Well friends, it looks like I might get a roommate. I am a little nervous about this but ultimately I think it could be a good thing. I have been thinking about renting a room for some time. It has been a little tricky because DD still comes home, and that is what I would consider the "extra" room in my 3br house. My son's old room is my office, and I have the master BR and attached bath.
My GF who lives nearby told me of a man she knows who is looking for a place month-to-month while he gets his life organized after/during a separation. I don't know any of the details of his R situation, but we met along with his 9 year old boy. They both got along great w/ Argo and the boy seemed very happy and loving with his dad.
One thing that I think would be good is that he is a handyman type and he said he would be willing to do work in trade. This is actually something I have been wanting for a while!
We are going to meet later this week to draw up a terms and conditions agreement.
I am nervous but hopeful that it will work out for the best!
SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
Hey there SG--- How well does your friend know this man? I would be very wary of renting a room in my home to a stranger who says he is or maybe even worse who actually is going through a divorce. But umm you actually said after/during a separation. Not good either. And especially one who offers work in kind right up front rather than planning to pay the rent. Once he is in you can't force him to do anything really. And personally I would rather have rent money to then pay professionals for work than count on someone with unknown handyman skills. What exactly does "handyman type" mean? Where is the evidence that he could do anything? What is his job at the moment? Hard times is the wrong answer. Do you want to risk the potential of having someone in bad economic circumstances that you do not know sharing your home? Could there be a nasty custody battle that might happen and you would be caught in the middle? All kinds of questions are circling around right now for me on this deal. It's moving much too quickly for my comfort.
Before you sign any kind of agreement you should become familiar with the laws in your area about renting and how difficult it would be to get him out of there if it something wasn't right.
I would suggest if you want a roommate to search for the right one. This may be exactly what you want, but you should at a minimum do a background check on him. I mean it sounds like you have close quarters there, just be careful. I don't mean to sound negative about what you are hopeful about but aren't you more than just a little nervous? What does your gut really say? You should have references and check them, know his employment situation, a lot of stuff before closing this deal. Please go slowly. You know where I am coming from on this so I had to say something. No one should get the benefit of the doubt when it comes to our safety and our money and our privacy and our sharing what we have worked to hard to create and preserve. And if he pressures you in any, and I mean any, way drop it, it's hot. Cheers, Wonder
Points well noted. I am requiring references and will be doing a background check. Our town is small enough and I have been here long enough that it is pretty easy for me to learn what I need to about a person.
Yesterday I was having my weekly phone call w/my sister. She was complaining about our mom and the election. Sis and mom are complete opposites this year, and my mom keeps telling sis, "you're young, you don't really know..." To which sis replied, "mom, I'm 48! When will you treat me like an adult!?"
When talking to sis she shared some concerns about me getting a roommate as well. I told her the same thing she told my mom, only I said, "I'm 51!"
Anyways, I realize this is all helpful concern. And thank you.
S had his dental work rescheduled for this morning. I had offered to drive him, but he called me today after he had the procedure done. He took the bus there and was waiting for the bus to take him home.
He is 22 and SO independent! I am really proud of him. Tho a big part of me misses more constant interaction.
It seems that another spit storm hit the board. That makes me sad. I have really enjoyed the support and camaraderie of the bb since I joined all those many years ago.
SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
The bb really helped me when I really needed it. When I was going through the bombs I tried several other bbs but felt like I came "home" when I found this one.
Very Sad.
SG
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
Today I was reading my morning blog roll (I use Google Reader as an aggregator) and I came across a nice post from Seth Godin who writes about marketing, respect, and the ways ideas spread. I teach online and in my classes we create small online communities.
Not to beat a dead horse, but elsewhere someone asked me about the spitstorm that erupted on my Peach Tree thread. I have always tried to be positive here, and I try to use the bb to help sort out options for myself. I try to post at least a couple of times to others for each post I do for myself. "give one - get one"
Sometimes people need sympathy. Sometimes they are asking for advice. Sometimes they aren't asking for advice but they get it anyway!
That said, I think in an cyber-space like this it is hard to remember the human. . I am on several e-mail lists and there is usually a big flare up every couple of years or so. I try to stay out of it. I try not to get so emotionally involved in what other people say.
However, one day a few months ago someone said something on her thread that really got under my skin. And I wrote an indirect response to her on my own thread. I wasn't surprisedat all when she picked up on what I wrote and responded. What DID surprise me was how off the wall the response seemed, and also the huge amount of back and forth was generated.
At the time, because the response was so unrelated to what I wrote, I took it to mean that it was "about them" and not "about me" and then forgot about it. I actually just chalked it up to stress.
Because in a way, everyone here is shell-shocked and stressed to a certain extent. We are survivors...but I know in some ways I am like a post-traumatic stress syndrome survivor.
The poster did apologize to me on my thread and wrote me privately and apologized again.
Oh, and what Seth Godin said today?
People online are real people.If you send a nasty email, there's a real human being on the other end who gets it. If you flame in a forum, you're wasting real people's time. If you spam someone, you're really only making yourself look bad. If you write IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS it sounds like shouting. If you want something to happen your way, try asking instead of demanding. If you give, you'll probably wind up getting, too. If you blog just to pick fights, don't be surprised when people don't trust you. If you collaborate, say thanks. If you're independent, say no thanks. If you like someone, tell them. If you don't, walk away from the computer. If you're giving feedback, lead with just one good thing. If you're getting feedback, realize that the person must care a lot to have sent it. If you goof, apologize. If you apologize, mean it. If you smile, mean that too. If you don't like something, don't do it. If you do like something, spread it.
But far far more important:
Give people a break. The break you probably deserve yourself. People are out to do good, 99% of the time. You probably are too. Say thanks out loud and a lot. Try making someone's day. Chances are they'll make yours in return.
Thank you everyone for the humor, support, friendship, caring, advice and wisdom shared over the years.
Survival Goddess "The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don't have any." -Alice Walker
