I needed a new thread, but honestly I am at a loss as to what to write. So, Jeff, since copying is the best form of flattery, I think I am going to take a page from you and just update.
But first, I want to hug Jen (((Hugs))) because I cannot imagine what she is going through right now, and to tell her that she and her D are in my prayers every day. Love you Jen.
The bankruptcy is finally complete, and I am amazed at how much less the creditors are calling. I do get my car back, finally, tomorrow. H has been great, and I have talked to him almost every day. Small steps, although in light of the circumstances of this week, I have begun to appreciate those little things more than anything. H is taking me to get my car tomorrow, and I am going to make sure he knows how much I appreciate all that he has done for me.
Job is great, and I will know in 9 days whether I will be permanent. Pray. It will be a little more stability in a very unstable year.
Yesterday was one year from the day H and I separated. He drove me to work, and although I am sure that he doesn't remember the significance of that day, it was a little fitting that we were not as chatty as we usually are. Just sitting in silence, a few words here and there, and I hugged him when I got out of the car. I am testing the waters just a little, every once in a while I kiss him on the cheek.
After what Jen has been through, I have wanted to just reach out to him and tell him how much he means to me, just so he knows, but I also know the timing is very bad. So I wrote him a letter, in my journal. I hope to share it with him someday.
Anyway, that is where I am. Not too much going on.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I may end up sending him an email over the weekend. Nothing mushy, but in light of all of this, I really do want him to know how much I care, no matter what the consequence. Even if he turns and walks away. Even if he pulls back, I don't ever want him to doubt that I will always care for him.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Hi Lola. Just wanted to pop in and say hi! My one year sep anni is coming up as well. Can't believe it's been a year. What growth! What pain!
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Thanks guys. I have been taking a break for a few days because I had some soul searching to do. Everything seemed to be going so well, and then the DAM had to bring up the good ole' D word again on Friday, while I am sitting in the parking lot of the auction house where my car was. Says to me "Can we discuss the other paperwork?" Me, duma$$ says what paperwork? He mumbles the divorce.
Well guys I have just had enough. I love my stupid German husband, but I am honestly sick to death of dealing with this crap. He is so wishy washy. Just when we get close, he backs off. I am LRT...dark. Completely. I have absolutely no desire whatsoever to talk to him at all right now. I am just angry. So he can kiss my butt. I emailed him, told him he could do his own homework. I sent him a quick email this morning to let him know....drum rolll please...for those of you not in the alternate universe I received a permanent job offer from the law firm I work for on Friday!!! I wanted to tell him where he could shove his insurance, but I was a little more eloquent. He sent me a "Congratulations!!" and I felt angry at that. I did not want his congratulations. I don't want him to be happy for me. I don't want anything from him right now except for him to leave me alone and let me heal.
Vent vent vent
So that is where I am.
(((Jen))) I'm gonna miss you, but will see you "on the flipside..."
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I actually told the DAM that I couldn't see him anymore. Man that felt good.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
