Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 960
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 960
I've been off the boards for a long time. Not really sure why.

Anyway, like the title of my post says, H and I have been piecing consistently for about a year. Prior to that, we had been piecing for over a year -- very inconsistently.

We seem to be going strong. Although, like any M, it's not without its problems. But we do have a differnt R now. It seems to be one more based on mutual partnership, whereas in the past it was mroe dependant (I was a little needy).

Anyway, they say to keep the positive changes going. Here are the things I've been doing on that front:

- ML often -- by often, I mean 1 or 2 times a week. Not a lot to some, but to me it's plenty.
- Initiating ML at least half of those times (NEVER used to do this... EVER)
- Making sure I have my own life
- Making sure that while I have my own life, I show H in little ways that I like being with him (i.e. watching the Red Sox, buyign him cigars, putting my head on his shoulder once in a while). I jsut try to make sure I don't go overboard on any of that.
- Set up date nights... I try to make sure we're getting out without the kids once a month or so. Often times, it's with other couples. Need a good mix of going out with friends and going out alone.
- Letting things roll off my back more
- Questioning him less (but it still happens once in a while).

ANyway, we are doing well. Just wanted to stop in and say hi.


Married 9 years
Kids 5 and 6
Bomb 2006
H back and forth for a year
M now back on track
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,242
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,242
Hey! So glad to hear from you! I really like your list of things you're keeping your attention on, wise woman.

How are things with the anxiety you were fighting last time we talked?


Me-36
H-36
3 young children
Married-14y
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 960
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 960
Aud,
Thanks for asking! My anxiety is better. I went through a rough period. I think it was triggered by my deciding to stop taking my ADs. I just stopped cold turkey, which apparently is not the thing to do. So, it was almost liked I crashed back into a hightened state of anxiety.

The good news about going through that was that it made me look deeper into what triggers my anxiety. And by the way, I went back on teh Lexapro. Anyway, I'm doing better now.

That was probably around the time I had stopped posting. I've got to catch up with everybody. I'll hop on over to your thread to see what's up.


Married 9 years
Kids 5 and 6
Bomb 2006
H back and forth for a year
M now back on track
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,242
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,242
I'm glad you're doing better...anxiety is no fun to deal with. And it's good to have a handle on the triggers, for sure. Hope you have a nice weekend planned!


Me-36
H-36
3 young children
Married-14y
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
Member
Offline
Member
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 10,805
Peaceful,

Congratulations!!! You seem to have found a formula that works!
I'm glad you're around.....why not check in on some of the newbies and offer them what you've learned? (if you haven't already)

sg


sg
Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 694
R
Member
Offline
Member
R
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 694
((((((((((((((((( PS )))))))))))))))))

Soooo good to hear from you!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't been posting much myself, but I do check in from time to time...I am proud of you for staying the course...you will continue to heal, you will see....

Luv, Journey

Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,242
A
Member
Offline
Member
A
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,242
Hey darling--just checking in to see how your holidays went. Happy New Year!


Me-36
H-36
3 young children
Married-14y
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 960
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 960
Hey all... I haven't been posting for a while, but I've been thinking about everybody here lately. I'm going to drop in and see what's up with everybody in a little bit.

Thinks still on course with H. We continue to hit some stumbling blocks, but we work through them. It is definately work. It takes a conscious effort to make it work -- some days more than others. But, we seem to be moving along, nice and steady.

I started a blog where I am going to be posting about how to keep happiness in the family. I don't know what's compelling me to do it, but i just thought, what the heck. More about that later.

Hope you are all doing well and staying strong.


Married 9 years
Kids 5 and 6
Bomb 2006
H back and forth for a year
M now back on track
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 4,626
L
Member
Offline
Member
L
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 4,626
Chickie

Hiya!!!

I switched emails and in the middle of that could not find yours.

I spoke to Shades the other day and she asked for you, and I said I can't find her!!!!!

Here you are.

AND

doing well, I love it!

How are the kids???????????????????

Let's do dinner.

You still have my cell #


Live Simply
Love Generously
Care Deeply
Speak Kindly
Leave the rest to God
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 960
P
Member
OP Offline
Member
P
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 960
Dropping in to say hi. I just realized it's been a year since I've posted. UGH.

Anyway, things with H and me are going very well. Our marriage is much stronger than it was before the affair/MLC/hell ride... whatever you want to call it. We still have bumps in the road, but we have a very different dynamic now than before. Different in a good way.

Just wanted to pop in to let you all know how I'm doing. Now I'm going to check in on some folks.


Married 9 years
Kids 5 and 6
Bomb 2006
H back and forth for a year
M now back on track

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard