HUGS to everyone! I think there is going to have to be some food and drink on this thread, things have been a bit somber around here! And sober, too!
W should be getting her next schedule in a week or so. I will mention it once, and then see what happens. At least I say that now. I feel like I put the ball in here court, and she isn't doing anything with it. I do have a rhetorical question.... if they don't want us so badly, why the heck do we want them?
Drinks?? I'll have a double whatever! Make it a triple.
Thanks for your thoughts and help today. I appreciate it immensely!
-Emily
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
For me Jeff.. because the heart wants what the heart wants! He is my soulmate. But also, I have had boyfriends before and lived with 2 other men when younger and so I have something to compare to, and noone compares to him (despite his behavioour over the past year!).
For you.. well, can you answer that? Is it love? Is it she is the one? Is it that she is your soulmate? Or, is it habit? Fear of the alternatives? Comfort? I dont know !
Things have been a little quiet, havent they! I'd like a Baileys please.. MMmmmmm
((((((Emily)))))) You are going to be ok, miss bug!
((((((Ali)))))) Yeah, its some combination of those things, I think. I don't think she's a soulmate. I'm not sure there are such things, but then again, until you find one maybe you don't think they exist!
A Baileys sounds really good. Might need to get the big bottle!
So it still seems as though W isn't that motivated to actually start working on the M. What happened last time with getting her schedule to work MC into it? Sorry, I've missed a lot in the last couple of weeks and am trying to catch up with everyone!
It would be great to see our S's take the initiative on their own, but we know that won't always happen, and if we kind of sit back and just go with the flow, then we are sort of enabling it ourselves, ya know? So while we might be a bit frustrated with the fact that nothing is happening, we should know that we are part of the reason why the status quo remains. I have realized this with my own sitch.
I think in some cases, there comes a time when we have to show our S's that we will not wait any longer. We will not put aside our needs/wants simply because it isn't "convenient" for them. The status quo is not acceptable, so something must change. Sometimes that means we are the ones that have to see to it. We have to continue giving that "push".
If memory serves, I think you had her schedule last time without it having come from her. Could this happen again? Could you just make the appt (to SHOW her you mean business and you're not going to wait on it because this is important to you, right?) and reschedule, if necessary?
(((((Jeff)))))
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
I had 2 huge Margaritas the other day... Cold here today, rainy, but if you can make me one, I wouldnt say no...
On the other front, get the MC/IC whatever you call it rolling!! Even if she tries to avoid it. The benefit I bet would be huge. It may enable you to finally decide what to do based on knowledge of what she really wants and make her see how unhappy you are... It can only do you good. If it is a good therapist it will initiate... change. xxx K
Didn't realize your thread locked! No wonder I wasn't seeing anything new!
I hope you can nail down the MC thing. Gabe only considered counseling for about half a second and then just walked away again anyway. You need this for you, if only so that you can close the door on the M if you have to in order to protect yourself. She is holding all the cards and dangling a carrot in front of you. She gets everything she wants out of you but without giving anything of substance back. That is WRONG and I'm really mad at her for you! So there!
BTW, I'll take a Stoli straight up! Bad week!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
I agree with these ladies. If you can get her schedule, just schedule an appointment for a day she is free. If she gets mad b/c it gets in the way of her quilting/sleeping/resting/whatever, then you know just how important (or not) your M really is to her.
I am ready for some action in my M (yes, that kind too but I digress) and I am sure you are too. Enough with standing still. Life is too short for settlin'
I don't know if I will see her schedule or not. I will be keeping my eyes open for it, though. I don't know what I will do with it yet. Though this time I'll make a copy!
