

John
Me 56 W 46 D7
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JWM #1711714 02/06/09 09:45 PM
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W told me today that she has found an apartment. We are going to tell D8 sometime next week.

It told my wife that she and I will be OK. We will both move on in our lives. We are going to cause a beautiful little girl a lot of pain that she won't understand.

I'm upset that D8 won't be in my life every day.

Time for D8 and I to start looking for the Golden Retriever.


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JWM #1711825 02/07/09 01:12 AM
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John,

Hope you are doing okay. It is one thing to know the separation is coming but it can be more difficult once it actually starts to take place.

Try to keep focused on yourself and your daughter, making the most of the time you will have with her.

Keep posting so we know how you are doing.

V.


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I'm so sorry that you won't be with D every day. I can't imagine how hard that will be.

Hugs


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
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SC, regarding D and paraphrasing from one more thoughtful than me...I've heard that sometimes it "sucks to be me." \:\)
This is one of those.


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JWM #1712086 02/07/09 02:56 PM
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V, I'm really looking forward to the separation. It will allow me to begin putting my life together. Life now has many possibilities for me to explore.


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JWM #1712781 02/09/09 06:46 AM
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Take lemons & make lemonade. ;\)


M 19 years, MC for 8 months, DB'd for 8 months
4 kids; 18, 15, 14, & 10
I was never meant to be a doormat. It took me years of therapy to become assertive enough to stop his abuse.
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W and I talked about the separation last night. She will be moving out next week. We are going to tell D8 on Friday.

We talked about what she wanted to take to her apartment and the financial stuff.

It was a bit tough talking about D8 and thinking she won't be with me every day.


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JWM #1713770 02/10/09 04:23 PM
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John,

I know it must be tough knowing you will not have your daughter with you everyday. If separation is best, then, ultimately, it will cause you to make the most of the time you will have together. If it makes you emotionally stonger, then it will also improve your time with her.

Just keep handling things one day at a time.

V.


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Please tell your D over and over that this has NOTHING to do with her. I know you said she has had some behavior struggles lately (as normal kids do), and I can see her thinking this has something to do with her. Also, kids are going to first wonder how this will affect them. Let her ask the questions, but prepared with the answers you will give regarding where she will sleep, what things she will have, what if she wants a friend over, what about holidays, what about if she wants to do things with BOTH of you, what if she forgets something at either house, can she call you, can she go to whatever house she wants whenever she wants, etc. I'm so sorry.....I can only imagine how horrible you feel.

One day at a time. Pray. Do the right thing, and put everything in God's hands.

You will have the same amount of time with your daughter as your wife, correct? Make sure you do.

Last edited by whatdidido; 02/10/09 04:35 PM.
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