Recovery from years of depression and lack of self esteem.
All of my oldest and best friends have always seen me as the survivor, leader and success story. The past 10 years are over now. The next 10 years have started. I'm up to the task.
I will be great no matter what happens. I'm not defined by having a wife. I have always been defined by my actions. As a rule in my life I have usually put the needs of others ahead of my own.
Does that make me a fool? A martyr? No.
It makes me a good man.
I have many regrets of the past few years. I also have many great memories.
Today I was presented with the opportunity to help a friend who was in financial need. He didn't ask for help because he's a true Alpha Male and wouldn't think of that. He's also a brother in life. I'm blessed that I could be there for him.
W came over to pick up her recipe for Lasagna so she could make it for the girls tomorrow at 'her' house. Every Christmas she makes Lasagna - a tradition that dates back to when we were dating and she made it specially for me because knows it's my favorite thing she makes. I don't think she remembers the reason it became our Christmas dinner, it's just habit now.
Tomorrow is Christmas, a day of celebration and rebirth. I'm not waiting until New Years to make commitments. I think the day of the Birth of Christ is a much better day to start on.
Thanks to all my friends who have watched me crash and cycle as I came to the realization that my marriage can not be saved, and maybe it should not be saved.
However, I can be saved and I SHOULD be saved. Kind of like in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life". What if I hadn't been born? Who would have created the company that provided the jumping off point for so many others? Who would have encouraged my W over the years to try different things?
Who would have been able to be there for friends who were in need? Yes, I spent a long time 'lost'. Now I'm found.
This is who God wanted me to be, and still does. This is who I am.
Thanks Ian, I've never had a friend like you. I'm climbing out of the hole. With your help and AmyC, and Jack 3 beans and others like Richie (phoenyx) plus 25yrsmlc whom I hope to become friends with soon.
I have dropped all of my power, and all of you keep refilling it.
I promise that when I reach my peak again, I will repay you all.
so, D17 was skeptical that I was going to have stockings. Little did she know I have been buying little trinkets for her, her 13 yr old sister and our dogs.
I'm climbing out of the hole. With your help and AmyC, and Jack 3 beans and others like Richie (phoenyx) plus 25yrsmlc whom I hope to become friends with soon.
I have dropped all of my power, and all of you keep refilling it.
I promise that when I reach my peak again, I will repay you all.
