GAL/Make-yourself-feel-better ideas!

[Dawn of Hope]

This thread is intended for the benefit of all DBers, not just me. I often find myself ending posts to other people's threads with something along the lines of "Do something to make yourself feel good!" Today it occurred to me that it might be helpful to have a thread full of ideas for doing just that.

There may already be something out there in the files of this nature, but if so, I haven't come across it yet. I know that Michele's books and the board archives have some general suggestions on GAL activities; my intent with this thread is to expand on those, and have more extensive/detailed ideas, and also include more activities that will help people feel better RIGHT NOW, as well as things that are more long-term.

So...concentrating on things that are free or cost very little, and mostly don't require another person's participation to be fulfilling, what can you think of that people who are going through difficulties (in other words, all of us) can do to make THEMSELVES feel good and/or GAL? Both spur-of-the-moment and more "planned" activities are helpful here.

Here are some ideas to start with:

-- Take time to watch a whole sunrise/sunset

-- Play games with your kid(s)

-- Play with your pet(s)

-- Watch funny movies

-- Plant/care for a garden (in pots if necessary)--whatever kind of plants most appeal to you (flowers/fruit/vegetables)

-- Go someplace that has your favorite dessert, order it BEFORE dinner, and concentrate on enjoying every bite

-- Figure out what your passion in life is, and find a way to use your time (not just your money) *directly* furthering a cause of that nature (for example, if your passion is the homeless/poorly-housed, you might serve meals in a soup kitchen or help build houses with Habitat for Humanity; if your passion is animals, volunteer to help with the animals at a zoo or animal shelter). No paper-pushing or phone work unless it really makes you feel like you're connected to your passion!

-- Declutter/clean one small (repeat, SMALL) area of your house/car/office/yard that has been bothering you, and admire the results (check out http://www.flylady.net for help if you have trouble keeping things tidy)

-- Make yourself a cup of tea, or coffee, or fresh-squeezed lemonade, or hot chocolate, or whatever it is that would be a treat for you--get the GOOD kind!--and just take ten or fifteen minutes to enjoy it and look at something soothing

-- Is there a game of some sort that you can do solo that you really enjoy? Solitaire, crossword puzzles, logic puzzles, sudoku...? Get whatever you need for that activity and...go to town with it!

-- Go for a walk outside, and really LOOK at the world around you--maybe pretend you will be reporting on the three most interesting things you saw along the way. If it interests you to do so, take pictures.

-- Exercise--whatever is your favorite. Bicycling, running, swimming, roller-blading, skateboarding, basketball...whatever you like. Do it at a pace that makes you feel GOOD.

-- Do some yoga--get a tape or get into a class if you don't know much about it. This is such a calming, peace-inducing activity that it deserved its own bullet point!

-- Take a self-defense class. This is especially helpful to combat the feeling of powerlessness that we all feel sometimes when we come to this board.

-- Explore a new or neglected creative activity--painting, drawing, pottery, singing, playing an instrument, dancing...take a class, buy a book, sign up for lessons, search the net...or just play with it on your own. (I can recommend the book "The Artist's Way," by Julia Cameron, for anyone who wants to be more creative or is getting stuck with their creative progress, or even anyone who thinks they aren't creative at all!)

What can you do FOR YOU?? How can you make yourself a better, HAPPIER person, right now, next week, next year? Please, add your own ideas to this thread!

Peace,
Dawn

[Dawn of Hope]

Okay, friends, let's have some ideas here! (Sorry, I know this is my drill-sergeant persona making an appearance!) I know some of you are REALLY good at this, so please give others the benefit of your thinking! Even if you haven't been at this very long, you can think back to things you may have enjoyed when life was "normal" and add those!

Peace,
Dawn

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Dawn.. I roped some people in to go for cocktails... they were a little reluctant (not cos of me, cos it was midweek, they werent sure about the other students that would be there).. so I told them, I will drive, we'll just go for an hour.. well, we stayed out for 3 1/2 hours and had a ball ! And I had a "Midnight Express" and very nice it was too !

We laughed and laughed.. encouraging some new/old friends to do something differnt, if only for an hour, can lead to great things and give you something to smile about, for a change.

Ali x

[forward]

So does hot but meaningless sex count?

OK, just kidding, but celibacy is getting boring, I must say.

I think it's OK to also go through a period of being alone. I've done that; am gradually wanting to get more active.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

JOIN A SOFTBALL TEAM OR A BOWLING LEAGUE!!!

[Dawn of Hope]

So does hot but meaningless sex count?

OK, just kidding, but celibacy is getting boring, I must say..

<Heh heh heh> Yeah, I'm almost at the point of going for that hot but meaningless sex thing! (ALMOST...but not planning to cross that line!) I *still* can't believe I'm M and living with my H but forced into celibacy for reasons other than health! I guess going straight from having only been involved with one person, ever, to becoming a "lady of the night" isn't my best option, though, huh? (Even though my night-owl tendencies would suit that profession nicely!)

I think it's OK to also go through a period of being alone. I've done that; am gradually wanting to get more active.

Being alone can be very healing. It does have to be balanced with socializing. I have always been an introvert, and very comfortable being alone--I get cranky and tired if I spend too much time with people!--so one of my 180s at the time of the bomb was to force myself to get out more. Sometimes you have to push yourself over that hump because you know it's in your best interests, even if you don't feel like doing it right then. I *always* found that if I did that, I felt a lot better at the end of the evening than I did when I went out the door--and that's despite the fact that my depression is prone to get worse as the day/evening wears on! At the same time...I do feel that you HAVE to have a certain amount of time alone to process and begin to heal what is happening. Otherwise you will not be able to come out of the experience as a better person rather than just a more damaged one.

JOIN A SOFTBALL TEAM OR A BOWLING LEAGUE!!!

Good, good! As is Ali's suggestion above...

So...what else can you think of? Keep those ideas coming!

Peace,
Dawn

[MidwesternGirl]

Dawn

There are things you can do

go to lunch with a friend
get a massage
go the museum
go shopping
join a church/church group
get in touch with friends you haven't seen or spoken to in a long time

[AliSuddenly]

I have written and sent thankyou cards to my aunties, my Mum and my two BFF.. for ALL the love and support they have given me and hours and hours on the phone over the past year. That felt so good.

Al x