FL, you have to stop thinking in those terms. She wants it and it needs to be done, so she doesn't think the way you do. So it's nev er going to be a reasonable conversation.
Why don't YOU call the coach? You're home now. You're a man and probably more into hockey than she is. So offer to take that challenge. Offer to ask so you don't have to go through her - she would have to find out from you. Plus that's a thing close to your heart and you getting involved is a very thing, or would be.
I have 3 boys FL. And boys do cry. As long as we let them be human and allow them to, then they will be good strong humans in the end. But we can never bring it up a 2nd time and we can only remember those times in our hearts. See, being the mom of boys did teach me something.
Yuck, I am so glad I no longer have to worry about youth coaches. So many are not there for the right reasons. But to our kids, it's the only thing that matters in life, this I know. My boys were into baseball. So I know where you are.
It IS amazing what the WA's think FL. But it doesn't matter. Your kids need you. Just be there.
FLTC, I remember when my D14 was having school problems a few months after W and I separated. W denied that our separation had anything to do with the problem, "she's just lazy" was W's analysis. Anytime I suggested otherwise I was told "don't psychologize everything" Well, one night I blew during a discussion re D's school difficulties. I told her I was "damn sick and tired" of her acting as thought the separation had no effect on anyone in the family. I said "This family has been through Hell and it's damn time you actually acknowledged that fact" She cried and hung up on me. So, FLTC, I know it's hard but be thankful that she actually has some awareness, it's something anyway!
I had a good talk with S10 yesterday. I basically told him that he worked so hard to make the top team, and the coach actually selected him, and no one should be allowed to take that away from him. He made the team by hard work and talent. He seemed to really respond to that. I asked him how he would feel if he went down a level and saw his old team mates playing together. He told me that he would probably feel he made the wrong choice, and went on to have a great practice. We'll see. The parents were actually laughing about the coach being tossed from the game. Time for these guys to go to Iraq for a year so that they can see what's important.
wii; W. used to chalk up S10 crying to "he's tired", so she can see it now, but has to throw in the "Iraq" card as well. I'm sure that was an issue, but......
On a good note, D18 SEEMS to be thriving at college. She got a 90 on her bio test. Only 1 of 6 kids to get a 90 or higher. She wants to come home this weekend, and asked W. if she could stay with her. W. responded she'd have to think about it, because D18 was asked to leave the house because of her "dishonesty". W. said to me that she doesn't want her in the house if it's just to "come home for social interactions". It NEVER ends between these two. Let her come home, give her a curfew and be quiet...ugh.
FLTC So your stbx wife doesn't want you daughter to come visit, if it is for social interactions? Isn't that what college kids do? Better yet, why doesn't your daughter stay with you? After all your stbx wife has already asked her to leave the house. It is going to be you to save these kids. Your stbx wife is not living in the real world. Her life is about what she wants and to heck with everyone else, including the kids she had. Step up to the plate Dad. Let your kids know that your home is a safe haven for them. Take Care
What a sad thing; I can imagine being a college student, finally doing well in school and proud of the accomplishment, calling Mom and asking if I could come for a visit - and being told she'd have to think about it. As a matter of fact, I might have assumed that I was welcomed...glad your D had the foresight to check first. What a welcome home that would have been! REWARD good behavior, dumba$$!!!!
Sorry....
as for S crying....my S was always sensitive, would cry a lot. I remember getting worried about him, just around your son's age. Would he always be like this? Would kids start calling him a crybaby? His dad would get angry at the tears... I have to say, he has grown out of it for the most part. Recently, probably over last year and this. I hadn't even thought about it until just now...now, he seems to cry over things that are really sad, rather than frustration. I just kept up with him, telling him to use words and other ways to express himself when he was frustrated, disappointed, angry...and pointed out when tears were appropriate because of sadness. (Unfortunately, he had a lot of practice in experiencing the difference).
Thanks, Pammie and Donna. Welcome back Pammie!! I would think that for 2 days, W. could say, sure come home, but don't roll in at 2AM after being out all night. Period. No. It has to be "It's about her not being honest with me, and never having been honest with me, and I need to see some growth in that area." Chu Hoi. Don't Shoot! I give up!
The fact that D18 even thought about going back home is a big deal. Even though it's for social convenience, because I live two towns away from her friends and won't play taxi.
D16 will probably be released from clinic on Monday. Her therapist thinks W. and I should meet before D16 comes home for a plan. I am SO TIRED of therapists of all kinds.................
D16's insurance coverage expires today. The clinic is trying to appeal. W. volunteers that WE will pay out of pocket for the remaining 5 days until she is discharged.
I KNOW D16 has to be priority one, but with 10K in mediation charges, and a pending financial storm, it just makes me so angry that she "has to" proceed on course. Just venting!!! Take it easy on me!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know how I feel about this. Why she can't be discharged tomorrow is beyond me, rather than 5 days from now. She will go back to the out-patient clinic.
I hope that you have a good visit with D18, and that you get to spend some time with her, if no more than the car ride. They talk a lot in the car, don't they?
Are you picking up D16, too? I hope that they are keeping her the 5 days to finish the program, not just for the holiday weekend... It seems like such a short stay for something that is so deeply set - what is the difference between there and out-patient?
Do you have to work on Fri? I do - stinks, cause the kids have off from now thru Mon. They'll come to work with me.
