Me: What's up him:: not much me: Did you call that client? him: I will in the morning. me: ok, because I don't want him bugging me tomorrow. him: ok. me: Do you realize what you are doing to me? him: what do you mean? me: how you are hurting me, and driving me away? Him: no, I don't think Im doing that. me: well you are, and all i've ever done is support and love you. him: I love you more than you will ever know. me: huh? Him: (repeated what he said) me: Oh, well your actions prove otherwise, that you don't care. him: I do care. me: Well S6 wants to say hi to you.
they talk for a minute, then I heard H say " tell mommy I said I love her".... S6 says "you tell her yourself daddy"... gotta love that kid.
So he got back on the phone with me and said IlY and good nite..
that was it.
I hate this.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
He reminds me so much of my S25. When he was young he was terrible at other kids' birthday parties, especially his sister's. He just couldn't stand that the party wasn't for him. Now he won't go to that kind of an event. If he's not the center of attention, he doesn't want to be there. I think you have a 2 year old with temper tantrums, and I'm not talking about your offspring.
You hit the nail right on the head!! he is exactly like that.
I told him that im tired of him having to be the center of attention, enough already, he's a grown freakin man!! Its tiring having 3 children...
NOW.. he just called and its snowing where he is and can't work... on top of which he took my keys by mistake and I can't run my errands this morning. So the auto co. is coming out to give me another set.. which they should have given me already anyway.
So he is on his way home, and im not happy about it. I thought I was going to have a quiet day today, guess not.
He will be home in about 4 hours. uggghh
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
well, things went from bad to worse. I won't go into specifics but While doing the bills, I noticed a charge on there an didn't know what it was for. So I called H and asked him, he was avoiding the question and didn't want to talk about it (it was a rental charge for equipment) long story short instead of telling me that, he lied to me three times about it (like I wasn't going to find out)
I was so pissed... he bought this piece of equipment for 9k without even talking to me about it, knowing full well how tight we are with money, this is the last thing we needed.
I lost it, yes, I just couldn't take it anymore. I told him that lying to me was the absoulute WRONG thing he could have done, and that even though I still would have been mad about it, at least he would have told me the truth.
It excalated.
I told him that if he wasn't going to keep me in the loop why am I busting my azz for the business when you are keeping things from me. Then he uses the money card, and says that he can cut me off etc... that was enough for me to take my cell phone and head up stairs with the phone book and call a lawyer. All I really found out is that he can't kick me out or my children. The lawyer was kind of a weirdo, but I wanted to know something, he wants to see me on Monday at 9:30.
H knew I called a lawyer and he was really really quiet after that. He couldn't beleive I did that and how could he trust me now... ARE YOU KIDDING?????? I told him that I will not stand here while he waves his bank account in front of me holding it over my head, that I will do what I have to, to protect myself.
SOOOO... My poor boys heard most of this , it was unavoidable. S6 asked me if I was breaking up with daddy... and that he will miss his daddy. I told him not to worry about anything that we both love him to pieces and that will never change, sometimes mommy's and daddy's just can't get along, and it as nothing to do with you.
Nothing was said the rest of the evening. I asked him what he was doing tomorrow and he said going hunting. So NOW I have to explain why he isn't showing up at my mothers.. little backround.. there is no love loss there, so what the hell do I say???
I don't feel like going anywhere to tell you the truth. Im completely heart broken.
H did say that that I haven't wanted him in a long time... WHAT??? This man is seriously feeling sorry for himself. I did tell him that I was sick and tired of feeling unappreciated for all that I do, and that I constantly reassure him how we appreciate him for working so hard, but I don't get the same in return.
This was the biggest fight we've had in a long time. But it was a long time coming.
I feel bad canceling on my mother, I don't know what to do. S3 has a bad cold and now my glands are swollen, no doubt from being run down.
I also told him that if it was so bad here then why is he staying here with me, he says he wants to be with me.. ummmm funny way to show it huh.
So im sitting here pondering what to say to my mom, and what to do about H. he is in the woods, know way to contact him. I actually didn't even tell S6 we were going anywhere today, so I could cancel.. I don't know.. Hopefully someone is on today that can at least give me so advice...
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I am so sorry. I hope you bagged your moms with a 'we are sick' excuse, but maybe getting out a bit would have helped anyway. Either way, please check in.
I am so very sorry about the fight and the kids hearing it. Sometimes it is unavoidable. They seem to be around when things come to a nasty head, I hated that.
(((gf & Lwb))) thanks for checking up on me. Im ok.
H called me about 11am and I asked him what his plans were for the day, and he said he didn't know. I said do you want to come to my mom's or not? He said only if you want me there.... ok, so I said yes it would be nice considering you missed a lot being away this summer, so yes.
We talked for about an hour and a half. But it was a good healthy talk. He is very insecure. More than I realized. I think I have grown so independant that he doesn't think I need him , which of course isn't true. But Over the summer things did change because I had no choice.
Anyways, he says he doesn't feel loved by me, that I just go through the motions and that Im just here for the kids sake. (yes sometimes I feel that way, but I didn't say that) What I did say was I feel unappreciated, and he needs to work on showing me that he does appreicate what I do, and that I will do the same.
the kicker is, he is SO upset that I actually called a lawyer.. He is scared I think, although I feel a little bad about it, it doesn't outway the good I think it did to make him maybe wake up and see im not fooling around this time.
He feels that he is more in love with me and that Im falling out of love for him. True or not, this is what he feels.
So I did say that we both need to make a conscience effort to be alone sometimes, to get a sitter and spend adult time just us. He agreed. I told him that that is what its going to take, us BOTH putting the effort in, not me putting in 80%.
more was said, but that was the jist of it.
He met me at my mom's and it was nice. We had a nice time.
The rest of the night was nice too. He told me that he couldn't be without me and the kids and that he knows he's not perfect, he wants a better life for us, and that's why he works so hard.
emotional day, but turned out ok.
Thanks again for your support my friends.
I don't know what I would do without you.
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
yes, I just couldn't take it anymore. I told him that lying to me was the absoulute WRONG thing he could have done, and that even though I still would have been mad about it, at least he would have told me the truth. 
