Wow! I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted. I just read my last one and it ( was 1 year ago! I have read up on everyone off and on, but just not shared. I cannot believe what has happened to everyone. I realized as I was reading how much this board helped me through the most horrible time of my life. A fast recap for those who don't remember me...
My H left 11/15/06 (funny - this year I told my sister it was on the 16th....how soon those things get fuzzy!). We were separated for 10 months and he went through 2 OW until I filed in Aug 07. Divorce was final 12/21/07. I bought a small fixer upper house in the country and have been working on it. The kids and I moved in last December and have been so happy here. They are just finishing my addition which will be my bedroom and bath!!!! I've shared a bedroom with my D9 for a year - I love her so much but am ready to not wake up to polka dot walls and Johnas Brother/Hannah Montana posters! We've completely renovated this house and I did a lot of things myself. It has been a project that has brought me strength and hope.
Things with my X are.....crazy. He is still with OW#2 and my kids really don't like her. She is so pushy and he continues to try and make them a family. We went back to court in October b/c he didn't pay a lot of bills in our name that he was supposed to and I had to assume them....thousands of $$$. Short version - he asked for more overnights to reduce his support and the judge gave him 45 days to prove that he wanted to spend more time with the kids. He is failing. He went to California with his bimbo for 2 weeks during that time giving up time with them. Anyway..the judge ordered us to do family counseling and my kids have been going together and separate. I have been going since the day after he left. My X has been 2 times since court and now we have to go together (no kids) next week to try and come to visitation agreements. So much has happened since I last posted, but it would take pages to tell all. It all adds up to he is spinning continually and the kids and I have moved forward. They have a very minimal relationship with him because he is so unstable. They are working on themselves....they understand they can't control him.
Anyway - I hope to be on here more these days. I'm looking at going back and getting my masters degree soon. My babies are doing well and I am too. I miss sharing with you all.
Hope to hear from my old friends!
Beth
Me-BS 38 X-WS 36 Separated 11/15/2006 Filed for D 8/1/2007 Divorce Final 12/21/2007 S13, S13 (twins), D9 Married 13 Yrs Together 20 Yrs
Thank you for that update. You sound strong and wonderful
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Peace - how nice to hear that I was helpful to you. You sound like you are doing well. I'm so happy.
Cinders - I missed you! Thanks for the email and I hope I was encouraging to you I've kept up with you and hope you are as good as you seem!
I hope everyone is ready for Christmas! The kids and I are headed out tonight to see some Christmas lights and do some shopping. We are so excited about this year!!
Me-BS 38 X-WS 36 Separated 11/15/2006 Filed for D 8/1/2007 Divorce Final 12/21/2007 S13, S13 (twins), D9 Married 13 Yrs Together 20 Yrs
Welcome back! It's been quite a while since you posted. You sound very good. I can see that you've been busy and the kids are doing well. Enjoy the shopping. There are some really good sales out there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi Beth- Remember me??? I used to be Upside Down...but I lost the "Down" since it no longer appropriatly decribed me. It is great to hear from you...I think you were the very first to post to me in the MLC forum and you really helped me in those really rough early stages. I unfortunately probably still need more help than I give since I still sometimes wonder if I am coming or going. My H and I have been in MC for 7 months and the progress is pain stakingly sloooooow...to the point we it seems we sometimes move backwards. This may sound horrible of me to say but, I sometimes envy those like yourself who have been able to just move forward and not look back.
Sounds like you and your kids are doing well. Are you all settled in your new house? Good for you for working toward your master's degree. Your XH still sounds like a piece of work!!!
I hope you keep posting. There are many around here that can use your input. So many of the oldtimers like IMP and Rollercosterider don't post anymore.
Thanks Snodderly...I hit a few good sales,but still much to do!
Upside - Of course I remember you! I am so happy you and H are in MC. It is a tough road, but worth it. I understand your envy and think it is normal. I sometimes envy those who have been able to save their marriages. For me, my marriage would have kept me from growing and that's what my path was meant to do. You are strong...I'm glad I helped early on and am here still!
Anyone ever had to do post divorce counseling (mediation) with the X? We have to in order to set visitation and support issues. I just cannot talk with him. One day he will be fine and the next he is angry. He'll say one thing and do another. Sad that we need a mediator to make sure all agreements are upheld.
Hope all is well!
Me-BS 38 X-WS 36 Separated 11/15/2006 Filed for D 8/1/2007 Divorce Final 12/21/2007 S13, S13 (twins), D9 Married 13 Yrs Together 20 Yrs
I've kept up with you and hope you are as good as you seem!