Thanks Theo, it's nice to know I'm on the right track! Well, the Plant Lady struck again today but at least now I can be amused by it. She has just returned from vacation and a co-worker and I were sitting in the lunchroom when in came PL. She said "I brought these treats back for you guys" and I said "thank you, that's very nice of you" and then she turned to my co-worker, addressed him by name and began explaining what the treats were, ignoring me completely! I asked her a question about her trip, she responded and then went back to explaining more about the eats to my co-worker. I really don't think she even realizes that she's acting this way, I think it's just become like breathing to her! Oh well, as I said, at least I can be amused by it now. Later Dbers.
Wii - so glad that you went to the church get-together!
I think that your convo with D was candid, but please be cautious that you don't set her up to try to take care of you at the same time. Teens are naturally self-centered, and you don't want her to feel guilty for a normal developmental stage (at least, not too guilty!). I am glad that she wanted to be there for you, though.
They really are between a rock and a hard place, our kids...
As far as the dating, it sounds like you are doing the right thing in taking a break - and its a GREAT idea to develop new friendships, like the Filipino family! Maybe if you go to the park, you can invite them to meet you there. Or go farther and ask them over for desert sometime, especially if the kids are about the same ages. Very healthy.
Donna, no need to worry about me dumping on my kids...it doesn't happen. I shared with my D why I wanted her company on Sunday because i didn't want her thinking it was just another power struggle, you know the kind "you want me to...and I don't want to". I didn't need that to deal with on top of a sad anniversary. But don't worry, she didn't like the church visit so all remained well with her.
Well, Whatis has just returned from picking up D11 from her gymnastics class. You will all be pleased to hear that Whatis has been abiding religiously to the P.W.C. Handbook (Parents Waiting for Children Handbook). I can repeat verbatim section 3(i) which states "parents of the opposite sex will only interact when it becomes absolutely necessary and in said cases interaction will not exceed the two minute maximum interaction allowance. Such interactions will consist of pleasantries, talk of children and/or of the event being attended. Smiles and waves are permitted in the parking lot areas only". If I abide by the by-laws for two more months I get my first merit badge! I won't even bring coffee into the waiting area, why take chances on blowing that merit badge...uh uh. I got a nice email from my Pastor today, just checking in on how I'm doing this week re the separation anniversary. He wrote "Those anniversaries are tough things--especially when the good memories they represent are in such stark contrast to the present reality. I suppose they heal as they get smaller in the rear view mirror--but that doesn't always help the present pain. It's important to note, Whatis, that God honors your faithfulness--and He is close in times like that, even though pain makes it harder to feel His presence. It was great to meet your daughters! I hope this week is better" A very nice gesture on his part, it's those small things people do for you in these times that often make the difference. Later Dbers.
Are you serious about the PWC Handbook (I'd have thought that was Personal Watercraft Handbook, but what do I know - LOL!). Is this issued by the gymnastics club, a guideline for divorcing parents or did you make it up? I've NEVER heard of such a thing and I've been with the kids and extra curricular activities for years.
Yes, the first anniversary of the sep is tough. Just last week someone told me their birthday and it was the date we split. I still cringed. Most things get better, some sting for a long time.
Are you serious, you've never heard of the Handbook! OMG, does this mean you've been talking to Dad's not knowing about the demerit system that's in effect. You may not be able to renew your subscription to Today's Parent if you continue on this path and that's just the beginning of the dire consequences that can be inflicted. So stop yourself now, while you can still be redeemed. Just call 1-800-I-MESSED-UP and they'll rush you a copy of the Handbook (but remember to inc. postage and handling to offset costs, it's a non-profit outfit). DO NOT DELAY...CALL NOW!
Yeah, knowing Mr. Wii ... he is kidding, big time! Although, from great jests comes great ideas. Perhaps there needs to be such a handbook, 'eh!? There should also be one called RFOC (Reconciled Friends Obstacle Course - how to avoid issues that your friends complained about, and find a way to be friends again without them knowing you weren't for a short time - I believe wine is very helpful during encounters). Then there can be the opposite handbook UFOC - Unreconciled Friends Obstacle Course (again, wine is very helpful).
Y'all take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Yeah, knowing Mr. Wii ... he is kidding, big time!
No way! I know a guy who started going to coffee with a mom and the Handbook Task Force raided his home, confiscated not only his bigscreen T.V but the remote too! It was horrible to see a grown man just fall to pieces like that...he still has flashbacks and nightmares, it's just not worth that kind of risk! Hey, I learned my lesson, The Handbook rules.
What's really nice about the handbook is, that it has some weight to it and if your former or soon to be former really p@sses you off you can throw it at 'em/ You get one point for a near miss, two for body contact, and three points for a direct hit to the head. (If I remember correctly, the point scoring system is in appendix D)
Although, from great jests comes great ideas. Perhaps there needs to be such a handbook, 'eh!? There should also be one called RFOC (Reconciled Friends Obstacle Course - how to avoid issues that your friends complained about, and find a way to be friends again without them knowing you weren't for a short time - I believe wine is very helpful during encounters). Then there can be the opposite handbook UFOC - Unreconciled Friends Obstacle Course (again, wine is very helpful).