What's really nice about the handbook is, that it has some weight to it and if your former or soon to be former really p@sses you off you can throw it at 'em/ You get one point for a near miss, two for body contact, and three points for a direct hit to the head. (If I remember correctly, the point scoring system is in appendix D)
Hey, no fair GB! You have more "formers" than I do, you've doubled your chances of winning! What's Appendix D say about such situations?
And would that postage $ be in U.S. or CDN???? There is a much more significant price difference today, EH?
Kensgirl
FYI, they will also accept Canadian Tire money and if you act today they'll throw in, as an added bonus, that classic DBing bestseller "Stupidest Things Your Spouse Ever Said About The Affair" with an introduction written by Tie Domi. You can give it to your S/STBX as a Christmas gift, I know I will! So don't miss out.
Well, my job here is done. I'm off to bed to read Appendix C of the New Revised Standard Version (NRSV) of the Handbook. It'always best to read a couple of different versions to get the full picture. Personally, I do prefer the NLT (New Lusting Translation) for bedtime reading but you've gotta be open to new insights. Goodnight Dbers
Appendix D doesn't deal with that situation. You have to go to E for "Multiple Formers" scoring system, which is much more complex, but you do get extra points if both formers are present together at the same time and you land points as in D, but there is a multiplication factor depending upon your throwing toward former 1 or former 2, missing, direct hits, body parts, but a heavy penalty if you hit the wrong one. But, fortunately, most people don't have to refer to appendix E as they don't have multiple formers. No sense reading E Wii, you'll never have a former #2 (unless you have the misfortune as I with a 5 in 100 chance WAW DMMLCer). On the other hand , spent 58 minutes with former 1 on the phone this evening,( she initiated the call as usual) and it was a nice conversation. But that's down the road in your future. You'll just have to wait for that to happen, just like I had to wait for a few years. Bottom line, indeed , it takes some time to get used to it. Then you realize someone else of a higher power has been looking after you all this time, but you didn't "get it" when it was going on. You'll get there, just like the rest of us. Patience. Just give it (him) time.
Hahahahah! You guys crack me up. I almost wish I was getting D'ed just to be able to 'take part in this handbook craze'. Um, yeah, right! I'll stick to reconciling friends with H.
BTW, Canadian Tire money is very valuable, isn't it, Wii? It was worth more than Zimbabwean Dollars at one point.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I have a drawerful of CTM! I have been to other establishments that accept it like cash! It is a commodity for sure. And the store is only one block from my house! YIPPEE! Have you seen the new auto checkout system? I'm just getting used to it.
I have a drawerful of CTM! I have been to other establishments that accept it like cash! It is a commodity for sure. And the store is only one block from my house! YIPPEE! Have you seen the new auto checkout system? I'm just getting used to it.
Kensgirl
Hey, thanks for bringing that up! You need to refer to the section in the Handbook on "Standing in lines at the checkout" It can guide you through all the ins and outs of striking up conversations with the opposite sex during such times..."Oh, excuse me, do you know how to use this automated checkout thingy" ..."Oh my, you have such strong fingers.." Then you take it to the parking lot!
Well, Whatis held his ground tonight with STBX. I phoned to say goodnight to my kids and she asked to speak to me. She told me that on Thursday night she had to work late and therefore would not be able to look after the girls that night, our agreement is that on Thursday's each week she takes the kids. I told her that I had an appointment and could not help her. She continued to point out that the kids would be alone then and I said "I'm sorry I can't help you" Finally, because I am a reasonable fellow, I told her that on my way home from the appointment,at approximately 8:00 pm I would check in on the kids for her. Now, the old Whatis would have changed his appointment to fit W's schedule, not this time. So, I see it as a victory. I was not trying to be difficult but was standing my ground for my plans. Hey, I'm not your Hubby anymore and therefore don't have to do sweet piss all for ya! In the past week I have been more than accomidating as STBX's dance company had a performance this weekend and so I took the kids more than our agreed schedule called for to help out. I also accompanied the kids to W's performance. Now, to be fair, W told me she would take the kids last night and tonight because "you have done so much for me lately". Anyway, I did not change my plans for Thursday and that was that. I am always willing to do what is reasonable but no way am I cancelling my plans for her plans...those days are done. Btw, I just realized also that the old Whatis would not have allowed W to take the kids for these two nights to make up for the favours I'd done her, this time I said "thank you" and let her do it. One of my issues was doing too much and not accepting anything in return. In a way, that diminishes the other person when you won't accept something they are going to do for you, it leaves them emotionally in debt to you and eventually leads to resentment. I guess I'm learning, better late than never!
Good job with the boundary setting. That's especially improtant for guys like you and me who have really been beat up by our spouses and followed the Neville Chamberlain "Appeasement Doctrine". It didn't work in 1939, and it doesn't work now.
In order to make STBX happy, I just gave up on who I was. I lost ME, and you lost YOU! Any confidence I had was destroyed. It wasn't worth it.
Like my W., your STBXW's choice of a replacement partner screams of someone who is insecure, and unhappy in their own skin.
At least your W. verbalized that you have done a lot to help her. I never want to use the kids as hostgaes in this, but I will make it clear that she voted me off the island. I will help out with the kids when it's "not my turn", when I can, becasue I like being with them as often as possible. I will not be at my old house on the holidays. I don't care to. She chose this life style for all of us.
It's funny FLTC, but there's still a small voice in my head saying "don't be a sh!t, you can change your appointment!" It's hard to let that stuff go, it's so engrained! Thanks for checking in
